Caps Game Cometh

Last night I went to the Capitals game with Xavier, two of his roommates, a girl friend of all of theirs that I've met a couple of times at parties (Dana), and another girl who was the date of one of the roommates (Maria).  I had a lot of fun; I like hockey well enough even though I don't follow it, so it was fun just to be there, but it was made better by it being an awesome game.  X and I talked a lot about tons of different stuff.  Going in, I wasn't sure if this was a friends date or a date date or what, but I think that it wound up being somewhere in between...or maybe a friends date that turned into a real date.  I also found out that one of the reasons why he wasn't sure about asking me out was because Marchella's boyfriend, Bob, apparently fed X's roommate, Kal, a ton of misinformation about me--more than I was already aware of.  I'm mostly amused, but I'll have to see if I can get revenge on Bob somehow.  X let me know that it's kind of unusual for him to date a friend and he was concerned about starting something up with me, having it end badly and then losing Sophie, Dwight, and I as friends (because we're kind of a weird package deal), but then he figured that we're adults and can handle it.  So I guess that's how we're starting things off.

 

Anyway, at some point during the game, X rested his arm on the back of my seat and that eventually moved to my shoulders--which was nice because it was cold in there even though I was wearing a sweater.  Normal stuff.  Actually, the most interesting thing to happen that night was with Maria.  When X and another roommate got up to get more beers, this girl suggested that we steal their seats so the three of us could talk until they came back.  We did and started chatting just as the Kiss Cam came on.  I awwed over it, but Maria pretentiously said that she didn't like how hetero-centric it was.  What the eff?  "Well, it's always a man and a woman," she sniffed self-righteously.

 

I looked at her funny, I'm sure, and remarked that the powers that be would have no way of knowing if a couple was gay or not.  They don't even know if a man and woman sitting together are even in a couple, as evidenced by a guy shaking his head resolutely at the camera when it landed on him and a woman beside him.  I'm stereotyping here, but I don't think that hockey games are exactly a mecca for gay couples.  Then she made a comment to myself and Dana, "If you were girls...oh, well, of course you're girls.  Sorry, I'm just used to speaking in gender-neutral language."  Oh.  My.  God.  If you don't know what gender neutral language is, it's like using "businesspeople" instead of "businessmen or businesswomen."  And it's stupid.  Also, it's unnecessary in a non-professional environment, which this clearly was.  I was quite unimpressed with her, but I still talked to her for another minute or two before the guys came back and we were once again separated by four people.

 

After the game, we split from the guys so that we could all use the bathrooms before we left.  As soon as it was just the three of us girls, Maria turned to me and asked, "Are you going to make out with that boy?  Because you are way too good for him!"

 

"Uhhh, I don't know?" I said, looking at Dana helplessly.  I had gotten the impression that X knew Maria pretty well, but she didn't even remember his name.

 

"Well, you're way too good looking for him.  You can make out with anyone that you want, so you don't have to settle."

 

"Um, thanks?"  I didn't want to be rude and tell her that she was out-of-line, but I also didn't like that she was being rude.  Then she asked Dana if she was on a date with the third roommate.  Dana replied that they're just friends.

 

"Well, you're way too good looking to be with him, too.  Both of you girls are so much better than them."

 

"Do you even know X?" I asked, finally gaining some balls.  When she confirmed that she really didn't, I simply said, "He's a really great guy," and I looked over at Dana as if to say, I'm doing the best that I can here.  What is wrong with this girl!?  I really wanted to pull Dana aside to talk about it, but she and I were never alone for the rest of the night.  After the bathrooms, we met back up with the guys and Maria left with her guy and the rest of us started heading toward the Metro, but decided to stay out and watch the NCAA Basketball Championship game instead.

 

X and I sat together and kind of held hands beneath the table.  After Ruby Tuesdays, we went to the Metro and split up because I was taking the Yellow Line and they were grabbing the Orange.  I told him that I'd had a really great time and he said that he'd see me Friday at my birthday dinner.  Then he kissed me good night and said, "Now go get your train."  And so I did.  Overall, a pretty good date.

 

But what was up with that girl!?

Carson the Law Student

In the second semester of my Junior year of college, Dwight and I took one of the same English courses.  Also in the class was a guy named Carson.  I thought that he was hot, but I was dating Charlie, so I didn't even talk to the guy much.  Fast forward to the first semester of Senior year.  This was one of my "off" times with Charlie and Carson was in another English class with me; he also turned out to be good friends / former roommates with Alex, another guy in the class who I'd done a project with in yet another English class that summer (can you tell that I was an English major?).  Alex and Carson quickly became my class buddies; I thought that they were both hot, but I preferred Carson.  I'm not sure what it was about him, because Sophie thought that he was unattractive, but I lusted after him like crazy.  No matter what off-putting thing he might say or do, I was attracted.  This wasn't the first time that I was attracted to a jerk, but it's one of the more obvious instances.  I'm even kind of afraid that if I ever see him again, I'll still be that attracted because there have really only ever been two guys that I've been THAT attracted to: Carson and Nathan.  Suck on that, Charlie.

 

Anyway, Carson and I hung out a few times at parties.  I attended one at his apartment that fall.  A few friends came with me, but they only stayed about an hour before heading over to a party at Charlie's house (and he definitely found out that I was at another party with a guy, but I don't remember much about that except that I heard he acted jealous).  This left me at a party where I only knew one person--Carson--and the few people that he'd introduced me to.  It was also the first time that I realized that I don't need a passel of friends around me; I simply started talking to a couple girls by the beer pong table, then talked to people on the balcony while I refilled my drink from the keg.  I was kind of proud of myself because Carson didn't have to baby-sit me; I think that he was impressed, too.

 

Later, when the party was dying down, we went to his bedroom and...did stuff.  Not sex and not oral sex (though he asked if I would), but other stuff.  It was fun, I guess.  I spent the night and he drove me home the next morning.  We still talked after that, and he even came to a drama-filled party with me (Charlie's old roommates' apartment and Charlie himself was there) and held my hair back for me when I threw up into a trashcan.  We continued to flirt a lot, but nothing more ever came from it.  I lost touch with him after I stopped using Instant Messenger until one drunken night the subject of Carson came up with Sophie.  She suggested that I just friend him because he'd probably accept the friend request and I'd never hear from him again.  So a week or two later, I did (even though I was sober by then).  I didn't expect to hear from him.

 

Saturday night, I did.  Right as I was about to go to bed, sometime after 2am, he messaged me on Facebook chat.  I was more than a little surprised, but I responded...and we wound up talking until 4am.  Not about anything important, just random stuff.  He's finishing up his second year of law school right now, but I have no idea what he did in the three years between college and going back to school.  I mentioned something about turning 27 soon and he was like, "Your birthday is on Thursday, right?"  As I confirmed that, he typed, "Is it weird that I remember that?" at the same time that I asked, "Did you look at my profile page?"  He claims to have just remembered.

 

Now here's where my lack of lie-dar comes in.  Even though my first assumption was that he looked it up, I'm inclined to believe that he just remembered for two reasons.  First, I have a ridiculous memory for names and numbers and data like that, so why couldn't he?  Second, his birthday is April 19th, so he could have just remembered because the dates are close together.  I'm much better about remembering peoples' birthdays if they're close to my own, so it's a possibility.  Is it far more likely that he looked it up?  Absolutely.  But why would someone lie about that?  Seems unnecessary.

 

Anyway, we left it at it being good to talk after all this time and that we should again.  We shall see.  He and I have very different political views, so I don't think that a relationship would ever work out, even in the short-term.  But I wouldn't mind grabbing a drink and just hanging out.  Maybe he can introduce me to some lawyer friends that DO have similar political beliefs to me.

Xavier and More

Okay, I have a lot to update.  After my last post on Monday the 22nd, I was just about to start writing a post about my friend Xavier's party when Facebook e-mailed me to let me know that Nathan had commented on my status.  My heart sped up and my face got warm before I read the innocuous joke.  I hadn't talked to him since New Years', so I was kind of shocked to hear from him--especially because the day before I had changed my News Feed settings to exclude anything from him and Charlie.  Timing is everything.  Anyway, I got over it.  Then he happened to call his youngest brother when a group of us were hanging out at their other brother, Nelson's house on that Saturday night...and happened to call his sister-in-law when Sophie and I were hanging out with her on this past Friday night.  It's like he has a radar for when I'll be around so that I'm forced to remember him.

 

But let's move on.  My friend Xavier had a party with his housemates, so Sophie, Dwight, and I attended along with Marchella and her boyfriend and a few other friends of ours.  These parties are always super fun, with Rock Band going on in one room and flip cup going on in the other.  Xavier and I are almost unstoppable when we're on the same flip cup team, so we carried on that tradition.

 

Xavier recently broke up with his girlfriend of almost a year.  He and I have known each other for almost two years, having met at a mutual friend's birthday party while I was still dating Charlie.  Xavier and I sat talking for a while and really hit it off as friends.  We cemented that friendship later that evening as beer pong partners when Charlie chose not to play with me because he wanted to be on a "winning" team.  Xavier and I demolished him.  Ha!

 

Now that X is single and I'm single and I've written off The Fourth, Sophie decided that I should date X.  I was surprised when she told me that because I've always had a mini-crush on him, but I'm pretty sure that I didn't say anything about it.  Anyway, I decided to flirt with him at the party and see what happened.  I didn't count on Sophie pretty much suggesting to X that he and I should date.  It seemed like after that suggestion got out, everyone seemed to pounce on it.  According to Sophie, X seems a little wary of the idea--we might just really be too different, it could go south, and he saw me and The Fourth together at my party back in February.  Oops?

 

But he flirted with me anyway and at one point told me that I was looking really good that night.  We challenged anyone who wanted to play against just the two of us in flip cup and beat a team of five twice--and then were beaten by a single opponent.  I hit a point where I couldn't drink anymore, so he took over against the other girl, but I had to kiss him on the cheek a few times--for luck, of course.  That girl, our friend Cesar's girlfriend (Cesar is the guy whose birthday party we met at), flat out told him that he should ask me out.  Our friends are not ones for subtlety.  Before I left, we had a long, drawn out hug.  He told me that I should come over and hang out sometime, and I responded that he should invite me.  Apparently they're used to just having people drop in, but I view an open invitation as no invitation, so I wouldn't just come over.  He said that I had his number so I should contact him sometime, but I said that he had mine, too, trying to make it clear to him that I'm not going to do all of the work.  He received that message and I think that he said that he'd talk to me soon or something.

 

Afterwards, I wondered if he was too drunk to remember any of that, but I didn't let it concern me, either.  If he never asked me out, we'd still be friends with no harm done.  At dinner that Tuesday night, I filled Marchella in on things, even though she had been there to witness most of it.  I also discovered that once upon a time she had told the guys that I would only date Catholics or super Catholics or something, which isn't true.  Sure, I'd love to marry a guy who already has the same faith as me, but it's not at the top of my list.  That weekend, X's roommate, Kal, came to Marchella's place to play video games with her boyfriend, Bob.  I was brought up, Marchella retracted her earlier statements about my supposed Catholic-only desires, and Kal apparently went and told X who texted me on Monday night.  He said that there were a lot of rumors going around and that he'd give me a call when he got back from a business trip and that we could sort some of them out.  When he told me that he'd heard that I was a socialist, I texted him back that Bob was a dirty liar and that I'm not a socialist at all--not even close.  That's when I figured that Bob/Kal/X had been gossiping, so I e-mailed Marchella and she filled me in on the above.  And that she'd suggested to Kal that X had maybe missed his shot with me.  I don't know why she said that.

Anyway, he called me on Friday night and asked what I was doing Monday night (tonight).  "Um...nothing," I said, unable to remember if I had anything scheduled.

 

"Wrong, you're coming with us to the Caps game," he said.

 

"Okay!" I agreed automatically.  As if I would turn down a sporting event.

 

He said that there was a lot of stuff going around about the two of us, but that, as he saw it, we're friends and maybe we should just hang out a little more often and kind of see what happens--and that we'd talk about all the rumors flying around.  I agreed.

 

So I got up at the buttcrack of dawn this morning to go to the gym before work just so that I can rush over to the Verizon Center as soon as I get off--and after I change clothes.  Since I need to park at Pentagon City Mall before I Metro over, I also might see if I can't buy a red t-shirt first.  Caps colors, of course.

Cocktail Party

Once I confirmed that The Fourth was coming to my, Sophie’s and Dwight’s cocktail party last Saturday night, I was kind of excited, but mostly I doubted that anything would change.  When I told a couple of my friends about him before the party, I said he was too afraid to ask me out and one of the girls suggested that maybe I help him out a little.  I refused and I stand by it.  Honestly, I need a guy that I can’t walk all over and if a dude can’t get the balls to ask me out, how is he going to get them later for more difficult decisions?

Once he got there, I seriously didn’t recognize him at first because he wasn’t wearing his glasses.  I have to say that I definitely prefer the no-glasses look; he has pretty blue eyes and they stand out more without the glasses.  I introduced him to some people and gave him a tour of the house.  I don’t think that we were downstairs long before flip cup started.  He was supposed to be on my team, but two of my out-of-town friends wanted to be on the same team (my team) and they asked him to switch.  If I had been less drunk, I might have pointed out to them that he didn’t know anyone but me and it’d probably be nicer for him to stay on my team, but I was drunk enough to not think about it.

So he stayed all through flip cup and did wind up on my team eventually.  He’d sometimes put his arms around my waist and be a little touchy-feely; I didn’t mind.  Actually, I enjoyed it, but that’s not surprising.  I’m very touchy-feely myself when I’ve been drinking.

Later in the evening, Nelson knocked me backwards onto my couch so that my legs hung over the side and he wouldn’t help me up.  The Fourth came and leaned over and kissed me on the cheek, telling me that he had to leave.  “Noooooo, don’t go!” I told him.  Since I’m bossy when I’m sober, I’m even bossier when I’m drunk.  He insisted that he had to leave and said that he’d text me or something the next day.  I think that I said I didn’t believe him and he reminded me that he was the last one to text, so I owed him one.  I picked up my phone right then and sent “Don’t go!” followed by several smiley faces.  Those were unintentional, but I’m still impressed that my spelling and punctuation were correct.

Still standing right there, he texted, “I have to and you need your beauty sleep!”  I was a tiny bit outraged when I read that.  “Are you saying that I’m ugly?!” I demanded, knowing full well that he didn’t think any such thing.  I’ve learned over time that if I start accusing guys of insulting me when they haven’t, they’ll try to make it up to me and right then, I just wanted him to do as I said and hang out longer.  See what I mean about needing a guy that I can’t walk all over?  I’m a bitch otherwise.

He assured me that that was not what he meant, but he still insisted that he had to leave.  He kissed me on the cheek again and I—again—demanded that he stay.  He refused and we went back and forth like that, with him leaning to kiss me on the cheek another time, and then lightly on the lips.  That time I kissed him back, so the next time that he leaned down he kissed me on the mouth a second time and it turned into a real kiss.  Score!  He might have kissed me one more time, but then he said good bye and went to leave.  At that point I was a little annoyed because I wasn’t getting my way and because I really wanted to get off of that couch and in all that time he hadn’t felt the need to help me up.  My friend since pre-school, Keri, helped me up and she started filling me in on what she and The Fourth had talked about earlier in the evening when I wasn’t around.

I figure that you’re getting this fourth-hand; I got it second-hand from Keri, so this would be third-hand if I hadn’t been drunk.  Since I was, I’m a little uncertain of the facts, but here’s what I think she said:  The Fourth told her that he likes me and thinks that I’m cool.  Also, he mentioned how his dad met me first.  I don’t know if this is right, but I think that he said that after his dad met me, he told The Fourth that I was cute and he should meet me.  It’s also possible that it was the second time when I met his dad (after I’d already met The Fourth) that he told him that I was cute and he should go out with me.  Either way, I’m totally stoked that his dad thought that much of me!  Win!  Keri had actually assumed that The Fourth and I were already a couple, so she was surprised when I explained that we weren’t.  She insists that he definitely likes me, though.  Well, duh.  Hasn’t changed the fact that he hasn’t asked me out.

A newly single friend of mine, Xavier, was there and asked me to point out the single ladies.  I pointed out Keri and Isabelle and reminded him that I was single, too.  “Yeah, but you’re out of my league,” he replied.  I shrugged and said, “If you think that, then I probably am.”  I didn’t mean it in a mean way, just that if he thinks that, why should I think any differently?  Besides, what was an appropriate response?  “No, I’m not”?  That would devalue me and I’m not going to do that.  I guess that I could have made a joke like, “You bet I am!” but that would have been kind of mean.  Also, I was still drunk at this point and unable to reason out a thoughtful answer.

I should add that I kind of like that The Fourth didn't just give in when I wanted him to hang out longer.  I should not be rewarded for my bossy stubbornness.

Introspection

Once upon a time, Charlie broke up with me (in February) and I told Ethan about it.  He and I were already buddies, but it was my breakup that had us talking a lot more and it was all because of his friend Kenneth.  Apparently these two have been best friends for years and as soon as I was single, Ethan told me that he had to introduce me to Kenneth and a couple of weeks later he did.  Kenneth came by to have lunch with Ethan, so Ethan called me to come on out to the hallway if I was free.  I already knew that he might be coming by that day and I'd told my co-worker Norah about it, too.  So she saw him when she was walking back to our office from the bathroom and said that he was cute.  I went out and talked to him for several minutes and Ethan even left us alone--on purpose--before he came back and joined in again.  I dazzled Kenneth with my football knowledge and he told Ethan that I was cute as soon as they turned the corner away from me--according to Ethan.  I also thought that Kenneth was cute.

Nick, Date #1

Since I hadn't heard from Nick since Sunday's phone call, I asked my co-workers, Fred and Tim, if I should text him.  After getting the story from me about how Nick and I had left things a little vague as to who was supposed to contact who (but leaning towards me as the one to do it), both guys said that I should text him.  So when I left work on Friday, I texted to say:

Lila (5:38pm):  I hear that the Jets are favored by 2 1/2 over the Bengals.  Pretty sure that they won because I rooted for them--so you owe me. :)

Nick (5:40pm):  Haha yes it looks like I do!

And a half an hour later texted again:

Nick (6:11pm):  You up to anything fun this weekend

Lila (6:21pm):  I  might be at Isabelle's tonight and I have some things on Sunday afternoon, but otherwise nothing much.  You?

Nick (6:23pm):  Yeah might meet some friends tonight.. That's about it.. You maybe want to go grab a drink tomorrow?

On Saturday evening we met at a restaurant close to my house; he was late by more than ten minutes.  I overlooked that because he was coming from about forty miles away and he apologized profusely for it.  We went to the bar and he bought us a couple of beers and we stood talking for more than three and a half hours and just generally having a good time.  I had three beers, he had four, and we shared an egg roll appetizer that was really good.  The bar was shutting down, though, so he asked if he could follow me back to my place to sober up before the long drive home.  I had already mentioned that Dwight and Sophie were having people over and that there was something going on over there, so it wasn't as presumptuous as it might sound.  Anyway, we went in and several friends were over and about to play another drinking game, so we joined in.

And then he kept drinking.  I was too, a little, but I thought that someone with such a long drive ahead of him should probably stop drinking at some point and he didn't.  Dwight went to bed and some people left until it was just Sophie, Nick, myself, and Nathan's brother, Nelson.  Nelson's wife had already left and he was planning to sleep in the guest bedroom and I was wondering when Nick was going to leave or if he was going to stay at our place.  My basement was a disaster area as it normally is because I never had any intention of letting him go down there, so I didn't even want to offer him my couch.  At this point I was also kind of thinking that he should have made sure that he could get home safely that night because this was a first date and not the time for getting plastered and having to stay the night.

Anyway, we were sitting on a couch together and sometimes he would hold my hand and stroke it or put his arm around my shoulders.  I let him because it was kind of nice and comfortable, but I was aware that this wasn't first date behavior.  He got up once or twice to smoke with Nelson and our friend Miguel before he left, and then he brought out the dip.  DIP.  I mean, he's from Jersey not Georgia!  I decided then that I didn't want to kiss him if it came down to that because GROSS.  Nothing like thoughts of mouth cancer to get a girl charged up.

He also talked about his ex-girlfriend a lot.  A LOT.  I mentioned that my ex was a Patriots fan and I was glad that they lost to the Ravens (sorry, Isabelle!), but I didn't talk about Charlie until he asked me questions and even then I didn't go into too much.  But I know a lot about his ex and about how he still talks to her all the time and even still loves her, though he never thought of marrying her--despite living with her for three years.

I fell asleep a couple of times sitting up next to Nick while he and the other two had deep philosophical existential conversations.  Sophie told me later that he said that he wasn't sure if he ever wanted to get married and that didn't really believe that there's a life beyond this one, i.e. Heaven.  "Lila's gonna hate me," he told her drunkenly while I slept beside him.

Eventually, everyone went to bed.  Sophie and Nelson went down the hall and I gave a blanket to Nick as he laid down on the sofa and I got ready to go downstairs.  "Give me a hug," he muttered and I obliged.  He said something about me being mad at him and I was confused.  "Why do you think that?"

"Because you didn't want me to come downstairs," he replied, still drunk.  I shook my head.  "I'm not mad at you.  I just said 'no.'"  When I was falling asleep he had suggested that we go downstairs so that I could.  At the time I assumed that he intended to sleep on the couch, but now I wonder if he actually wanted to sleep in the bed with me because he then offered to sleep on the floor.  I simply said, "No," kind of nonchalantly.  In retrospect, I wish that I had cleaned up and I could have put him on my couch because Dwight woke up early the next morning and was annoyed that he had to work at kicking Nick out.  Oops.  I felt really bad about that.  Sophie hadn't seemed to have any problem with Nick sleeping there and it hadn't occurred to me that it would bother Dwight--probably because I'd been drinking.  Oh well.  Next time I'll be more considerate.

Nick texted me later in the day to tell me that he had a good time and then told me to have fun at the baby shower I was attending.  I texted back a few hours later when I had some spare time that I had a good time, too.  I don't know if he'll call me again, but I think that he might.  If he asks me out, I'll go again, but I don't really see this turning into a relationship.

New Years Via Isabelle

I know, I know. I am way behind on my accounts of that evening. This is partially because I do not have much to write and I felt silly about scribing the details when half of them I don't remember and the other half are pretty insignificant.

I went over to Lila, Sophie, and Dwight's house to get ready. We were jamming out to music, eating pizza, getting beautified, the usual. I was trying to be optimistic about the night because I usually dislike New Years and the pressure it creates to have an incredible time. Also, as you well know, I was the 11th member of the group of married, engaged, and recently ex-ed (Lila and Nathan) couples.

Thank goodness for alcohol!! That made things a whole lot better in my mind. I got to the bar right when we walked in and ordered a jack and coke. Impressed? Thought so. They didn't have any jack, so we did Captain spiced rum. A guy who was standing with me ordered the same. Probably would have been a good time to chat him up about our like drinks, but I was too excited to mentally prepare myself to flirt on the fly.

The group went upstairs where we talked and hung out. There was a bartender who I nicknamed Jim Halpert because he looked just like him from a far. SO cute! I beelined to him for my next drink and when he looked up and into my eyes I saw that he was 12 years old. Okay, obviously and legally he cannot actually be 12 years old, but my goodness he sure looked it. I continued to go to him for my drinks because I thought heck, why not be Mrs. Robinson tonight?! I am already an outcast in my own party. I can seduce a young man if I want.

A friend and I walked downstairs at one point b/c the DJ was playing my song. We danced until the song ended and then decided to go back upstairs. The group continued to talk, drink, eat. At 11:50, Sophie, Dwight, and I went downstairs to find me a man to kiss. It was tough. The whole floor was packed and everyone was wildly anticipating midnight. Sophie spotted a tallish man with very stylish glasses. She yelled, "Him!" I was a little unsure, but I think part of that was related to the idea of kissing a complete stranger. The DJ announced that we had 5 minutes left. Sophie just about pushed me towards the man and I took a swig of champagne and said hello. I asked him if he had anyone to kiss at midnight. He said no. I asked him if he would like to kiss me. He said yes. Then he asked me where. I pointed to the floor and said, "here." And he said, no where do you want to kiss. I felt dumb, but didn't care that much. I pointed to my lips and he seemed a little shocked, but in a good way. He asked me where I was from and I said Arlington. I asked the same question and he said Macedonia. What? Macedonia? Okay...I asked him if that was near Turkey. He was surprised that I knew and wanted to know how I knew that pivotal piece of information. I told him that my brother-in-law is from Turkey. He said that he didn't know what that meant and that he had never understood American relationships. I explained that it meant my sister's husband. Luckily we heard the DJ start counting down from 10 and once we all hit 1, I leaned in and gave him a big kiss. Probably lasted 5 seconds. Not nearly as long as Lila's. I said happy new year and then walked back upstairs with Sophie and Dwight. And then I went to my 12 year old for another drink. I think I was the 1st to greet him with a happy new year because he smiled and returned the sentiment.

We left about an hour later due to problems caused by other guests that were unknown to us at the time.

All in all, it was a pretty solid night. I had a great time before and after midnight, and I had a kiss at midnight. Done and done in my book.

Plus I didn't get roofied or raped, so cheers 2010!

New Years' Eve

Okay.  It's taken me a few days to sit down and write about the other night because I've been lazy and parts of the night were embarrassing.  Let's get started, shall we?

I'm The Girl That Rizzo Sang About...A Tease

I suck so bad. Now I'm glad that this blog is called "Poor Decisions" because it is entirely appropriate. On Christmas Eve Eve, I was drinking with Sophie, Dwight, and a few other people at our house. As it got later and I got drunker, I went to my computer and Facebook and decided that texting The Fourth was a good idea. POOR DECISION. It was also after midnight, but I was at the point in my drinking where I had zero concept of time, so it wasn't until Sophie lectured me for leading the poor guy on that I realized that I'd made a mistake. We only texted back and forth a few times, but I felt bad--probably mostly because of Sophie rightfully calling me out on what I was doing.

I didn't hear from him again until Christmas Day when I got a text saying, "Merry Christmas!" I didn't really think anything of it; I meant to send out a mass text of my own saying the same thing later that day, but never got around to it because of celebrating Christmas and not having my phone with me until late that night. That's when I got a text from him wondering if I was Jewish or something and not celebrating the day (because I hadn't texted back). Now...this kind of concerns me. Either he sent out a mass text and everyone but me texted back, or he only texted me. I'm actually thinking that it's the former because this guy practically lives on his phone and apparently texts the day away at work on the weekends (or so he has alluded...he doesn't text ME that often). Anyway, I let him know that I was indeed celebrating, didn't have the phone on me, and wished him a merry Christmas himself. I think we texted a couple things after that, but it wasn't memorable and I don't feel like digging into my cell phone to remind me.

Part of the reason why I didn't text him back originally that day is that I'm trying to back off and get this to a "just friends" thing. I do like him a lot, but I can't help but compare him to other guys--ones that I've instantly lusted after upon meeting them. Discussing this with Sophie, I mentioned that I didn't start talking to The Fourth more than casually saying "Good morning!" passing by his office until I was already with Nathan--and when I'm seriously into one guy, I'm pretty much oblivious to other ones. So The Fourth got placed in the Friend Only zone and I don't know if things would have been different had I been single and on the lookout when we met.

Then he texted me on the night after Christmas; this time we texted back several times and in the midst he asked me if I had gotten a new boyfriend for Christmas. I said, "Nope, but give me until after New Years.'" He replied that girls as hot as me didn't stay single for very long. Then he said that, like, three of his exes married their very next boyfriends after breaking up with him. I said that my last ex (Nathan) told me the very same thing about him, but he only had one example. Anyway, I tried to keep it jokey and not flirty--I don't know how well I did.

I overanalyze everything--and I know it. So I thought long and hard about this thing with The Fourth and this is what I've come up with: Breaking up with Nathan hurt a lot even though it was a really short and long-distance relationship. I thought that we were going to try to stay friends and still talk some on the phone because he had said that that was what he wanted. But it soon became clear that even if he wanted it, he wasn't willing to do any of the work by actually calling me. As soon as I realized this, Kevin entered the picture and completely distracted me from Nathan. When we found out that Kevin was a lying cheat, I started talking to The Fourth more because he's a great guy and is really nice to me. And, sub-consciously, I saw him as someone that I could get to fall for me, regardless of whether that was a good decision for either of us.

And what it really comes down to is that New Years' Eve is in four days and I'm going to be seeing Nathan. I'm not over him, probably everyone realizes it, and I don't know how to act around him. And we're all going to be getting drunk. I have a feeling that December 31, 2009 is going to be a terrible night for me, but an awesome night for the Poor Decisions Blog. Win/loss?

Blast From The Past

Friend request and message received today on Facebook:

Hi Lila,

I know we haven't talked in a long time. I still really like you and I hope you are doing well. I'd like to know how you've been and if you're ever in the VA Beach area, call me up and we can hang out. My number is XXX XXX XXXX. Thanks.

-Chris

No kidding we haven't talked in a long time, guy. Over two years, in fact. For good reason.

Backstory: At the beginning of my Junior year of college (August 2003), I met Charlie and started dating him. He set up Chris with my best friend, Sophie. Chris and Sophie had a tumultuous relationship that ended after over a year, right around New Years 2005. Sophie "rebounded" with Dwight (her husband now) and Chris got kind of bitter...which was kind of par for their course.

He kind of fell of the face of the earth for a while when Charlie and I were broken up, but once we got back together, Chris reentered my life and Sophie's. As roommates, we'd decided to throw a housewarming party; he got miffed that we'd invited all of his friends but not him...despite the awkward breakup. So we invited him and he came. And it was just fine. That was November 2006.

Fast forward to July 2007. Charlie and I attended a wedding of our former roommates'. Chris and the other guys were there without dates and I danced with all of them because Charlie would only dance to "good" songs (sigh...you'll learn all about Charlie in the future).

October 2007: Sophie and Dwight get married (yay!) at the beginning of the month. At the end of the month, Charlie and I went back to our college for Homecoming. I stayed with an old roommate and he stayed at his old frat house with Chris and their other friends. During that time, Chris suggested that Charlie "get with" this girl, Beth, who was also visiting and had always liked him. Charlie laughed him off. Later that night, Chris suggested the same thing to Charlie again who told him, "No, I'm with Lila."

That same night was the big party at their old frat house. I attended and spent a fair amount of time talking to Chris, who told me that Charlie was so lucky to have me and that I was a really great girl, etc. Most, if not all, of Charlie's friends liked me so hearing this didn't make me think that Chris liked me. I was also unaware of all the things that he'd been telling Charlie all day.

The next day we all returned to Northern Virginia and I invited several people over to watch football and eat chili. I wanted Chris to come so that he could hang out in the same location with Dwight and Sophie so that things could become less awkward between them. He came and witnessed me flipping out and throwing my watch at a person and at a lamp as the Patriots raped the Redskins--you'd think that this would have turned him off of me, but it didn't.

Because a couple weeks later Charlie was out of state and Chris and I were at a bar for a mutual friend's birthday. Towards the end of the night, he asked me why I had asked him to dance at the July wedding. Warning bells signaled danger to me as I told him that it was because he didn't have a date--and that I'd danced with a ton of other guys there. Then he mentioned how I'd invited him for chili and hung out with him at the party. I don't remember what I said to him, but my mind was going, Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! He told me, "Look, I really like you, but you're dating my good friend." I responded, "And I will be for a long time." Then I got the heck out of there, called Sophie to fill her in on the drama, and called Charlie and told him, too.

That was when we pieced everything together. I never spoke to Chris after that, but he e-mailed Charlie several months later with a half-assed apology. Charlie didn't reply.

Now I've received the friend request and message; he and I used to be Facebook friends, so he must have defriended me at some point because he never deleted his account. Sophie looked and found that he had defriended her as well, so she sent in a friend request. Ha!

After discussing it with Sophie, I accepted the friend request and sent this response:

Hey Chris,

I've been pretty well...mostly working long hours. And Sophie, Dwight, and I are renting a house together, so that's fun...and convenient for when we want to drink together--no driving necessary.

I'll let you know if I'm ever in the VA Beach area, but it probably won't be soon...I don't get down there very often.

Hope that you're doing well, too. :)

P.S. This one guy once took a picture of himself in the bathroom mirror, flexing an arm. The caption on Facebook read, "You should see the other arm." Hi, winner.

OMG!

E-mailed Sophie and Ethan after the text messages to get their take. Not much to say except that Ethan (who has a female friend who is currently sleeping with a married political figure) was absolutely astounded by Kevin. That has to say something.

The Fourth and I texted a few times today, too. Nothing too interesting...just some joking around about the Kevin situation. We met up at 3pm to walk to our cars together and, as I mentioned to Sophie, I felt like I was in high school, planning to meet a boy to walk somewhere together. Anyway, I had fun talking to him as usual.

When I arrived at the eye doctor, I was a good twenty minutes early, so I tried going online with my cell phone. Since I don't have an iPhone or anything, this isn't super easy, fast, or reliable, so with about fifteen minutes before my appointment, I went inside. My heart was pounding with nerves...nerves that I'd tried to soothe in the car by saying out loud, "You are Lila Fucking Fowler." That is not my name, but that is what I actually said because Lila Fowler is effing awesome and I couldn't ask for a better role model before going in and facing Kevin.

I looked awesome and I knew it, which did help with my nerves a tiny bit. I went and checked in with the receptionist, saying hello to her and Kevin who was also right there. I was there less than a couple minutes before the receptionist got up and Kevin told me to check my phone. Dutifully, I did so and here is his text:

"So yes. I def have a crush. Tell you what I'm running to arlington after work to scan some film depending on how long that takes maybe we can meet up after...?"

Verbally, I said, "Maybe," but smiled at him. He went and got my sweet new Kate Spade glasses (that I'm never going to wear in public because I'm a contacts girl) and told me that they looked good on me...and that he liked my outfit. Well, yeah, you better, dude, because I look great.

I met with the eye doctor briefly and afterwards went and paid for my contacts. In the office alone, I had been berating myself for not actually saying any of the things that I'd planned to say to Kevin, so when he asked again about going somewhere tonight, I asked about his second car. He said that it was unreliable (then why do you have it?) and that he was borrowing his dad's. Okay. I can accept that.

I wasn't going to bring up the Twitter-girlfriend thing in front of his co-workers, but he wasn't following me out! I was kind of perplexed as to what I was supposed to do. He said again that he'd call me and I went to my car and pulled out of my parking space before I realized that he'd come outside. So I rolled down a window and he asked again if I thought I'd be free later tonight.

"Yeah, I am. Actually, there's something that I wanted to ask you about."

"Yeah?"

"I told my roommate about you and gave her your name...you know...because...well, anyway, she Googled you," I said apologetically.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, and she found your Twitter page." I checked his face for any kind of dawning revelation that he'd been caught, but he just continued to look at me expectantly.

"She said that it looked like you had a girlfriend....?" I said uncertainly. I realized later that I'd done a fair job not being accusatory...which is great and not something that I planned.

"Okay, I don't have a girlfriend," he said. "She might mean Mary? She's a photographer friend of mine who dates my friend Evan."

I asked if he was sure and acted like I mostly accepted this. Then I agreed that I'd go out tonight. Also, Mary is exactly who Sophie and I think is his girlfriend.

Dwight arrived at home at the same time I did; I was disappointed that Sophie wasn't there because I was dying to fill her in beyond the text messages that we were exchanging. Dwight seemed to think that maybe Kevin was telling the truth. I felt a little better, but still not trusting.

Chatting with some friends online, I briefly filled them in and sent the links to Kevin and Mary's Twitter pages. Then we discovered that he'd DELETED HIS TWITTER. He didn't make it private, he DELETED it. Sketchtastic.

Sophie called me on her way home and I started filling her in--midway, we were interrupted by Kevin calling. I was going to ignore it and call him back, but she insisted that I take it. He apologized for the weirdness earlier and said again that he definitely wasn't dating Mary and that they were just close friends and had been for a long time. I don't think that I believe him. Anyway, I still agreed to hang out tonight if we can make it happen. I said that I have to be in kind of early--between 9:30 and 10:00--because I need to get to work at about 5:30am tomorrow.

Sophie and I talked again until she got home and came downstairs to my living room. I showed her how his Twitter was gone and then we tried Facebook stalking. Now...I'd found his Facebook on the first night we met when I typed his e-mail address (that he'd given me) into the search and it returned his private account. I couldn't see anything but his name and photo and I didn't friend him, expecting that he might do that later. Today when I typed in his e-mail, nothing came up. That's right. HE DELETED HIS FACEBOOK.

If that's not creepy, I don't know what is. Dwight pointed out that Kevin could have just gotten really sketched out at Sophie stalking him. Maybe.

Anyway...the time is now 8:22pm and I just saw him sign on and off of Instant Messenger. I am invisible to him....But...he was supposed to call me about a half an hour ago to see if I still wanted to get together tonight. What am I supposed to think now?! Perhaps he realized that he just needs to cut his losses and get out now...hoping that I won't tell his girlfriend?

Stay tuned.

Meet Nick

Attended an awesome cocktail party on Saturday night; I knew one of the four people hosting and three other couples there including my roommates, Sophie and her husband, Dwight. Had a couple cranberry-and-vodkas before switching to wine which I kept up with for the rest of the night after driving responsibilities were kindly lifted.

Met a cute guy and had fun talking to him, though I’ve forgotten more than half of our conversation now. This is what happens when you consume too much alcohol, kids. Anyway, Nick and I exchanged numbers and put them in our phones with me letting him know that he would have to call me. After a hug and a kiss on the cheek, he left with some girl “his ride” and I went back to my friends.

“Yeah, that guy has a girlfriend,” Sophie told me once he was gone.

“What?! Are you sure?”

“Yeah, that girl he left with.”

“But he said that she was just his ride!”

“Yeah, and she’s probably going to be riding him later because they’re dating.”

“How does this keep happening to me?!”

Completely bummed, I texted the party hostess, Isabelle, at about 3am and asked, “Did that guy I was talking to seriously have a girlfriend?”

When I left Mass the next morning, I saw a reply from her: “Yeah, but they’ve only been together a couple weeks.”

I decided that that still sucked, but wondered if maybe they were just kind of dating and it wasn’t “boyfriend-girlfriend” yet. Even so, I was bothered by the situation until a couple hours later when I received a phone call.

“He’s single!” Isabelle told me. “I was talking to my roommates and one of them mentioned the girl. I started to say, ‘Well, her boyfriend-‘ when my one roommate interrupted me and was like, ‘What? He’s not her boyfriend. They’re just friends.’ So he’s single!”

I was happy to know that I probably don’t have an invisible sign on me that says, “Guys with girlfriends, apply here.” But that still doesn’t mean that he’s going to call. At least if he does, I don’t have to have the “So was that your girlfriend?” conversation.

In other news, found out that the latest ex, Nathan, will be joining our group for New Years’ Eve celebration in DC. I don’t know how I feel about this. I was fine with our breakup until I heard that he’d told his brothers that he wanted “to keep his options open.” Maybe he just worded it that way for them, but I can’t help feeling a little duped since he gave me a whole list of responsible reasons (long distance, we started out too physically and needed to catch up on the emotional part, etc.). Add to that that he wanted us to try to be friends, so we got lunch on Black Friday and hung out that night with our big group of people…and we were fine…but then he never dropped something by my house that he was supposed to and never answered a text I sent him that Monday regarding it.

So I’m determined to look incredibly hot on NYE and dance and flirt the night away. I might make him my midnight kiss, but that’s going to be the extent of things, despite what Sophie is betting. It’s probably a stupid move to go in with the plan to make him jealous or make him regret breaking up with me, but whatever. I’m not trying to hurt his feelings…just showing him what he’s missing and how it’s going to be (me with other guys) whenever he comes to visit. If I take pleasure in it, so what? Also, I’m kind of in a lose-lose situation; if I dance and flirt with other guys, people will think I’m rubbing it in his face, but if I stick close to him, people will think that I’m not over the relationship. So if I’m going to lose either way, I’d rather look like bitchy than pathetic.