Bachelorette Party, NYC-Style

This weekend involved a surprise bachelorette party for my friend, Iris, in New York City.  Now I don't remember a whole lot of Saturday night, but some important stuff went down.  We started out at a rooftop bar overlooking the Empire State Building which was pretty awesome and then we moved on to some other club.  It happened to be Fleet Week which kept making me think of Sex and the City when Charlotte showed her boob to some sailor.  I didn't show my boobs, but I did dance with a couple of 21-year old sailors...or "juice boxes" as one friend described them (because if men are best when aged to a fine wine, these babies were juice boxes).

 

Iris introduced me to one of these juice boxes and I started dancing with him.  I was pretty drunk at this point which is my only explanation for the rest of the night.  I asked how old he was and he told me and I let him know that I was entirely too old for him.  He said that he didn't mind and was dancing entirely too close to me--so close that I could pretty much tell exactly what he was after.  In my drunken state, I felt so big sisterly to these boys that I didn't want them wasting their time with me.  "I know that you're only here for a short time before you have to get back to your boat.  If you're looking for sex, it's not happening with me, so you should look elsewhere if that's what you're after."  Hilariously, the kid politely excused himself and I told him to be safe and use protection (because I didn't want him getting STDs or getting a girl pregnant).  I had to tell another boy all this before I met the guy that I spent the rest of the evening with.

 

One of my married friends introduced me to Ted; for some reason I thought that he was in the Navy, too, and it must have been because I was too drunk to remember each time he told me that he wasn't.  Anyway, he told me that he was 25 and I tried to pull the same stuff on him that I had on the little sailors by letting him know that sex wasn't happening and I'd have no hard feelings toward him if he went off somewhere.  He refused to go and even asked me why I was trying to get rid of him.  He claimed that he'd come into that part of the bar and paid the $10 cover because he'd seen me walking in.  I...kind of doubt this, but it's flattering so I'll accept it.  Anyway, Ted bought me a drink and maybe we danced?  I don't remember if we did for long before we started making out in a corner.  We'd stop every once in a while and say stuff, but we were definitely more interested in making out.  I did learn his first and last name and he gave me a business card--and we exchanged cell phone numbers--but most of what we talked about is jumbled up in my mind.  I did spend a while trying to convince him that he didn't want to be with me and remember saying, "You don't know anything about me!" to which he responded, "I want to know everything about you."

 

I told him that he was smooth and he said that he wasn't being smooth, he was just being honest.  Yeah, right.  He asked what my full name was and I told him, so then he repeated my first and middle names along with his last name.  "No, no, NO!" I shrieked.  "We're not doing that!"  I have to hand it to him, though: as a player, he knew what I'd be interested in hearing.  Obviously I don't want a random guy in a bar to bring up marriage to me, but hearing that marriage is a thing that crosses his mind?  If I were a different kind of girl, it would have given me the warm and fuzzies.  Shoot, it still entertained and charmed me enough to keep me making out with him for nearly two hours.  My friends apparently would come by and check to make sure that I hadn't left the spot, but we kept doing that until last call.

 

I don't regret it, either.  It was fun and the last time I did more than share a single kiss or two with a guy was back at the beginning of November when Nathan and I were still a couple.  Anyway, I got a text message the next morning saying, "Wanna make out?" and I replied, "I'm on my way to Mass and I'm pretty sure that God disapproves of that happening in His house."  I hoped that he'd message back, but he never did, so I'm guessing that that's the end of that guy.

 

Even though Iris and I have zero recollection of this, when we got back to our friend's apartment after the bar, we argued for a half an hour over who looked better naked, her fiance, Carl, or a mutual friend of everyone's that I did a little more than make out with a couple times back in college, Trey.  We were both apparently very adamant that our respective guys would win in a "Naked off" but there was no winner.  Except all of our less drunk friends who got to hear about it all.  Ha!

Xavier and More

Okay, I have a lot to update.  After my last post on Monday the 22nd, I was just about to start writing a post about my friend Xavier's party when Facebook e-mailed me to let me know that Nathan had commented on my status.  My heart sped up and my face got warm before I read the innocuous joke.  I hadn't talked to him since New Years', so I was kind of shocked to hear from him--especially because the day before I had changed my News Feed settings to exclude anything from him and Charlie.  Timing is everything.  Anyway, I got over it.  Then he happened to call his youngest brother when a group of us were hanging out at their other brother, Nelson's house on that Saturday night...and happened to call his sister-in-law when Sophie and I were hanging out with her on this past Friday night.  It's like he has a radar for when I'll be around so that I'm forced to remember him.

 

But let's move on.  My friend Xavier had a party with his housemates, so Sophie, Dwight, and I attended along with Marchella and her boyfriend and a few other friends of ours.  These parties are always super fun, with Rock Band going on in one room and flip cup going on in the other.  Xavier and I are almost unstoppable when we're on the same flip cup team, so we carried on that tradition.

 

Xavier recently broke up with his girlfriend of almost a year.  He and I have known each other for almost two years, having met at a mutual friend's birthday party while I was still dating Charlie.  Xavier and I sat talking for a while and really hit it off as friends.  We cemented that friendship later that evening as beer pong partners when Charlie chose not to play with me because he wanted to be on a "winning" team.  Xavier and I demolished him.  Ha!

 

Now that X is single and I'm single and I've written off The Fourth, Sophie decided that I should date X.  I was surprised when she told me that because I've always had a mini-crush on him, but I'm pretty sure that I didn't say anything about it.  Anyway, I decided to flirt with him at the party and see what happened.  I didn't count on Sophie pretty much suggesting to X that he and I should date.  It seemed like after that suggestion got out, everyone seemed to pounce on it.  According to Sophie, X seems a little wary of the idea--we might just really be too different, it could go south, and he saw me and The Fourth together at my party back in February.  Oops?

 

But he flirted with me anyway and at one point told me that I was looking really good that night.  We challenged anyone who wanted to play against just the two of us in flip cup and beat a team of five twice--and then were beaten by a single opponent.  I hit a point where I couldn't drink anymore, so he took over against the other girl, but I had to kiss him on the cheek a few times--for luck, of course.  That girl, our friend Cesar's girlfriend (Cesar is the guy whose birthday party we met at), flat out told him that he should ask me out.  Our friends are not ones for subtlety.  Before I left, we had a long, drawn out hug.  He told me that I should come over and hang out sometime, and I responded that he should invite me.  Apparently they're used to just having people drop in, but I view an open invitation as no invitation, so I wouldn't just come over.  He said that I had his number so I should contact him sometime, but I said that he had mine, too, trying to make it clear to him that I'm not going to do all of the work.  He received that message and I think that he said that he'd talk to me soon or something.

 

Afterwards, I wondered if he was too drunk to remember any of that, but I didn't let it concern me, either.  If he never asked me out, we'd still be friends with no harm done.  At dinner that Tuesday night, I filled Marchella in on things, even though she had been there to witness most of it.  I also discovered that once upon a time she had told the guys that I would only date Catholics or super Catholics or something, which isn't true.  Sure, I'd love to marry a guy who already has the same faith as me, but it's not at the top of my list.  That weekend, X's roommate, Kal, came to Marchella's place to play video games with her boyfriend, Bob.  I was brought up, Marchella retracted her earlier statements about my supposed Catholic-only desires, and Kal apparently went and told X who texted me on Monday night.  He said that there were a lot of rumors going around and that he'd give me a call when he got back from a business trip and that we could sort some of them out.  When he told me that he'd heard that I was a socialist, I texted him back that Bob was a dirty liar and that I'm not a socialist at all--not even close.  That's when I figured that Bob/Kal/X had been gossiping, so I e-mailed Marchella and she filled me in on the above.  And that she'd suggested to Kal that X had maybe missed his shot with me.  I don't know why she said that.

Anyway, he called me on Friday night and asked what I was doing Monday night (tonight).  "Um...nothing," I said, unable to remember if I had anything scheduled.

 

"Wrong, you're coming with us to the Caps game," he said.

 

"Okay!" I agreed automatically.  As if I would turn down a sporting event.

 

He said that there was a lot of stuff going around about the two of us, but that, as he saw it, we're friends and maybe we should just hang out a little more often and kind of see what happens--and that we'd talk about all the rumors flying around.  I agreed.

 

So I got up at the buttcrack of dawn this morning to go to the gym before work just so that I can rush over to the Verizon Center as soon as I get off--and after I change clothes.  Since I need to park at Pentagon City Mall before I Metro over, I also might see if I can't buy a red t-shirt first.  Caps colors, of course.

E-mailing with Sophie

So...without getting too detailed, Nathan might not have a job pretty soon up in Michigan.  From what he and I talked about in the past, if his new job didn't pan out, he would either look for another job up there or he would move back down here and work and probably go back to school.  Instead of writing all this out, I figured that I'd just post the e-mails between Sophie and I:

Lila (9:08am, 26 February 2010):

Yeah, one of my co-workers mentioned it to me yesterday.  I don't want him to move back here.  It's easier to have him up there where I don't have to see him...and so I can blame long-distance on why we didn't work out.  If he moves down here and still doesn't want to date me...I don't even want to think about it.  And it's ridiculous that I should feel this way because we were only together for two months--and we haven't been for three.  But it still makes me sad.
 
Sophie (9:14am):

You think YOU don't want him to move back here?  I assure you that EVERYONE YOU KNOW hopes he doesn't move back here even MORE.  Do not like Sad Lila.
    
Maybe you'll start dating The Fourth anyway, and the entire point will be moot.  While it is true that The Fourth seems equally unsure about his intentions with you, at least he's not "frolicking" around with you to the same degree Nathan was.

Lila (9:29am):

Frick, I just became Sad Lila now even thinking about this crap.  Like close to tears.  I hate that I feel anything for him.  When I heard about this yesterday, I even thought of writing a post, but I didn't want to bring it up to you and Isabelle yet.  Now maybe I will.
    
I wish that he'd been a jerk when we were together; I mean, he was a jerk by making us official and then changing his mind right away, but when we talked and when we saw each other, he was great.  I wish that he'd done a lot of stuff that I could look back on and be thankful that I escaped that mess, like with Charlie.  But it never got out of the exciting and new time period until it was over.
    
Ugh.  With any luck, he'll just find another job up there and stay out of my life.  And hopefully one day, my thoughts.
 
Sophie (9:43am):

Yeah... I know you think he was super great when you were together, and he WAS compared to Charlie.... but no guy who is really so great would leave you feeling like Sad Lila in the middle of a work day, trying not to cry at your desk, just because he crossed your mind.  He WAS being a jerk to you at the end; he made you official, got you to drive 10 hours to get in your pants one last time, and then broke it off.  I know it is more complicated than that, but this is how it appears from the outside.  And when it boils down to it all the hours on the phone and all the crying and all of his excuses don't really matter.  You're eternally optimistic and forgiving and excellent at making excuses for dudes, but there's really no denying that is WHAT HAPPENED.  If he didn't know what he wanted from your relationship he shouldn't have taken things as far with you as he did.  He knew he wasn't dealing with some slut to whom all the physical stuff wouldn't matter.  And if he liked you and wanted to keep his options open with you for the future but wasn't ready for something so long-distance, he should have thought with his brain (not his mini-Nathan) and realized he should cool it with you directly after the beach so that in the future it wouldn't be CRAZY AWKWARD if he ever did live in the vicinity and wanted to date you.  Ugh.  You know things are kind of messed up when your friends FEAR the thought of your ex moving into town because of how crazy it will likely make you.

And now, when you should be spending your time flirting with other boys or pondering the The Fourth situation (which is frustrating but intriguing!), you are going to spend your time obsessing about Nathan.  Un.Healthy.

Lila (10:29am):

Yeah.  So I'm definitely on Team Stay-the-eff-in-effing-cold-Michigan.  I don't want to avoid hanging out with you guys because he'll be around and it'd be hard for me to be normal around him.  I would probably be okay if I wasn't drinking, but when does that happen when we're around those guys?  Ugh.  If he moves here, whatever.  I'll just man up and be cool.  Even if he wanted another shot (which I don't think at all), he doesn't deserve one.  So I just have to get over this mess.  And stop being attracted to jerkholes.

Editor's Note:  "get in your pants" does not mean sex.  Just close to it.

E-mail from The Fourth

From: The Fourth
To:  Lila
Sent:  Thursday, 4 February 2010, 8:33am
Subject:  Good Morning!

Good Morning!

So.  Funny story.  So I had a dream about you last night.

It started out with me asking you out on a date on a Friday.  At first you
said no and then for some odd reason when I was about to walk out of my
office at 3, you showed up to tell me you changed your mind and that I
should pick you up at 7.  I made a reservation at some really nice place.
So I showed up to your house in Crystal City at this really nice apartment
complex and when I got there, the door man would not let me in so I called
you and you did not pick up.  Since I made the reservation, I went and had
dinner.  For some really weird reason, this place was a high end pizza
place.  So as I am sitting there, you showed up on the arm of another guy.
You came over to the table with this guy and introduced him as your
boyfriend.  He was some huge weight lifter guy.  I got really pissed off and
wanted to pick a fight with him for stealing you away but then out of the
blue, my friends showed up and stopped me from hitting him.  You began to
start yelling at me for being la  te to your apartment.  I went outside with
my friends and we thought going to the bar across the street was the perfect
distraction and as we crossed the street, I was the first of the group to
step into the street.  Everyone started to yell and as I turned, I got hit
by a Jeep driven by you!

I woke up from my dream to find out I woke up like 10 min before my alarm
went off so I was screwed trying to go back to sleep!

I know it was random but for some reason, I remembered it!


Okay.  Obviously, there are a ton of things wrong with his dream.  I don't live in Crystal City, I don't live in an apartment, I don't have a boyfriend (weight-lifter or otherwise), and I don't drive a Jeep.  Also, I would never behave so bitchily--well, I probably wouldn't.

I took one whole psychology class back in college, and even though it was specific to children, I'm pretty sure that it's given me the ability to analyze The Fourth's dream.  He's insecure and afraid to ask me out.  But, really, how hard is it just to ask if I want to hang out?

I talked to him on Facebook chat that night and he implied that he's "waiting for the right opportunity" to ask me out and that he might be planning something?  Like some big thing so that there'd be no way that I could say no?

He's still riding that line of The Friend Zone.  I thought that he was in completely, but the proof that he likes me pushed him out a little bit.  Only that was four nights ago.  Tonight we were texting back and forth, as usual (and often enough that Sophie came downstairs to complain that he was lame for not asking me out if he could spend that much time messaging me), and talking about the snow and whether we'd have work tomorrow, etc.  Then he says something about flying down to Florida tomorrow--like, for serious...his sister lives there--and then asked if I wanted to go with him.  I kind of laughed it off and said I'd probably have to work on Thursday, but he stopped texting me after that.  It makes me wonder if he was serious because he's definitely joked(?) about us flying to Florida before.  Oops?  Oh well, it's not like I would have gone if he was serious, but if that was his true attempt at asking me out, FAIL.  I'm not going to the beach with a guy who isn't my boyfriend and prance around in a bikini for him.  Um.  By ourselves.  (Sophie and Isabelle, shut up about Nathan--that was different).

Introspection

Once upon a time, Charlie broke up with me (in February) and I told Ethan about it.  He and I were already buddies, but it was my breakup that had us talking a lot more and it was all because of his friend Kenneth.  Apparently these two have been best friends for years and as soon as I was single, Ethan told me that he had to introduce me to Kenneth and a couple of weeks later he did.  Kenneth came by to have lunch with Ethan, so Ethan called me to come on out to the hallway if I was free.  I already knew that he might be coming by that day and I'd told my co-worker Norah about it, too.  So she saw him when she was walking back to our office from the bathroom and said that he was cute.  I went out and talked to him for several minutes and Ethan even left us alone--on purpose--before he came back and joined in again.  I dazzled Kenneth with my football knowledge and he told Ethan that I was cute as soon as they turned the corner away from me--according to Ethan.  I also thought that Kenneth was cute.

Flip-flop-tastic

Texted with The Fourth last night.  I know, I know; I said that I'd be good and I was.  Nothing flirty for days, I haven't been on Facebook chat, and I wasn't commenting on any of his statuses.  Then he posted a picture of his sister's newborn twins and I commented saying how cute they were.

A few hours later, this is what happened:

The Fourth (10:37pm): Wanna get married and have quadruplets?  Just a thought!  Haha

Lila (10:38pm): This is a mass text, isn't it?
Lila (10:39pm): And quads?  Are you nuts?

The Fourth (10:41pm): Nope.  This is The Fourth's friend.  We stole his cell phone.  He was talking about you earlier and we just thought that we would mess with him and text you.  How are you Lila?

Lila (10:44pm): I'm awesome because my friends are nice enough not to send texts from my phone--so far. ;)

The Fourth (10:45pm): Holy shit.  Sorry!  It's The Fourth.  My friends are assholes tonight!  Sorry to bother you.  I need to go kill them now!
The Fourth (10:46pm):  I am really sorry!

Lila (10:47pm):  Hahaha!  May I suggest tea-bagging?  That'll teach them.

The Fourth (10:48pm):  Oh.  A complete beating is in order!  Tea-bagging would be a good bonus!

Okay...I've tried to write up my thoughts on this all day, but I really can't figure out my own feelings.  As anyone who reads this is aware, I've been trying not to lead on The Fourth and I was actually getting...not freaked out, but anxious that I might have really done it and could potentially hurt or disappoint him.  But I haven't talked to him for a few days and I started getting disappointed when he wasn't in his office as I passed by it.  Then I got those texts last night (and some more that aren't really blog-worthy) and was really excited--I mean, his friend said that he was talking about me! He told me this morning that his phone had an e-mail notification from where I commented on the picture of the babies and that's why his friend decided to message me.  He also mentioned that he and his buddies had taken another friend's phone on Saturday and texted a bunch of his ex-girlfriends to see which would go out with him again.  And they'd texted a picture of another guy's new girlfriend to his ex-girlfriend.  So...they were getting revenge on him.  But...why choose me to message from The Fourth?  I was pretty stoked.

I was thinking about all this today as I walked from his office to mine...and about how I really like talking to him.  Then I wondered what it would be like to make out with him.  A week or two ago I couldn't even imagine it without thinking that it was a bad idea.  Now I can imagine it...and it doesn't seem like a bad idea.

Maybe it's just me being a flake and I'll feel differently tomorrow.  Maybe things are just developing slowly unlike how I usually just jump into things.  Maybe it's because I've written off Nathan and the mental block for other guys has been lifted.  Maybe it's because I generally want what I can't have and he stopped contacting me all the time, making him more desirable.

I don't know what it is.  But I'm pretty sure that Sophie's going to kick my ass for flip-flopping so much.  Hey, Sophie, remember that time when I e-mailed you today saying that you were probably going to get more frustrated with me?  This is what I meant.

Oops?

He's Just Not That Into Me

Sophie and I will attend a book club meeting on Friday evening for He's Just Not That Into You and watch the movie.  I received my copy of the book about five years ago from my cousin Nina and, in her inscription, she referred to it as "The Bible" for women.  Unfortunately for Nina, she hasn't followed any of the advice that the book gives and now she's "forgiven" her cheating spouse, but that's not really a story for today.

When I got home from dinner with Marchella last night, Sophie was nearly finished with the book.  I think that she read it right after I did all those years ago, but she hadn't revisited it since then and I hadn't reread it since more than a year ago when I was unsatisfied with Charlie and our relationship.  The problem is that while the book is great for looking back on past relationships and seeing why they didn't work out, it's hard to apply the common sense logic to current situations because we, as women, make excuses for men and want to believe that they like us.

I started reading it last night and hit the chapter on break ups.  I think that one of the key themes is "It's called a break up because it's broken," (also the title of another book by Greg Behrendt) and it was like a slap in the face as I applied it to myself and Nathan.  My heart broke a little as Behrendt basically told me that if Nathan was that into me, he wouldn't have broken up with me.  Sure, he was into me and maybe if we lived near each other he'd be that into me, but we don't.  And he's not.  Behrendt proceeded to let me know that if I was The One, the 550 miles apart wouldn't matter and we'd still be together, so I guess the proximity thing isn't really an excuse.

While I was Googling the book, I came upon a book outline for Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others a book that focuses on different ways that some women are statistically more or less likely to marry than others.  One thing absolutely stood out to me and made me feel a bit ill; I sent the list to Sophie, so I kind of bet that this same thing stood out to her about me, too.

Women who marry refer to the men who broke up with them as losers. Women who don’t marry often make men who don’t reciprocate their feelings the center of their universe and still speak well of them.

Okay.  I wouldn't say that I make a guy the "center of my universe" after unreturned feelings; I would take that to mean being content to wait for the chance that the feelings will be returned one day and not to accept opportunities from different guys.  In the month and a half that Nathan and I have been apart, I've almost gone out with one guy and made tentative plans with another for next week.  And I've just been generally open.  But I do tend to speak well of guys that have hurt me when I think that there's a chance of "someday" with them...and I have to get over that.  It doesn't mean that I have to speak poorly of them, but I also don't have to excuse them--and they don't deserve "someday" with me, either.  They had their chance already and ended things because they either didn't really want me or they were willing to risk not ever being with me again.  And why would I want to waste my time on guy who has already made it clear that I'm not what he wants?  Anyway, I lean more towards making excuses for the guys than calling them losers (except in Charlie's case--I call him a loser or worse all the time) and I'm going to stop it.  Lila's having a breakthrough.

Despite the sucker punch, I'm glad that I read that chapter when I did.  I'd been toying with texting Nathan to remind him that he forgot about my blanket (or couldn't find it) because I really want it back!  It was a gift and it has kind of "saved" me a couple times when it was super cold outside, just because I always kept it in my car.  Anyway, after reading this I'm not going to bother.  I'm not going to contact him in any way and hopefully he won't visit anytime soon...because it's not a good idea for me to see him and I don't want to have to bow out of plans with my friends just because he'll be there.  He and I obviously just aren't meant to be, which hopefully means that there's still someone else out there who I am meant to be with and it'll be awesome when that happens.

In the meantime, I'll be here.  Dating and blogging away.

And I Thought That Things Were About To Get Boring Again

Just got off the phone with Nick, the friend of Isabelle's roommate that I met at her Christmas party.  I was kind of shocked when I saw his name flash across my cell phone display, but I answered and talked to him for about fifteen minutes.  He reminded me that he had promised that he'd call and hadn't forgotten and I admitted to him that I had kind of written him off at this point.  He said that he'd been busy with Christmas stuff and visiting his parents down in South Carolina, which is an okay excuse but not a great one.  I mean, he could have called or texted anytime if he was really interested.

But whatever.  It's not like things are ever going to happen with Nathan, so I need to distance myself from him--and the best way to do that is with another guy.

Nick and I talked about our New Years' and he told me about his drunken escapades from Friday night (which involved him taking a cab home only to realize that he didn't have his apartment keys.  He had to climb up to his second floor balconey and break a screen to get inside while he was still drunk).  We also discussed our football teams and how my team is done and his will get into the playoffs if they win tonight--I promised I'd root for them (the Jets) because I hate the Patriots (sorry, Isabelle).

We're going to call or text later in the week and see about getting together to hang out.  I'm kind of excited, but I'm not expecting much.  As Sophie reminded me when I filled her in, Nick grabbed my butt, hers, and Isabelle's when he was drunk at the party when we met.  Oh well.  I get handsy when I'm drunk, too.  We'll see if this actually turns out to be a problem.

And, honestly?  I'd rather he be grabbing girls' butts than boys' penises.

New Years' Eve

Okay.  It's taken me a few days to sit down and write about the other night because I've been lazy and parts of the night were embarrassing.  Let's get started, shall we?

Because I'm Crazy

Last night I purposefully stayed off of Facebook chat just in case The Fourth signed on, not that that would have prevented him from texting me or anything. At this point, I don't think that we've talked since Saturday night, so I think that I'm doing pretty well.

It took me a while to fall asleep because I was trying to envision all kinds of different scenarios of how New Years' Eve might go down. In nearly every one, Nathan soooo wanted me again and I was like, "Whatever, dude." Only this is how things will probably go in real life:

We'll see each other and pretend like it hasn't been over a month since we've spoken...or I'll passive-aggressively say something like, "Hi, stranger," to let him know that I know how long it's been since we've talked, but then be really nice to him to make it look like I don't actually care.

We'll joke around here and there, but he'll mostly stick to talking to the guys and I'll whisper secretively and excitedly with Sophie and Isabelle to make it look like there's something going on that he knows nothing about to get him intrigued. Except that he won't notice or get intrigued.

Drinking will commence. The more that I drink, the flirtier I'll become until I forget every grand plan of appearing sexy and cool. Instead, I'll be my drunk self: loud, flirty, stubborn, and handsy. I will absolutely adore everyone around me, including Nathan, even as latent feelings of bitterness start to rise. Clever phrases that aren't at all clever will pop into my head and I'll wait for the first opportunity to use them, no matter how irrelevant they are. Example:

Nathan: I'm going to get a drink.

Me (drunkenly): Better not get beer in case you want liquor later. 'Beer before liquor, never been sicker.' You'll want to keep your options open, after all."

This because the word passed through the grapevine is that he told his brothers that he broke up with me to keep his options open. Now that this has stuck in my mind, I'm afraid that it will come up.

Perhaps I'm going about this incorrectly, though. I mean, sure, I'll be drinking, but who's to say that I can't get him drunk, too? Like, really drunk? Like, drunk enough to not remember any stupid thing that I might say?

I can only pray for a miracle.

I'm The Girl That Rizzo Sang About...A Tease

I suck so bad. Now I'm glad that this blog is called "Poor Decisions" because it is entirely appropriate. On Christmas Eve Eve, I was drinking with Sophie, Dwight, and a few other people at our house. As it got later and I got drunker, I went to my computer and Facebook and decided that texting The Fourth was a good idea. POOR DECISION. It was also after midnight, but I was at the point in my drinking where I had zero concept of time, so it wasn't until Sophie lectured me for leading the poor guy on that I realized that I'd made a mistake. We only texted back and forth a few times, but I felt bad--probably mostly because of Sophie rightfully calling me out on what I was doing.

I didn't hear from him again until Christmas Day when I got a text saying, "Merry Christmas!" I didn't really think anything of it; I meant to send out a mass text of my own saying the same thing later that day, but never got around to it because of celebrating Christmas and not having my phone with me until late that night. That's when I got a text from him wondering if I was Jewish or something and not celebrating the day (because I hadn't texted back). Now...this kind of concerns me. Either he sent out a mass text and everyone but me texted back, or he only texted me. I'm actually thinking that it's the former because this guy practically lives on his phone and apparently texts the day away at work on the weekends (or so he has alluded...he doesn't text ME that often). Anyway, I let him know that I was indeed celebrating, didn't have the phone on me, and wished him a merry Christmas himself. I think we texted a couple things after that, but it wasn't memorable and I don't feel like digging into my cell phone to remind me.

Part of the reason why I didn't text him back originally that day is that I'm trying to back off and get this to a "just friends" thing. I do like him a lot, but I can't help but compare him to other guys--ones that I've instantly lusted after upon meeting them. Discussing this with Sophie, I mentioned that I didn't start talking to The Fourth more than casually saying "Good morning!" passing by his office until I was already with Nathan--and when I'm seriously into one guy, I'm pretty much oblivious to other ones. So The Fourth got placed in the Friend Only zone and I don't know if things would have been different had I been single and on the lookout when we met.

Then he texted me on the night after Christmas; this time we texted back several times and in the midst he asked me if I had gotten a new boyfriend for Christmas. I said, "Nope, but give me until after New Years.'" He replied that girls as hot as me didn't stay single for very long. Then he said that, like, three of his exes married their very next boyfriends after breaking up with him. I said that my last ex (Nathan) told me the very same thing about him, but he only had one example. Anyway, I tried to keep it jokey and not flirty--I don't know how well I did.

I overanalyze everything--and I know it. So I thought long and hard about this thing with The Fourth and this is what I've come up with: Breaking up with Nathan hurt a lot even though it was a really short and long-distance relationship. I thought that we were going to try to stay friends and still talk some on the phone because he had said that that was what he wanted. But it soon became clear that even if he wanted it, he wasn't willing to do any of the work by actually calling me. As soon as I realized this, Kevin entered the picture and completely distracted me from Nathan. When we found out that Kevin was a lying cheat, I started talking to The Fourth more because he's a great guy and is really nice to me. And, sub-consciously, I saw him as someone that I could get to fall for me, regardless of whether that was a good decision for either of us.

And what it really comes down to is that New Years' Eve is in four days and I'm going to be seeing Nathan. I'm not over him, probably everyone realizes it, and I don't know how to act around him. And we're all going to be getting drunk. I have a feeling that December 31, 2009 is going to be a terrible night for me, but an awesome night for the Poor Decisions Blog. Win/loss?

And So It Goes

Never did hear from Kevin last night. Big surprise? Sophie totally called it and now I'm going to be forced to let her screen every guy ever for me. Yikes.

Chatted with The Fourth last night and filled him in on the Kevin sitch. He was also kind of amazed and called him a douche bag. Hell yeah, The Fourth! We also joked and flirted some. I probably should turn it down a notch or two, just in case I don't want this to turn into anything.

Last night I dreamed that Nathan moved back to town to go back to college nearby. But he still didn't want me. Overslept an hour.

Meet Nick

Attended an awesome cocktail party on Saturday night; I knew one of the four people hosting and three other couples there including my roommates, Sophie and her husband, Dwight. Had a couple cranberry-and-vodkas before switching to wine which I kept up with for the rest of the night after driving responsibilities were kindly lifted.

Met a cute guy and had fun talking to him, though I’ve forgotten more than half of our conversation now. This is what happens when you consume too much alcohol, kids. Anyway, Nick and I exchanged numbers and put them in our phones with me letting him know that he would have to call me. After a hug and a kiss on the cheek, he left with some girl “his ride” and I went back to my friends.

“Yeah, that guy has a girlfriend,” Sophie told me once he was gone.

“What?! Are you sure?”

“Yeah, that girl he left with.”

“But he said that she was just his ride!”

“Yeah, and she’s probably going to be riding him later because they’re dating.”

“How does this keep happening to me?!”

Completely bummed, I texted the party hostess, Isabelle, at about 3am and asked, “Did that guy I was talking to seriously have a girlfriend?”

When I left Mass the next morning, I saw a reply from her: “Yeah, but they’ve only been together a couple weeks.”

I decided that that still sucked, but wondered if maybe they were just kind of dating and it wasn’t “boyfriend-girlfriend” yet. Even so, I was bothered by the situation until a couple hours later when I received a phone call.

“He’s single!” Isabelle told me. “I was talking to my roommates and one of them mentioned the girl. I started to say, ‘Well, her boyfriend-‘ when my one roommate interrupted me and was like, ‘What? He’s not her boyfriend. They’re just friends.’ So he’s single!”

I was happy to know that I probably don’t have an invisible sign on me that says, “Guys with girlfriends, apply here.” But that still doesn’t mean that he’s going to call. At least if he does, I don’t have to have the “So was that your girlfriend?” conversation.

In other news, found out that the latest ex, Nathan, will be joining our group for New Years’ Eve celebration in DC. I don’t know how I feel about this. I was fine with our breakup until I heard that he’d told his brothers that he wanted “to keep his options open.” Maybe he just worded it that way for them, but I can’t help feeling a little duped since he gave me a whole list of responsible reasons (long distance, we started out too physically and needed to catch up on the emotional part, etc.). Add to that that he wanted us to try to be friends, so we got lunch on Black Friday and hung out that night with our big group of people…and we were fine…but then he never dropped something by my house that he was supposed to and never answered a text I sent him that Monday regarding it.

So I’m determined to look incredibly hot on NYE and dance and flirt the night away. I might make him my midnight kiss, but that’s going to be the extent of things, despite what Sophie is betting. It’s probably a stupid move to go in with the plan to make him jealous or make him regret breaking up with me, but whatever. I’m not trying to hurt his feelings…just showing him what he’s missing and how it’s going to be (me with other guys) whenever he comes to visit. If I take pleasure in it, so what? Also, I’m kind of in a lose-lose situation; if I dance and flirt with other guys, people will think I’m rubbing it in his face, but if I stick close to him, people will think that I’m not over the relationship. So if I’m going to lose either way, I’d rather look like bitchy than pathetic.

Introduction

I’ve entitled this blog as “Poor Decisions” because it seems that I make tons of them. Perhaps a better title would be “Poor Judgment” but I already have the URL here. So that’s that.

Nearly a year ago, my on-and-off five-and-a-half year relationship ended and I was single right before turning twenty-six. Having outgrown that relationship, I was kind of excited about finding someone new, even though the prospect of dating freaked me out, never having really done it. College was great for meeting people and “hanging out” until you became boyfriend-girlfriend, but I’m pretty sure that the adult world just doesn’t work like that—I’m still figuring it out.

Anyway, recently I got out of a long-distance relationship with Nathan that didn’t even last two months (but that’s a story for another time) and I was bummed because it’s been so hard to find any guys to date, good or bad. Then I met someone and soon realized that I had blog-fodder. Chances are that I’m going to date at least a few guys before I finally find someone worth dating long-term, so why not write about it? I love writing and I love gossiping…and I also kind of love drama when I’m not in the thick of it. So I started writing blog posts before I even created this thing, just to see if I wanted to make a go of it—obviously I decided to do that very thing. This post and the next few are all going to be dated for when I actually wrote them originally and not when I posted them (about a weeks’ worth of posts) just so that everything stays on track. I’m going to start detailing every encounter I have with every single guy that is of any interest to me. So please enjoy—because someone should be getting something amusing out of this.