Introspection

Once upon a time, Charlie broke up with me (in February) and I told Ethan about it.  He and I were already buddies, but it was my breakup that had us talking a lot more and it was all because of his friend Kenneth.  Apparently these two have been best friends for years and as soon as I was single, Ethan told me that he had to introduce me to Kenneth and a couple of weeks later he did.  Kenneth came by to have lunch with Ethan, so Ethan called me to come on out to the hallway if I was free.  I already knew that he might be coming by that day and I'd told my co-worker Norah about it, too.  So she saw him when she was walking back to our office from the bathroom and said that he was cute.  I went out and talked to him for several minutes and Ethan even left us alone--on purpose--before he came back and joined in again.  I dazzled Kenneth with my football knowledge and he told Ethan that I was cute as soon as they turned the corner away from me--according to Ethan.  I also thought that Kenneth was cute.

High School Calling

Received a Facebook message today:

From: Sam
Subject:  Hellooooooooo!

"Just wanted to say HI and see how you are doing.  BTW I still have that crocodile you got for me and the boys fight over who gets to have it every night, so if i didn't thank you enough for it yet, THANK YOU."

Okay, wow.  Just...wow.  I thought that hearing from Chris was "blast from the past," but this is far older.  Sam is a guy that I had a huge crush on my Senior year of high school.  He and I had been friends from around Freshman or Sophomore year on, but I didn't get really interested in him until midway through Senior year...and I thought that he was awesome.  I mean, he wasn't super hot or anything, but he made me laugh and that's all that I really needed.

I've never been subtle when it comes to guys that I like (um, hi Nathan and New Years'?), but I was worse when I was seventeen years old.  I was on a committee for our school's huge charity danceathon and we would receive free stuff from one of our sponsors every once in a while during the planning stages.  I still have a t-shirt, but I don't remember if I still have my stuffed crocodile (except I've always called it an alligator) because I might have given it away this summer if it isn't still in my nightstand.  Anyway, I got two of the stuffed animals and gave him one.

I hung around him most of the night at the danceathon until we wound up sitting in the front seat of his car with the seats leaned back, making out with the windows completely fogged up in the parking lot...while the dance was still going on.  Because I was a committee member, I could come and go as I pleased, conveniently.  Anyway, he was the second boy that I kissed and the first I went to second base with.  I vaguely remember some of what happened because I've tried so hard not to think about it for so long--it was really embarrassing.  I think that he wanted a blow job and I wouldn't do it; he offered to put his hand down my pants, but I wouldn't let him do that, either.  I might have let him, but I was thankfully on my period, so I didn't have to try to decide.

And then...nothing.  I still liked him, but he didn't want to date me.  By this time we had two and a half months of high school left, so he told my "friend" Lena that he didn't want to start something when we were going to colleges in different states or something.  Really, though, as I found out over time, it's because he wanted sex and knew that he wouldn't get it from me.

I didn't hear from him again until about four years ago; he had e-mailed me randomly just to say hi and threw in "gotta go, the baby's crying."  That kind of astounded me.  Now he's married with a five-year old and one-year old because he got some girl pregnant in college.

My reply:

"Oh, that's so funny that you still have that!  I think that I just gave mine to Good Will this summer when I was moving stuff; if I'd known, I could have given it to your boys so that they wouldn't have to fight.

Anyway, I'm doing well; just work and living the life.  It was good to hear from you.  I'm so glad that you have such a nice family.  :)

See you on Mafia Wars!"

Blast From The Past

Friend request and message received today on Facebook:

Hi Lila,

I know we haven't talked in a long time. I still really like you and I hope you are doing well. I'd like to know how you've been and if you're ever in the VA Beach area, call me up and we can hang out. My number is XXX XXX XXXX. Thanks.

-Chris

No kidding we haven't talked in a long time, guy. Over two years, in fact. For good reason.

Backstory: At the beginning of my Junior year of college (August 2003), I met Charlie and started dating him. He set up Chris with my best friend, Sophie. Chris and Sophie had a tumultuous relationship that ended after over a year, right around New Years 2005. Sophie "rebounded" with Dwight (her husband now) and Chris got kind of bitter...which was kind of par for their course.

He kind of fell of the face of the earth for a while when Charlie and I were broken up, but once we got back together, Chris reentered my life and Sophie's. As roommates, we'd decided to throw a housewarming party; he got miffed that we'd invited all of his friends but not him...despite the awkward breakup. So we invited him and he came. And it was just fine. That was November 2006.

Fast forward to July 2007. Charlie and I attended a wedding of our former roommates'. Chris and the other guys were there without dates and I danced with all of them because Charlie would only dance to "good" songs (sigh...you'll learn all about Charlie in the future).

October 2007: Sophie and Dwight get married (yay!) at the beginning of the month. At the end of the month, Charlie and I went back to our college for Homecoming. I stayed with an old roommate and he stayed at his old frat house with Chris and their other friends. During that time, Chris suggested that Charlie "get with" this girl, Beth, who was also visiting and had always liked him. Charlie laughed him off. Later that night, Chris suggested the same thing to Charlie again who told him, "No, I'm with Lila."

That same night was the big party at their old frat house. I attended and spent a fair amount of time talking to Chris, who told me that Charlie was so lucky to have me and that I was a really great girl, etc. Most, if not all, of Charlie's friends liked me so hearing this didn't make me think that Chris liked me. I was also unaware of all the things that he'd been telling Charlie all day.

The next day we all returned to Northern Virginia and I invited several people over to watch football and eat chili. I wanted Chris to come so that he could hang out in the same location with Dwight and Sophie so that things could become less awkward between them. He came and witnessed me flipping out and throwing my watch at a person and at a lamp as the Patriots raped the Redskins--you'd think that this would have turned him off of me, but it didn't.

Because a couple weeks later Charlie was out of state and Chris and I were at a bar for a mutual friend's birthday. Towards the end of the night, he asked me why I had asked him to dance at the July wedding. Warning bells signaled danger to me as I told him that it was because he didn't have a date--and that I'd danced with a ton of other guys there. Then he mentioned how I'd invited him for chili and hung out with him at the party. I don't remember what I said to him, but my mind was going, Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! He told me, "Look, I really like you, but you're dating my good friend." I responded, "And I will be for a long time." Then I got the heck out of there, called Sophie to fill her in on the drama, and called Charlie and told him, too.

That was when we pieced everything together. I never spoke to Chris after that, but he e-mailed Charlie several months later with a half-assed apology. Charlie didn't reply.

Now I've received the friend request and message; he and I used to be Facebook friends, so he must have defriended me at some point because he never deleted his account. Sophie looked and found that he had defriended her as well, so she sent in a friend request. Ha!

After discussing it with Sophie, I accepted the friend request and sent this response:

Hey Chris,

I've been pretty well...mostly working long hours. And Sophie, Dwight, and I are renting a house together, so that's fun...and convenient for when we want to drink together--no driving necessary.

I'll let you know if I'm ever in the VA Beach area, but it probably won't be soon...I don't get down there very often.

Hope that you're doing well, too. :)

P.S. This one guy once took a picture of himself in the bathroom mirror, flexing an arm. The caption on Facebook read, "You should see the other arm." Hi, winner.