09 June 2010

Just A Dinner

So to review, last Friday Brian texted me asking me if I wanted to get dinner with him Sunday night. I had suggested coffee during our previous conversation, so he umped the ante a bit. I was also a little scared that he might suggest Red Robin b/c that seems to happen to me. Anyway, I said that I would be just coming back from a weekend trip away and wasn't sure when I would be back. He told me to just let him know when I had an idea.

The weekend was a lot of fun, but exhausting and ridiculously hot. When we were about to leave, although I would have been back in plenty of time to do dinner, I texted him asking if I could get a rein check b/c I was so tired and hot. He said that it was fine and how about Monday? Kind of eager, isn't he? So, even though I was having somewhat lukewarm feelings about this upcoming encounter, I thought that I would give it a shot. I agreed to Monday and he asked me what kind of food I liked. I wanted to keep the dinner somewhat low key, so I said that I was craving a good sandwich. He suggested a restaurant in Tysons that I had never been to so I was intrigued.

After work, I went to the gym to release some energy about the night and ended up running 6 miles. When I got home I didn't eat anything b/c of the date and jumped in the shower. I got ready and headed out. I walked in and he was sitting on the bench waiting for me. He gave me a hug and we exchanged hellos.

So apparently, the restaurant is a little nicer than a regular ol' sandwich joint. He had even made reservations. It kind of made me miss the whole dating scene. We sat outside b/c it was such a nice night. We were talking about our weeks and some plans for the summer, a lot of different topics and things. The waitress kept coming by and he would apologize to her and tell her that we hadn't even looked at the menu. I was starving! It's now like 8:00 and I had just run 6 miles! I need food! He ordered a bottle of wine and finally an appetizer. Both were really good. Then the waitress kept coming back to see if we were ready to order food. Again he said we hadn't looked at the menu. Good gracious! I could feel my insides caving in. And I knew that if I continued to drink wine on an empty stomach, there was going to be a problem.

Luckily, we eventually ordered food and my dinner was delicious! I pretty much cleaned my plate. But that's not blogworthy information. What is worthy would be the feelings I had that night and the conversation. He is a very nice guy (when he is not trying to get into my pants and then ignore me), and was very easy to talk to. Sometimes I was just staring at him trying to figure out if I was attracted to him, if I could see myself dating him, and I just didn't feel anything. None of it was related to his behavior back in December; he was on a blank slate, and it just stayed blank. I mean, we have a lot in common, but it just felt like something was missing. And I didn't laugh. I have to have someone who makes me laugh. And yes, maybe he was nervous, but you can still be funny, or be yourself even a little. And if himself includes not being funny, then I can't do it. I feel compelled to apologize for that statement, but then why should I? Humor is a huge thing for me and if you don't have it, it's not going to work.

The night as a whole was kind of bizarre. I kept feeling like I was having dinner with a friend, even though I was pretty sure I was on a date. And putting his lack of a strong personality aside, he asked and did some things that were a bit strange. For instance, he asked me about my dating life. I replied that I had been seeing a guy for a little while, but it didn't work out. I asked about his b/c I thought it was polite, but truthfully I didn't really want to know. He answered that he had been seeing this girl he works with, but it ended b/c of a family tragedy she had that got in the way. He was disappointed b/c he was really into her. He actually repeated his comment of being really into her at another time in the conversation. I thought it was weird and not something you share with someone who has had our "history." He asked how I knew the guy I had been seeing and I said on eharmony. Then we got into (well, he got into) this long conversation about how it's hard to meet people. He even called our waitress over and asked for her opinion on the topic. It was so awkward! I just kept drinking wine pretending that I was at another table. I felt bad for her and embarrassed that she was now aware of what we were talking about, and couldn't help thinking about what she thought our situation was.

He also asked if I have ever been in a serious relationship (which was also kind of a strange question) and I said no. He asked why and I explained my situation and added that I didn't really know who I was until later on. Then he asked me who is Isabelle? I told him that I couldn't tell him, that I knew intrinsically, but didn't know how to express it into words. He pushed the matter a little more, but there was nothing I could tell him. He also asked me what my plans were for meeting people this summer. Really? I said that I was going to join a running group, but other than that, I have so many other uncertainties in my life, that I really wanted to focus more on those this summer than dating (like finding a job and a place to live). He said, "So, July 1st you should have everything settled, right?" I was like what? I am not even going to be back from my vacation (which he knew) by then. Plus that's in like 3 weeks! I doubt I will find both a job and a new residence within 3 weeks, especially when 2 of those weeks will be spent in Europe.

We finally left the restaurant and were walking to our cars. He gave me a hug and I thanked him for dinner (he paid). He said that we should do this again, but not let 6 months go by this time. I said sure and waved goodbye. The evening was...fine. That is really the only way I can describe it. It was good in the sense that I feel like I now have control of the situation. There was so much baggage from before, but now it's like I have closure. I am pretty sure that I don't want to date him. He would be a great friend, but there is no romantic connection that I feel. So, I think the chapter of Brian has come to an end. And I actually feel good about it. So...yeah.

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