The Business of Brian

So...I finally decided to reply to Brian's text on Monday afternoon. We texted back and forth a little bit about summer plans and my new job search. He was a little more responsive than he has been in the past, but not by much. There was a time of about 2 hours between two texts, but I was prepared for it and did my own thing during that time anyway. At the end, he said that he was headed into a meeting, but we should catch up soon. At the point in the day, I was a little uncertain about my feelings for him, but I kind of decided that a low key thing would probably be okay. I texted back that catching up sounded good and suggested coffee for the next week. He liked the idea and told me that he was looking forward to it.

He just texted me this afternoon, and I quote, "Hey, whatcha doing Sunday night?" Maybe I am super picky, but I don't care. The "u's," "whatcha's," and "how've's" have got to go. They are not real words and he is a grown man. Anyway, my first gut reaction was not"Oh, joy! Brian texted me! what could it be?!" It was more like, "eek. What is this going to say when I open it? I am a little nervous." And that is not a great indicator of things. So I went to a couple of friends I have here at work and asked for some advice. It sounds like the my options are to shut him down or give him a shot. Lila thinks that I should go out with him for the blog. That doesn't seem like the right reason...but it's something.

I wrote back that Sunday should be fine. I was returning from a weekend trip and didn't know when I would be back. He wrote back "Nice, where u headed?" There it is again. The terrible "u." I told him in very concise words. Like the name of the location and that is it. What else do I need to say? I don't have to apologize for my texting. I am trying to be open about all of this and I think the moment I get caught up in how I respond will ruin me.

So that's the story so far. I will definitely post about our Sunday "catch up" if it indeed happens.

E-mailing Sebastian

So I didn't pay attention to my eHarmony subscription and it apparently just renewed itself AGAIN.  Eff-bombtastic.  Anyway, I decided that I'm going to go whole hog on this thing and actually send out feelers to guys on my own instead of waiting for them to contact me.  Because why the heck not?  I doubt that I'm going to find the love of my life on this thing, but I might as well try to date.  It's sad that I have to travel to NYC just to make out with a stranger for a couple of hours when I could potentially find a stranger down here to do the same thing with.

 

That said, I'm at the e-mail stage with Sebastian, a 29-year old science teacher who lives about twenty-five miles away, past Manassas.  That's really far, but whatever.  It can't hurt to give him a shot and he seems nice.  What's kind of funny to me is that he sent his final questions to me over a week ago, but I didn't get back to him until last night.  I wanted to give thoughtful answers, but last night I was tired from the bus trip home from NYC, so I gave up and was like, "Whatever.  Who cares about thoughtful answers?  I'll sound more real if I just answer without thinking too hard about my three best traits in a relationship for a partner." (My answers: optimism, honesty, and, in a cop-out, I kind of referred back to the optimism and said that I believe the best in people...or something).

 

So I sent them and not too long later I got an eHarmony e-mail from him.  In one of my responses, I mentioned that I'd briefly tried CatholicMatch, but kind of gave up on it; I mentioned it because I suspected that he was Catholic, too (I was right; it was an easy guess because he looks very Italian) and in his e-mail he said that he'd also tried it.  He also said that his subscription was expiring (and right then I should have checked mine--almost did, too), so he gave me his personal e-mail address, but told me that if I didn't feel comfortable with that yet, he'd pay the $20 to extend for another month.  Well, I care too much about wasting money to allow that, so I just gave him my e-mail address.  What's the worst that can happen?  He turns out to be crazy and I have to create a filter to make sure that I don't see his e-mails?  I'm not too worried.

 

So we'll see how it goes...and if anything happens with the other two or three guys that I'm technically communicating with.  Or real life guys!  There are a couple new sailors at work and they're both kind of cute.  One already talked to me and flirted with me and the other guy I caught staring in a non-creepy way.  You know what I mean: if he'd been ugly, it would have been creepy, but he's attractive so it wasn't.

 

Unrelated, a mutual friend of mine and Charlie's told me that he moved to Arlington and now lives on the same road as my work building.  The road in question is quite long, but it's probably only considered to be Arlington for about five miles and he runs more than that in a day--so, theoretically, I could run into him just walking to and from my car.  That's kind of too close to comfort, but at least I'm prepared.  At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if I ran into him soon because that's just the way my life works.  It'll be fine, though...and I'm going to make sure that I'm thin, fit, and tan when it happens.

Bachelorette Party, NYC-Style

This weekend involved a surprise bachelorette party for my friend, Iris, in New York City.  Now I don't remember a whole lot of Saturday night, but some important stuff went down.  We started out at a rooftop bar overlooking the Empire State Building which was pretty awesome and then we moved on to some other club.  It happened to be Fleet Week which kept making me think of Sex and the City when Charlotte showed her boob to some sailor.  I didn't show my boobs, but I did dance with a couple of 21-year old sailors...or "juice boxes" as one friend described them (because if men are best when aged to a fine wine, these babies were juice boxes).

 

Iris introduced me to one of these juice boxes and I started dancing with him.  I was pretty drunk at this point which is my only explanation for the rest of the night.  I asked how old he was and he told me and I let him know that I was entirely too old for him.  He said that he didn't mind and was dancing entirely too close to me--so close that I could pretty much tell exactly what he was after.  In my drunken state, I felt so big sisterly to these boys that I didn't want them wasting their time with me.  "I know that you're only here for a short time before you have to get back to your boat.  If you're looking for sex, it's not happening with me, so you should look elsewhere if that's what you're after."  Hilariously, the kid politely excused himself and I told him to be safe and use protection (because I didn't want him getting STDs or getting a girl pregnant).  I had to tell another boy all this before I met the guy that I spent the rest of the evening with.

 

One of my married friends introduced me to Ted; for some reason I thought that he was in the Navy, too, and it must have been because I was too drunk to remember each time he told me that he wasn't.  Anyway, he told me that he was 25 and I tried to pull the same stuff on him that I had on the little sailors by letting him know that sex wasn't happening and I'd have no hard feelings toward him if he went off somewhere.  He refused to go and even asked me why I was trying to get rid of him.  He claimed that he'd come into that part of the bar and paid the $10 cover because he'd seen me walking in.  I...kind of doubt this, but it's flattering so I'll accept it.  Anyway, Ted bought me a drink and maybe we danced?  I don't remember if we did for long before we started making out in a corner.  We'd stop every once in a while and say stuff, but we were definitely more interested in making out.  I did learn his first and last name and he gave me a business card--and we exchanged cell phone numbers--but most of what we talked about is jumbled up in my mind.  I did spend a while trying to convince him that he didn't want to be with me and remember saying, "You don't know anything about me!" to which he responded, "I want to know everything about you."

 

I told him that he was smooth and he said that he wasn't being smooth, he was just being honest.  Yeah, right.  He asked what my full name was and I told him, so then he repeated my first and middle names along with his last name.  "No, no, NO!" I shrieked.  "We're not doing that!"  I have to hand it to him, though: as a player, he knew what I'd be interested in hearing.  Obviously I don't want a random guy in a bar to bring up marriage to me, but hearing that marriage is a thing that crosses his mind?  If I were a different kind of girl, it would have given me the warm and fuzzies.  Shoot, it still entertained and charmed me enough to keep me making out with him for nearly two hours.  My friends apparently would come by and check to make sure that I hadn't left the spot, but we kept doing that until last call.

 

I don't regret it, either.  It was fun and the last time I did more than share a single kiss or two with a guy was back at the beginning of November when Nathan and I were still a couple.  Anyway, I got a text message the next morning saying, "Wanna make out?" and I replied, "I'm on my way to Mass and I'm pretty sure that God disapproves of that happening in His house."  I hoped that he'd message back, but he never did, so I'm guessing that that's the end of that guy.

 

Even though Iris and I have zero recollection of this, when we got back to our friend's apartment after the bar, we argued for a half an hour over who looked better naked, her fiance, Carl, or a mutual friend of everyone's that I did a little more than make out with a couple times back in college, Trey.  We were both apparently very adamant that our respective guys would win in a "Naked off" but there was no winner.  Except all of our less drunk friends who got to hear about it all.  Ha!

Some Organization

An FYI:  I just posted four old posts and backdated them to when I originally wrote them:

Xavier and More on 5 April 2010

Carson the Law Student on 5 April 2010

Caps Game Cometh on 6 April 2010

Birthday Rehash on 16 April 2010

I've been busy, I've been lazy, and I've procrastinated hugely, but now I'm back with new stuff.  Stay tuned.

xoxo,
Lila

Seriously?

Oh my goodness. Brian is driving me crazy!! You remember Brian, right? He was the guy that I made out with, dress-less, in my bed at my Christmas party. And then because I was a little unsettled the next morning, since he was the 1st guy I had ever had sleep over, he decided all on his own, that I was not interested and ignored me. So when I needed him the most to help me feel like not a slut, he was gone.

Or so I thought. Then 2 months later, he texted me happy birthday. And then a few weeks after that he commented on my facebook status asking about a job that I was interviewing for. I told him what it was and a couple weeks later he asked if I had heard any news about the job. I told him that I hadn't heard anything yet.

Then last night he sent me a text. It said, "hey you, how've u been?" He sent it at 11:40PM (I didn't get it until 2), but we all know that a text from a guy after 11 is dangerous. And why is he texting me at all? Why is he doing this? And this morning I got on facebook and saw his last 2 status reports.

1st:
is headed outta DC to the Bay tonight for some fun!! Happy Memorial Day!!
(at 7:40)

and then:
ladies, "in only gonna break break, break break your heart" ;-) (at 11:30)

Thought number 1: he wrote the song lyric incorrectly. It's not "in gonna", it's "I'm gonna." So putting aside his awful typing or song knowledge...
Thought number 2: Due to my amazing detective skills, I have discovered that he wrote that status only about 10 minutes before texting me.

So I believe we have 2 options. There could be others, but I'm to befuddled to think hard enough. Option 1: He just likes the song and it has no connection to me or any other girl and I should just let it go. Option 2: the song is somehow meaningful to me and/or the situation which is grouped with the text he sent. I guess I do have a third option. Option 3: Who the F cares?

I don't know what he is thinking or doing. I don't know even how I feel or what I want to do. What is happening? How do I respond?

Grrrrrrrr!!

The Nephew From Philly

I don't even know if this counts, but I feel like this blog has been slacking recently so I am going to write about an event that I attended this weekend.

Saturday morning I went to a wedding. It was for a high school friend and really fun. I looked gorgeous, thank you very much. Then after the reception, I went to another friend's graduation party. I, of course, wanted to see my friend, but she and her mom (I work with the mom) have also been talking up her cousin, Matt, for months, so I was curious.

I got to the grad party and met all of the family members who were there, including Matt. And he is really cute. He used to be a teacher but switched gears and is now working for a non profit that mentors kids. That is actually something that I am really interested in doing so I was intrigued by that. I was talking with the whole extended family (I was the only non family member there after my friend's boyfriend left). It looked like people were starting to leave so I was gathering my things, but the mom told me to stay.

We were all talking outside and then decided to move inside to play Scattergories. Real exciting I know. It was my friend and I teamed up against her brother and her dad, her mom and Matt, and her gramma and her aunt. We came in 2nd place. Anyway, the game was a lot of fun because we were just being silly and laughing and arguing over people's answers. Then all of the "adults" decided to go to bed, so once again I started to get my things because I felt bad for staying for so long. The mom told me to stay again! So the "young kids" (friend, brother, Matt, and myself) went to the basement and played pool. I was on Matt's team and the whole group was talking about all sorts of random topics. Matt and I won twice in a row which is pretty amazing since I suck at pool. Though I did get a few balls in.

We went back upstairs and outside to the porch area to talk some more. My friend's brother is very deep and spiritual. He is 20 so I think he is just absorbing everything and talking about it before he even knows what it means. Needless to say, we had some very interesting conversations. We also talked about more relaxed topics like books and movies. He actually made some character analizations about myself that I had never though about before. It was was really kind of funny.

The group finally decided to call it a night. When I went inside, I saw that it was 1:30Am. Good grief! I was at that party for a very long time! I had a really great time too. I liked Matt a lot. He was nice, funny, smart, interesting, attractive. But part of me is like, what is the point? He lives in Philadelphia! What's the use? That might be my jaded and bitter side of life talking, but it could also be my rational side. Anyway, I facebooked him and said how it was nice to meet him and then added a little comment from one of our many discussion topics. He responded with him having been happy to meet me (with an exclamation point) and then thanked me for helping him show his cousins who is the boss at pool. And then nothing. Which is fine, right? I mean, I wasn't even expecting any comment back, so any is a good sign. I think. And I am really interested in his job and how he got into it so I think I might ask him about that. Should I just go into this as making a new friend? I should, shouldn't I? It's just hard for me sometimes because I want to be happy and dating someone, and when I meet someone who I like I get all weird and comjumbled (new word). It's like I don't know how to flirt, what to do, or even act normal. It's a terrible, terrible curse and I wish it would disappear.

So any advice? I would love some.

e Recap

Ok, it has definitely been awhile since the last posting. And I think it is about time for a recap.

Match #4 turned out to be kind of a creeper. We were planning on meeting up and then he texted me at 12:30 AM. And as my roommate once told me, anything after 11:00 PM is a booty call. Knowing this, and the fact that he is texting me after midnight before we have even met, I was a bit unsure. And in the previous e-mail, I suggested we get coffee. When he sent me the text, he said that we should go to Applebees or Red Robin. Now, I don't consider myself a snob, but really? Applebees or Red Robin? A) I thought we were getting coffee and B) Really? Those restaurants are not high on my list. So, I cut ties with him. I was incredibly put off by everything he had said and done and that's not a good start.

Match #5 I never got back to. I was meaning to, but my life has been so hectic that it's been a really long time since we last spoke. Plus, he drives a pedicab for a job. Here we go again, I am really not a snob, but I'm sorry, that's not a real job. Right? I mean he bikes people around DC for money. It's not even a cab where he has an actual car. So I am not going to be reuniting myself with him.

So now I would like to introduce you to Match #6. He is 31, white, lives in Annandale, 6'1" and works for the government. I thought I would try an older, hopefully more mature man. In his e-mails to me, it was like he had word vomit. He told me everything about his life and none of it was happy. He told me about his awful childhood, his parents divorce, his step brother dying, etc. And he asked weird questions like what my birth order is and he had just read 2 books about birth order. He also said that he cannot live without his cats. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and e-mailed him back. He responded with telling me that he left his job in the military b/c he couldn't do bad things to good people anymore, or something like that. He also wrote about how he doesn't believe in God b/c religion was forced on him as a child. And he wrote a paragraph about his cats. He ended his e-mail asking me why I put maybe for wanting kids. Um...what? Are we planning our future together already? It was all too much in such a short period of time. I don't plan on continuing correspondence, but if we did, I feel like I already know everything about him! What more is there to talk about?

AY yay yay! My membership to eharmony expires next week and I am out! This is too stressful and kind of disappointing. I am going to take the summer off and see where things end up for me in the fall. I am trying to make it through the next 2 months at work and am looking for a new job. I cannot handle dumb boys in addition.

Awesome. I feel great. Can't you tell?