I'm The Girl That Rizzo Sang About...A Tease

I suck so bad. Now I'm glad that this blog is called "Poor Decisions" because it is entirely appropriate. On Christmas Eve Eve, I was drinking with Sophie, Dwight, and a few other people at our house. As it got later and I got drunker, I went to my computer and Facebook and decided that texting The Fourth was a good idea. POOR DECISION. It was also after midnight, but I was at the point in my drinking where I had zero concept of time, so it wasn't until Sophie lectured me for leading the poor guy on that I realized that I'd made a mistake. We only texted back and forth a few times, but I felt bad--probably mostly because of Sophie rightfully calling me out on what I was doing.

I didn't hear from him again until Christmas Day when I got a text saying, "Merry Christmas!" I didn't really think anything of it; I meant to send out a mass text of my own saying the same thing later that day, but never got around to it because of celebrating Christmas and not having my phone with me until late that night. That's when I got a text from him wondering if I was Jewish or something and not celebrating the day (because I hadn't texted back). Now...this kind of concerns me. Either he sent out a mass text and everyone but me texted back, or he only texted me. I'm actually thinking that it's the former because this guy practically lives on his phone and apparently texts the day away at work on the weekends (or so he has alluded...he doesn't text ME that often). Anyway, I let him know that I was indeed celebrating, didn't have the phone on me, and wished him a merry Christmas himself. I think we texted a couple things after that, but it wasn't memorable and I don't feel like digging into my cell phone to remind me.

Part of the reason why I didn't text him back originally that day is that I'm trying to back off and get this to a "just friends" thing. I do like him a lot, but I can't help but compare him to other guys--ones that I've instantly lusted after upon meeting them. Discussing this with Sophie, I mentioned that I didn't start talking to The Fourth more than casually saying "Good morning!" passing by his office until I was already with Nathan--and when I'm seriously into one guy, I'm pretty much oblivious to other ones. So The Fourth got placed in the Friend Only zone and I don't know if things would have been different had I been single and on the lookout when we met.

Then he texted me on the night after Christmas; this time we texted back several times and in the midst he asked me if I had gotten a new boyfriend for Christmas. I said, "Nope, but give me until after New Years.'" He replied that girls as hot as me didn't stay single for very long. Then he said that, like, three of his exes married their very next boyfriends after breaking up with him. I said that my last ex (Nathan) told me the very same thing about him, but he only had one example. Anyway, I tried to keep it jokey and not flirty--I don't know how well I did.

I overanalyze everything--and I know it. So I thought long and hard about this thing with The Fourth and this is what I've come up with: Breaking up with Nathan hurt a lot even though it was a really short and long-distance relationship. I thought that we were going to try to stay friends and still talk some on the phone because he had said that that was what he wanted. But it soon became clear that even if he wanted it, he wasn't willing to do any of the work by actually calling me. As soon as I realized this, Kevin entered the picture and completely distracted me from Nathan. When we found out that Kevin was a lying cheat, I started talking to The Fourth more because he's a great guy and is really nice to me. And, sub-consciously, I saw him as someone that I could get to fall for me, regardless of whether that was a good decision for either of us.

And what it really comes down to is that New Years' Eve is in four days and I'm going to be seeing Nathan. I'm not over him, probably everyone realizes it, and I don't know how to act around him. And we're all going to be getting drunk. I have a feeling that December 31, 2009 is going to be a terrible night for me, but an awesome night for the Poor Decisions Blog. Win/loss?

Demonstrating Value

Still no word from Kevin! Omg, shocker. But now I'm worried that my glasses prescription is off and I don't know what to do. I can't go back there!

Sophie stalked him some more and discovered that he changed the name of his Twitter account and imported all the information there. I think that that is even weirder than deleting it completely.

Went to Costco after work and the guy handing out free olive samples hit on me. Luckily, other people came up in time for me to get away without exchanging phone numbers, which is what he was aiming for. Creepy!!! But it would have been my fourth phone number in nine days. That...is ridiculous. College was never even that good to me!

Wait. Is it good if I only actually like one of the four?

Speaking of The Fourth, he and I texted a couple times today, but that was it. I'm a little disappointed. But because I baked cookies tonight for work tomorrow, I'm going to bring some by to him...so he can see that my butterscotch cookies are the best things in the world. You know...just in case I decide that I want this to go somewhere...if he wants it to go somewhere. I'm demonstrating my value a la the D.E.N.N.I.S. System.

And So It Goes

Never did hear from Kevin last night. Big surprise? Sophie totally called it and now I'm going to be forced to let her screen every guy ever for me. Yikes.

Chatted with The Fourth last night and filled him in on the Kevin sitch. He was also kind of amazed and called him a douche bag. Hell yeah, The Fourth! We also joked and flirted some. I probably should turn it down a notch or two, just in case I don't want this to turn into anything.

Last night I dreamed that Nathan moved back to town to go back to college nearby. But he still didn't want me. Overslept an hour.

OMG!

E-mailed Sophie and Ethan after the text messages to get their take. Not much to say except that Ethan (who has a female friend who is currently sleeping with a married political figure) was absolutely astounded by Kevin. That has to say something.

The Fourth and I texted a few times today, too. Nothing too interesting...just some joking around about the Kevin situation. We met up at 3pm to walk to our cars together and, as I mentioned to Sophie, I felt like I was in high school, planning to meet a boy to walk somewhere together. Anyway, I had fun talking to him as usual.

When I arrived at the eye doctor, I was a good twenty minutes early, so I tried going online with my cell phone. Since I don't have an iPhone or anything, this isn't super easy, fast, or reliable, so with about fifteen minutes before my appointment, I went inside. My heart was pounding with nerves...nerves that I'd tried to soothe in the car by saying out loud, "You are Lila Fucking Fowler." That is not my name, but that is what I actually said because Lila Fowler is effing awesome and I couldn't ask for a better role model before going in and facing Kevin.

I looked awesome and I knew it, which did help with my nerves a tiny bit. I went and checked in with the receptionist, saying hello to her and Kevin who was also right there. I was there less than a couple minutes before the receptionist got up and Kevin told me to check my phone. Dutifully, I did so and here is his text:

"So yes. I def have a crush. Tell you what I'm running to arlington after work to scan some film depending on how long that takes maybe we can meet up after...?"

Verbally, I said, "Maybe," but smiled at him. He went and got my sweet new Kate Spade glasses (that I'm never going to wear in public because I'm a contacts girl) and told me that they looked good on me...and that he liked my outfit. Well, yeah, you better, dude, because I look great.

I met with the eye doctor briefly and afterwards went and paid for my contacts. In the office alone, I had been berating myself for not actually saying any of the things that I'd planned to say to Kevin, so when he asked again about going somewhere tonight, I asked about his second car. He said that it was unreliable (then why do you have it?) and that he was borrowing his dad's. Okay. I can accept that.

I wasn't going to bring up the Twitter-girlfriend thing in front of his co-workers, but he wasn't following me out! I was kind of perplexed as to what I was supposed to do. He said again that he'd call me and I went to my car and pulled out of my parking space before I realized that he'd come outside. So I rolled down a window and he asked again if I thought I'd be free later tonight.

"Yeah, I am. Actually, there's something that I wanted to ask you about."

"Yeah?"

"I told my roommate about you and gave her your name...you know...because...well, anyway, she Googled you," I said apologetically.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, and she found your Twitter page." I checked his face for any kind of dawning revelation that he'd been caught, but he just continued to look at me expectantly.

"She said that it looked like you had a girlfriend....?" I said uncertainly. I realized later that I'd done a fair job not being accusatory...which is great and not something that I planned.

"Okay, I don't have a girlfriend," he said. "She might mean Mary? She's a photographer friend of mine who dates my friend Evan."

I asked if he was sure and acted like I mostly accepted this. Then I agreed that I'd go out tonight. Also, Mary is exactly who Sophie and I think is his girlfriend.

Dwight arrived at home at the same time I did; I was disappointed that Sophie wasn't there because I was dying to fill her in beyond the text messages that we were exchanging. Dwight seemed to think that maybe Kevin was telling the truth. I felt a little better, but still not trusting.

Chatting with some friends online, I briefly filled them in and sent the links to Kevin and Mary's Twitter pages. Then we discovered that he'd DELETED HIS TWITTER. He didn't make it private, he DELETED it. Sketchtastic.

Sophie called me on her way home and I started filling her in--midway, we were interrupted by Kevin calling. I was going to ignore it and call him back, but she insisted that I take it. He apologized for the weirdness earlier and said again that he definitely wasn't dating Mary and that they were just close friends and had been for a long time. I don't think that I believe him. Anyway, I still agreed to hang out tonight if we can make it happen. I said that I have to be in kind of early--between 9:30 and 10:00--because I need to get to work at about 5:30am tomorrow.

Sophie and I talked again until she got home and came downstairs to my living room. I showed her how his Twitter was gone and then we tried Facebook stalking. Now...I'd found his Facebook on the first night we met when I typed his e-mail address (that he'd given me) into the search and it returned his private account. I couldn't see anything but his name and photo and I didn't friend him, expecting that he might do that later. Today when I typed in his e-mail, nothing came up. That's right. HE DELETED HIS FACEBOOK.

If that's not creepy, I don't know what is. Dwight pointed out that Kevin could have just gotten really sketched out at Sophie stalking him. Maybe.

Anyway...the time is now 8:22pm and I just saw him sign on and off of Instant Messenger. I am invisible to him....But...he was supposed to call me about a half an hour ago to see if I still wanted to get together tonight. What am I supposed to think now?! Perhaps he realized that he just needs to cut his losses and get out now...hoping that I won't tell his girlfriend?

Stay tuned.

More Texting Games

Text messages:

Kevin (7:17am): I have to cancel dinner my cars alternator died last night and I don’t have a car for a day or so

Me (8:37am): That’s fine. Sorry about your car. L

Kevin (8:42am): Yeh, merry Christmas to me…. L that’ll be $500

Me (8:54am): Bummer L

After this I realized that last week he told me that he owns two cars. Um, what?

Texting Games

At dinner with my friend Marchella last night, I filled her in on all that’s going on with Kevin.

“So maybe I should text him first?” I asked uncertainly. After all, I don’t really want to encourage this guy…or play into his hand. “I’d like to be like, ‘Here’s your text…but don’t expect this kind of thing because I’m not clingy.’”

"Yes, absolutely you should. Throw down a freak flag. It won't matter since you don't want to date him. Just take a picture of something random and be like, 'This reminded me of you.' Then you've texted him first, but it's more of a 'WTF?' than flirtatious."

Before I left Panera, I took a picture of the light fixture above our table and texted it to him with the question “Where am I?” He didn’t text back. Maybe he was with his girlfriend? Is that more likely than him being weirded out by the text? I feel like he can’t be too weirded out since, on the first night I met him, he texted me a picture that he took of himself with the caption “Cuteeee”. Hi, arrogant.

Marchella also advised me to not reply to any reply that I might receive until this morning when I woke up, but that was unnecessary since I didn’t actually hear back. I was going to comply, though.

So I didn’t talk to him, but The Fourth Facebook chatted me! Over about an hour’s time, he teased me about tonight’s potential date, we talked about our jobs and how he wants to eventually give up his current one to be a geometry teacher, and somehow he worked in how he knows how much he should be asking for raise-wise because he’s “likethis” with his HR person and his old boss who still oversees things—and gives her shoulder massages. I asked if that wasn’t sexual harassment and he admitted that it would be if she didn’t like it. Somehow this led to the suggestion that we hang out some weekend and he could give me one. I might have encouraged this. Whoops?

Because I’ve had to come into work much earlier than normal this week, I haven’t seen him like I usually do so, unless he gets off work early today, we’re going to meet at 3pm and walk to our cars together or something. He also asked for my number so that he could text me. That makes three numbers that I’ve received in one week. I’m kind of on fire. I’m also a little concerned; I like this guy, but I don’t know if I like him as more than a friend. And I know that girls usually use the “I don’t want to ruin the friendship” thing when they just don’t want to date a guy, but I’d be bummed if I didn’t get to talk to him in the mornings before work. So I actually don’t want to ruin things. Playing this one by ear, I guess.

Also, he went to high school with two other guys that I dated back during college. He said, “I think you dated my senior class!” My parents would be so disappointed—they went to his rival high school.

And...Pretty Sure He Has A Girlfriend

On the way to see a movie last night, I Google-stalked Kevin’s twitter to see if there were any updates so I could better determine if the girl is his girlfriend. Status: confirmed. She tweeted at him referring to him as her “boyfriend.”

He instant messaged me as soon as he signed on last night, shortly after I got home from the movie. “I take it that u’re not interested.”

“Why is that?” I asked, starting to get an inkling of where this was going.

“idk, u never call/text me” Ugh. I detest the use of “u” for “you” and he’d done it twice, now. Come on, guy, I told you that I was an editor! Shouldn’t you know that I’m going to judge “u”???

“You said last night that you were going to text ME,” I responded. “And I’ve just been at a movie for the last few hours.”

He typed back, “I’d still like to hear from you, though.”

I was annoyed. I mean, I’d already established that he has a girlfriend and now he was getting on me about not contacting him enough? Then I realized that this was his game: come on strong, back off, and accuse the girl of not being into it so that she’ll start chasing. Oh, you picked the wrong girl to mess with, guy.

I was kind of torn. I could either do what he wanted or let him back off and ensure that the date(s) never happened. Because, oh yes, we have a date scheduled for tomorrow after my follow-up appointment. So I tried to engage him in conversation a little, but not overly. When I commented that he was now the one who wasn’t talkative, he said that he was editing photos. I said, “Oh, okay,” expecting him to message when he was done. He didn’t. I didn’t care except for how awkward this might make things on Wednesday. I wonder if we still have a date.

Around the same time as this, my friend The Fourth put up on his Facebook status, “Don’t make someone your priority when your only there option.” Now, the improper uses of “your” and “there” aside, I like this guy a lot, so I messaged him to say that his statuses recently made him seem kind of bummed out. He said that he was fine, but that girls sucked sometimes. I agreed that I also hate girls (well, I kind of do. Sometimes) and when he was done telling me that I didn’t need to kick anyone’s butt for him (he said that he couldn’t afford the $1000 bail and I questioned how he knew exactly how much that would be), I told him about my issue with Kevin. He was amazed at the situation, but amused that it was my optician. He asked who could blame the guy for seeing my beautiful eyes and forgetting about his girlfriend. “Aww,” I wrote, “…are you complimenting my eyes???” He said that my smile was even better and I was pleased (who wouldn’t be?) that he and the other guys he works with (so he says) think so. Score! Maybe he was trying to make me feel better about Kevin, but I don’t care.

He suggested that I tell the girlfriend where Kevin and I are supposed to have dinner so that she can bust him. I almost want to do that…but only if I can have friends in the same restaurant watching. Maybe taping for Youtube.

Uncertainty

Came in early for work to find The Fourth already in his office, so I went in and wound up sitting in front of his desk talking to him for a half hour, completely eliminating the extra time I was trying to put in for the week. I learned more about his job as we gossiped about different high-ups that he knows because of his position. I kind of wish that he was interested in me, but I can’t say why. I think that I just need to accept that most fun and friendly single guys are just going to be friends and not potential dates.

Am I absolutely crazy to think that maybe Kevin isn’t lying? Probably. I talked to him for a while on the phone and then much longer online afterwards last night and we scheduled a date for Wednesday night…and I’ve agreed that I’ll model for him on a later date. I kind of want to keep this up so that I can get those pictures. They’d be pretty sweet, I bet.

It’s weird. I know that when I like a guy, I kind of only see / look for the good things. That’s just my nature and it’s really not going to change anytime soon. But I think that I generally have good instincts when it comes to people—or maybe I don’t and I’ve just been lucky to come across nice people. But I’ve always thought that I could sense when I was being lied to—and I just don’t know this time. If Sophie hadn’t looked him up and told me what she’d found, I’d be super stoked right now. He’s not really my type—not that I have a type—but he’s interesting and we share enough likes / dislikes for me to consider it.

But this girlfriend thing? I don’t know. What if Ethan is right and maybe the girl is just holding on? And he actually is single…or just about to be?

Here’s the problem: if I ask him, I have to reveal what Sophie did. And, what if he lies to me again? If it sounded genuine, I would probably believe him (and still twitter-stalk him) and then where would I be?

This will probably be better anyway…I’m going to be all elusive and, therefore, more interesting. At least that’s the plan.

Late Add: Sophie has informed me that I have zero sense of when someone’s lying and that I believe everything that any guy ever tells me. After several minutes looking back, I realize that she is absolutely right. I have no lie-dar.

More Boys

I talked to Kevin for about six minutes on the phone last night. I was super tired from a 10 ½ hour work day and a lack of sleep and I wasn’t my normal cheery self—not that he knows what’s normal for me yet. He said that I sounded kind of out of it and asked if he could call me tonight. I said he could and didn’t mention that part of the reason why I sounded “out of it” was that I strongly suspected that he had a girlfriend and had lied to me about it. Anyway, after a talk this morning with my buddy Ethan, I’ve decided to let Jon keep pursuing me. Usually I jump into things too quickly, but this time I won’t because I don’t think that I can trust him. And if I ever want to end things or something, I can bring up the girlfriend thing.

I hope that I’m not starting down a slippery slope.

My buddy, The Fourth, so-called because of the IV at the end of his name, works in my building and we’ve struck up a friendship. I’m still not quite sure how he got my last name to friend me on Facebook a while back, but it could have been from my badge or from his father who works in the same agency as me. Even so, he and I get along really well together even though we only talk in the mornings when I pass by his office. His Facebook status update last night said that he’d had the worst day ever and something about nonspecific people driving him crazy. I commented that I know a guy like that who works in my building and is always saying “good morning” or “hello” and how that’s so annoying. He commented back that he knows that guy (himself) and thinks he’s the worst. So we continued to joke about how much we hate him and how he needs to be dropkicked. Then we chatted on Facebook chat; I’d never actually done this before because I’m always afraid this one guy will see that I’m on and message me.

Sure enough, while I cheered up The Fourth, Stalker guy (Dawson) messaged me, too. I met this guy at a club back in February, I think, right after Charlie and I broke up. This guy hunted me down on Facebook and often wrote on my wall and e-mailed me, creeping me out. I don’t like when guys come on strong and I definitely don’t like babies who are three years younger than me doing it. Anyway, I made polite-but-distant chitchat with him while The Fourth and I laughed it up. He’s a stellar guy (The Fourth) and I wouldn’t mind hanging out with him outside of work—as friends. Or maybe not even as just friends, but I think friends would be better…and safer.

Let's Meet Kevin

Yesterday evening I met a guy at my eye doctor appointment—the optician (we’ll call him Kevin), which I guess is the person in charge of glasses, since that’s what he helped me choose after I saw the doctor. Anyway, he was tall and charming and friendly as he did my preliminary exam, but not really flirty. At first. The more that we talked as he took pictures of my eyeballs, the friendlier and dare I say flirtier he became (“You have large eyes.” “I knowwwww.” “No, it’s a good thing!”) Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best example. I’m actually a person who abhors flattery, though I love compliments. I just hate lies, period, so if someone compliments me on something that I don’t really agree with, I’m kind of turned off. There are four main aspects of my outer appearance that I know are pretty good: my eyes, my smile, my hair, and my butt. So a compliment on my eyes I am more than willing to accept graciously.

Anyway, we joked around a lot until he left and the eye doctor came in. I considered asking her if he was single, but I didn’t. In retrospect, I kind of wished that I did. Anyway, she was great and in no time I was out picking out glasses with Kevin…and flirting a lot. Now this was going both ways, but I let him pick out pairs that he thought would look good on me since he told me that it was his job and that as a professional photographer he had an eye for this sort of thing. I actually really didn’t want to pick them out just by myself so this was a lot more efficient and I wound up with a great pair from probably about ten that he had me try on.

He took forever to write up the invoice. He was doing it on purpose so that I’d stay and talk longer, I’m sure. I was wittier than normal and obviously he was interested in me. We started talking about sports and he brought up hockey. I said that I liked the sport, but never really got to go to games. He said that we should go to one and I agreed before he told me that he had season tickets to the Capitals and this could actually happen. We exchanged contact information, I made a follow-up appointment with the doctor (trying out new contact lenses) and left. He texted me right away and then we wound up talking on the phone for a half an hour later that night (after setting up a date for the Capitals game on December 23^rd) and then we chatted online for a long time. He made it clear that he was single because the words, “Yeah, I’m single,” came out of his mouth. Can’t get much clearer than that, right?

So I was in new-crush-bliss all night and this morning until I gave his name to my roommate, Sophie, and she Google-stalked him. I’m aware that Googling someone is pretty acceptable nowadays, but it’s still embarrassing. Besides, he’d given me the links to his photo account and his never-updated-anymore blog, so what was there for him to hide?

Answer: A GIRLFRIEND. Well. We’re not 100% positive, but Sophie found his twitter (and it’s definitely him, no question of that) and there are tweets to and from a girl…and if he’s not dating her, he must have been very recently. Like a week ago. So I’m trying to hold out judgment, but what the eff? I had such a good feeling about this guy and now…not so much. I don’t understand why someone would lie about being single, though. Why commit to someone if you’re not serious? Ugh. Whatever. Maybe he is single. I hope so.