Introspection

Once upon a time, Charlie broke up with me (in February) and I told Ethan about it.  He and I were already buddies, but it was my breakup that had us talking a lot more and it was all because of his friend Kenneth.  Apparently these two have been best friends for years and as soon as I was single, Ethan told me that he had to introduce me to Kenneth and a couple of weeks later he did.  Kenneth came by to have lunch with Ethan, so Ethan called me to come on out to the hallway if I was free.  I already knew that he might be coming by that day and I'd told my co-worker Norah about it, too.  So she saw him when she was walking back to our office from the bathroom and said that he was cute.  I went out and talked to him for several minutes and Ethan even left us alone--on purpose--before he came back and joined in again.  I dazzled Kenneth with my football knowledge and he told Ethan that I was cute as soon as they turned the corner away from me--according to Ethan.  I also thought that Kenneth was cute.

Nick's Not Gone?

I wasn't really expecting to hear from Nick again, so I was surprised to get a text message from him on Sunday morning:

Nick (11:48am):  You better be cheering on my jets today! :)

I didn't really know how I should respond because I didn't want to do anything to encourage him.  I mean, this guy definitely isn't right for me.  I also didn't want to ignore him either.

Lila (12:51pm):  Sure thing :)

I rooted for them, but it didn't do any good.  I thought of texting him after the game to say "too bad" or something, but didn't.  There's no need.  I wonder if I'll hear from him again, though.

Nick, Date #1

Since I hadn't heard from Nick since Sunday's phone call, I asked my co-workers, Fred and Tim, if I should text him.  After getting the story from me about how Nick and I had left things a little vague as to who was supposed to contact who (but leaning towards me as the one to do it), both guys said that I should text him.  So when I left work on Friday, I texted to say:

Lila (5:38pm):  I hear that the Jets are favored by 2 1/2 over the Bengals.  Pretty sure that they won because I rooted for them--so you owe me. :)

Nick (5:40pm):  Haha yes it looks like I do!

And a half an hour later texted again:

Nick (6:11pm):  You up to anything fun this weekend

Lila (6:21pm):  I  might be at Isabelle's tonight and I have some things on Sunday afternoon, but otherwise nothing much.  You?

Nick (6:23pm):  Yeah might meet some friends tonight.. That's about it.. You maybe want to go grab a drink tomorrow?

On Saturday evening we met at a restaurant close to my house; he was late by more than ten minutes.  I overlooked that because he was coming from about forty miles away and he apologized profusely for it.  We went to the bar and he bought us a couple of beers and we stood talking for more than three and a half hours and just generally having a good time.  I had three beers, he had four, and we shared an egg roll appetizer that was really good.  The bar was shutting down, though, so he asked if he could follow me back to my place to sober up before the long drive home.  I had already mentioned that Dwight and Sophie were having people over and that there was something going on over there, so it wasn't as presumptuous as it might sound.  Anyway, we went in and several friends were over and about to play another drinking game, so we joined in.

And then he kept drinking.  I was too, a little, but I thought that someone with such a long drive ahead of him should probably stop drinking at some point and he didn't.  Dwight went to bed and some people left until it was just Sophie, Nick, myself, and Nathan's brother, Nelson.  Nelson's wife had already left and he was planning to sleep in the guest bedroom and I was wondering when Nick was going to leave or if he was going to stay at our place.  My basement was a disaster area as it normally is because I never had any intention of letting him go down there, so I didn't even want to offer him my couch.  At this point I was also kind of thinking that he should have made sure that he could get home safely that night because this was a first date and not the time for getting plastered and having to stay the night.

Anyway, we were sitting on a couch together and sometimes he would hold my hand and stroke it or put his arm around my shoulders.  I let him because it was kind of nice and comfortable, but I was aware that this wasn't first date behavior.  He got up once or twice to smoke with Nelson and our friend Miguel before he left, and then he brought out the dip.  DIP.  I mean, he's from Jersey not Georgia!  I decided then that I didn't want to kiss him if it came down to that because GROSS.  Nothing like thoughts of mouth cancer to get a girl charged up.

He also talked about his ex-girlfriend a lot.  A LOT.  I mentioned that my ex was a Patriots fan and I was glad that they lost to the Ravens (sorry, Isabelle!), but I didn't talk about Charlie until he asked me questions and even then I didn't go into too much.  But I know a lot about his ex and about how he still talks to her all the time and even still loves her, though he never thought of marrying her--despite living with her for three years.

I fell asleep a couple of times sitting up next to Nick while he and the other two had deep philosophical existential conversations.  Sophie told me later that he said that he wasn't sure if he ever wanted to get married and that didn't really believe that there's a life beyond this one, i.e. Heaven.  "Lila's gonna hate me," he told her drunkenly while I slept beside him.

Eventually, everyone went to bed.  Sophie and Nelson went down the hall and I gave a blanket to Nick as he laid down on the sofa and I got ready to go downstairs.  "Give me a hug," he muttered and I obliged.  He said something about me being mad at him and I was confused.  "Why do you think that?"

"Because you didn't want me to come downstairs," he replied, still drunk.  I shook my head.  "I'm not mad at you.  I just said 'no.'"  When I was falling asleep he had suggested that we go downstairs so that I could.  At the time I assumed that he intended to sleep on the couch, but now I wonder if he actually wanted to sleep in the bed with me because he then offered to sleep on the floor.  I simply said, "No," kind of nonchalantly.  In retrospect, I wish that I had cleaned up and I could have put him on my couch because Dwight woke up early the next morning and was annoyed that he had to work at kicking Nick out.  Oops.  I felt really bad about that.  Sophie hadn't seemed to have any problem with Nick sleeping there and it hadn't occurred to me that it would bother Dwight--probably because I'd been drinking.  Oh well.  Next time I'll be more considerate.

Nick texted me later in the day to tell me that he had a good time and then told me to have fun at the baby shower I was attending.  I texted back a few hours later when I had some spare time that I had a good time, too.  I don't know if he'll call me again, but I think that he might.  If he asks me out, I'll go again, but I don't really see this turning into a relationship.

Less of a Tease?

I've successfully started backing off from The Fourth.  Pretty much by ignoring him, which makes me a terrible person, but I'm really doing it to save his feelings later.  On the night before New Years' Eve, he texted late to tell me to have a good time the following night; I thought that that was kind of weird because he'd have all the next day to do that.  I didn't respond because I was going to bed and...well, because I didn't want to respond.  The next morning on Facebook I saw that he had written on my wall that he wasn't going to work on NYE and that I should text him when I woke up.  I replied that he was lame (for not working) and that I'd try to text later, but that I didn't want to wake him up then--it was 5:30 in the morning.  But...I didn't text and didn't talk to him again until this morning when I came in to work...so four days.  He texted to wish me a happy New Year right after midnight on NYE, but I didn't respond to that, either.

Anyway, I think that this is good.  When I talked to him this morning, I was friendly but didn't flirt at all or mention guys or dating which could then lead into an unwanted conversation.  The most that I did was mention that I could wear my dress again when Dwight, Sophie, and I host a cocktail party later this month and told him that he should keep the date in mind for it.  I could have had the exact same conversation with anyone.  So...yay for me being less of a tease?

Talked to Ethan this morning about Nick; he said that I should wait until next week to go out with him because he took so long to call.  I might; this week is busier than next anyway.

And I Thought That Things Were About To Get Boring Again

Just got off the phone with Nick, the friend of Isabelle's roommate that I met at her Christmas party.  I was kind of shocked when I saw his name flash across my cell phone display, but I answered and talked to him for about fifteen minutes.  He reminded me that he had promised that he'd call and hadn't forgotten and I admitted to him that I had kind of written him off at this point.  He said that he'd been busy with Christmas stuff and visiting his parents down in South Carolina, which is an okay excuse but not a great one.  I mean, he could have called or texted anytime if he was really interested.

But whatever.  It's not like things are ever going to happen with Nathan, so I need to distance myself from him--and the best way to do that is with another guy.

Nick and I talked about our New Years' and he told me about his drunken escapades from Friday night (which involved him taking a cab home only to realize that he didn't have his apartment keys.  He had to climb up to his second floor balconey and break a screen to get inside while he was still drunk).  We also discussed our football teams and how my team is done and his will get into the playoffs if they win tonight--I promised I'd root for them (the Jets) because I hate the Patriots (sorry, Isabelle).

We're going to call or text later in the week and see about getting together to hang out.  I'm kind of excited, but I'm not expecting much.  As Sophie reminded me when I filled her in, Nick grabbed my butt, hers, and Isabelle's when he was drunk at the party when we met.  Oh well.  I get handsy when I'm drunk, too.  We'll see if this actually turns out to be a problem.

And, honestly?  I'd rather he be grabbing girls' butts than boys' penises.

Meet Nick

Attended an awesome cocktail party on Saturday night; I knew one of the four people hosting and three other couples there including my roommates, Sophie and her husband, Dwight. Had a couple cranberry-and-vodkas before switching to wine which I kept up with for the rest of the night after driving responsibilities were kindly lifted.

Met a cute guy and had fun talking to him, though I’ve forgotten more than half of our conversation now. This is what happens when you consume too much alcohol, kids. Anyway, Nick and I exchanged numbers and put them in our phones with me letting him know that he would have to call me. After a hug and a kiss on the cheek, he left with some girl “his ride” and I went back to my friends.

“Yeah, that guy has a girlfriend,” Sophie told me once he was gone.

“What?! Are you sure?”

“Yeah, that girl he left with.”

“But he said that she was just his ride!”

“Yeah, and she’s probably going to be riding him later because they’re dating.”

“How does this keep happening to me?!”

Completely bummed, I texted the party hostess, Isabelle, at about 3am and asked, “Did that guy I was talking to seriously have a girlfriend?”

When I left Mass the next morning, I saw a reply from her: “Yeah, but they’ve only been together a couple weeks.”

I decided that that still sucked, but wondered if maybe they were just kind of dating and it wasn’t “boyfriend-girlfriend” yet. Even so, I was bothered by the situation until a couple hours later when I received a phone call.

“He’s single!” Isabelle told me. “I was talking to my roommates and one of them mentioned the girl. I started to say, ‘Well, her boyfriend-‘ when my one roommate interrupted me and was like, ‘What? He’s not her boyfriend. They’re just friends.’ So he’s single!”

I was happy to know that I probably don’t have an invisible sign on me that says, “Guys with girlfriends, apply here.” But that still doesn’t mean that he’s going to call. At least if he does, I don’t have to have the “So was that your girlfriend?” conversation.

In other news, found out that the latest ex, Nathan, will be joining our group for New Years’ Eve celebration in DC. I don’t know how I feel about this. I was fine with our breakup until I heard that he’d told his brothers that he wanted “to keep his options open.” Maybe he just worded it that way for them, but I can’t help feeling a little duped since he gave me a whole list of responsible reasons (long distance, we started out too physically and needed to catch up on the emotional part, etc.). Add to that that he wanted us to try to be friends, so we got lunch on Black Friday and hung out that night with our big group of people…and we were fine…but then he never dropped something by my house that he was supposed to and never answered a text I sent him that Monday regarding it.

So I’m determined to look incredibly hot on NYE and dance and flirt the night away. I might make him my midnight kiss, but that’s going to be the extent of things, despite what Sophie is betting. It’s probably a stupid move to go in with the plan to make him jealous or make him regret breaking up with me, but whatever. I’m not trying to hurt his feelings…just showing him what he’s missing and how it’s going to be (me with other guys) whenever he comes to visit. If I take pleasure in it, so what? Also, I’m kind of in a lose-lose situation; if I dance and flirt with other guys, people will think I’m rubbing it in his face, but if I stick close to him, people will think that I’m not over the relationship. So if I’m going to lose either way, I’d rather look like bitchy than pathetic.