A Nothing's Happening Update

I really have nothing to update right now.  Sebastian e-mailed me on Thursday (June 3rd), just about a paragraph.  He asked what made me decide to leave teaching (since he's a teacher himself) and mentioned my trip to NYC.  He also told me not to worry about answering with deep, thoughtful responses because those could wait until we met up over milkshakes.  "...and when will that be exactly?" he teased at the end.

I dig it.  I like that he picked something other than drinks or coffee and I like that he suggested something at least somewhat specific and not a vague suggestion of getting together sometime.

I tried e-mailing him back that night, but I fell asleep on my couch instead.  Whoops!  So instead I started e-mailing him on Friday afternoon after I finished packing for the weekend in Busch Gardens.  I was almost done when Isabelle showed up at my house EARLY, so I made her watch some TeenNick while I hurried to finish because I knew that if I didn't finish then, I'd have to wait until Sunday--and I didn't want to wait three days from his e-mail to respond.  I didn't say anything very important in the e-mail, but I did tell him where I was going for the weekend and that we could talk about milkshakes when I got back.

Well, fast-forward to NINE days later and I still haven't heard anything!  I'm not pissed, especially because I waited longer than that to get back to him the first time, but come on!  I know that it's the end of the school year and it's a crazy time, but it's just an e-mail, dude.

At work on Thursday (June 10th), I walked past Ethan's desk on my way back to my agency and he put his phone call on hold just to tell me that we had to talk.  "Things have been getting CRAZY around here!"  I was intrigued and gestured for him to call me when he had a chance.  He did and apparently two different Navy officers asked him about me this morning.  One of them is a guy that he doesn't really socialize with, so it wasn't just an offhand question--he had to mention me on purpose.  He also might be stalking me--just kidding--because he's seen me leave with my "latina" co-worker in the evenings and mentioned this to Ethan.  That's only true every other week, so he can't have been paying attention for long--which makes him a terrible stalker or not a stalker at all.  Anyway, Ethan didn't give many details, but that one is apparently a tall Lieutenant Commander and I wonder if it's the one that I said hi to one morning when I caught him staring at me (I'm not that hot...it's just that I'm young and dress cutely and all the women that they see are in shapeless uniforms.  I win by default).

Anyway, a bunch of people from Ethan's office might be going to a Nationals game in about two weeks.  If that happens, he's going to invite me along and point out the guys that are "acceptable" and I can decide if I'm interested.  Even if I'm not, I'm down with being able to see Stephen Strasburg pitch and meet new people.  In the meantime, I'll have to step up my fashion choices.  No problem.

Just A Dinner

So to review, last Friday Brian texted me asking me if I wanted to get dinner with him Sunday night. I had suggested coffee during our previous conversation, so he umped the ante a bit. I was also a little scared that he might suggest Red Robin b/c that seems to happen to me. Anyway, I said that I would be just coming back from a weekend trip away and wasn't sure when I would be back. He told me to just let him know when I had an idea.

The weekend was a lot of fun, but exhausting and ridiculously hot. When we were about to leave, although I would have been back in plenty of time to do dinner, I texted him asking if I could get a rein check b/c I was so tired and hot. He said that it was fine and how about Monday? Kind of eager, isn't he? So, even though I was having somewhat lukewarm feelings about this upcoming encounter, I thought that I would give it a shot. I agreed to Monday and he asked me what kind of food I liked. I wanted to keep the dinner somewhat low key, so I said that I was craving a good sandwich. He suggested a restaurant in Tysons that I had never been to so I was intrigued.

After work, I went to the gym to release some energy about the night and ended up running 6 miles. When I got home I didn't eat anything b/c of the date and jumped in the shower. I got ready and headed out. I walked in and he was sitting on the bench waiting for me. He gave me a hug and we exchanged hellos.

So apparently, the restaurant is a little nicer than a regular ol' sandwich joint. He had even made reservations. It kind of made me miss the whole dating scene. We sat outside b/c it was such a nice night. We were talking about our weeks and some plans for the summer, a lot of different topics and things. The waitress kept coming by and he would apologize to her and tell her that we hadn't even looked at the menu. I was starving! It's now like 8:00 and I had just run 6 miles! I need food! He ordered a bottle of wine and finally an appetizer. Both were really good. Then the waitress kept coming back to see if we were ready to order food. Again he said we hadn't looked at the menu. Good gracious! I could feel my insides caving in. And I knew that if I continued to drink wine on an empty stomach, there was going to be a problem.

Luckily, we eventually ordered food and my dinner was delicious! I pretty much cleaned my plate. But that's not blogworthy information. What is worthy would be the feelings I had that night and the conversation. He is a very nice guy (when he is not trying to get into my pants and then ignore me), and was very easy to talk to. Sometimes I was just staring at him trying to figure out if I was attracted to him, if I could see myself dating him, and I just didn't feel anything. None of it was related to his behavior back in December; he was on a blank slate, and it just stayed blank. I mean, we have a lot in common, but it just felt like something was missing. And I didn't laugh. I have to have someone who makes me laugh. And yes, maybe he was nervous, but you can still be funny, or be yourself even a little. And if himself includes not being funny, then I can't do it. I feel compelled to apologize for that statement, but then why should I? Humor is a huge thing for me and if you don't have it, it's not going to work.

The night as a whole was kind of bizarre. I kept feeling like I was having dinner with a friend, even though I was pretty sure I was on a date. And putting his lack of a strong personality aside, he asked and did some things that were a bit strange. For instance, he asked me about my dating life. I replied that I had been seeing a guy for a little while, but it didn't work out. I asked about his b/c I thought it was polite, but truthfully I didn't really want to know. He answered that he had been seeing this girl he works with, but it ended b/c of a family tragedy she had that got in the way. He was disappointed b/c he was really into her. He actually repeated his comment of being really into her at another time in the conversation. I thought it was weird and not something you share with someone who has had our "history." He asked how I knew the guy I had been seeing and I said on eharmony. Then we got into (well, he got into) this long conversation about how it's hard to meet people. He even called our waitress over and asked for her opinion on the topic. It was so awkward! I just kept drinking wine pretending that I was at another table. I felt bad for her and embarrassed that she was now aware of what we were talking about, and couldn't help thinking about what she thought our situation was.

He also asked if I have ever been in a serious relationship (which was also kind of a strange question) and I said no. He asked why and I explained my situation and added that I didn't really know who I was until later on. Then he asked me who is Isabelle? I told him that I couldn't tell him, that I knew intrinsically, but didn't know how to express it into words. He pushed the matter a little more, but there was nothing I could tell him. He also asked me what my plans were for meeting people this summer. Really? I said that I was going to join a running group, but other than that, I have so many other uncertainties in my life, that I really wanted to focus more on those this summer than dating (like finding a job and a place to live). He said, "So, July 1st you should have everything settled, right?" I was like what? I am not even going to be back from my vacation (which he knew) by then. Plus that's in like 3 weeks! I doubt I will find both a job and a new residence within 3 weeks, especially when 2 of those weeks will be spent in Europe.

We finally left the restaurant and were walking to our cars. He gave me a hug and I thanked him for dinner (he paid). He said that we should do this again, but not let 6 months go by this time. I said sure and waved goodbye. The evening was...fine. That is really the only way I can describe it. It was good in the sense that I feel like I now have control of the situation. There was so much baggage from before, but now it's like I have closure. I am pretty sure that I don't want to date him. He would be a great friend, but there is no romantic connection that I feel. So, I think the chapter of Brian has come to an end. And I actually feel good about it. So...yeah.

The Business of Brian

So...I finally decided to reply to Brian's text on Monday afternoon. We texted back and forth a little bit about summer plans and my new job search. He was a little more responsive than he has been in the past, but not by much. There was a time of about 2 hours between two texts, but I was prepared for it and did my own thing during that time anyway. At the end, he said that he was headed into a meeting, but we should catch up soon. At the point in the day, I was a little uncertain about my feelings for him, but I kind of decided that a low key thing would probably be okay. I texted back that catching up sounded good and suggested coffee for the next week. He liked the idea and told me that he was looking forward to it.

He just texted me this afternoon, and I quote, "Hey, whatcha doing Sunday night?" Maybe I am super picky, but I don't care. The "u's," "whatcha's," and "how've's" have got to go. They are not real words and he is a grown man. Anyway, my first gut reaction was not"Oh, joy! Brian texted me! what could it be?!" It was more like, "eek. What is this going to say when I open it? I am a little nervous." And that is not a great indicator of things. So I went to a couple of friends I have here at work and asked for some advice. It sounds like the my options are to shut him down or give him a shot. Lila thinks that I should go out with him for the blog. That doesn't seem like the right reason...but it's something.

I wrote back that Sunday should be fine. I was returning from a weekend trip and didn't know when I would be back. He wrote back "Nice, where u headed?" There it is again. The terrible "u." I told him in very concise words. Like the name of the location and that is it. What else do I need to say? I don't have to apologize for my texting. I am trying to be open about all of this and I think the moment I get caught up in how I respond will ruin me.

So that's the story so far. I will definitely post about our Sunday "catch up" if it indeed happens.

E-mailing Sebastian

So I didn't pay attention to my eHarmony subscription and it apparently just renewed itself AGAIN.  Eff-bombtastic.  Anyway, I decided that I'm going to go whole hog on this thing and actually send out feelers to guys on my own instead of waiting for them to contact me.  Because why the heck not?  I doubt that I'm going to find the love of my life on this thing, but I might as well try to date.  It's sad that I have to travel to NYC just to make out with a stranger for a couple of hours when I could potentially find a stranger down here to do the same thing with.

 

That said, I'm at the e-mail stage with Sebastian, a 29-year old science teacher who lives about twenty-five miles away, past Manassas.  That's really far, but whatever.  It can't hurt to give him a shot and he seems nice.  What's kind of funny to me is that he sent his final questions to me over a week ago, but I didn't get back to him until last night.  I wanted to give thoughtful answers, but last night I was tired from the bus trip home from NYC, so I gave up and was like, "Whatever.  Who cares about thoughtful answers?  I'll sound more real if I just answer without thinking too hard about my three best traits in a relationship for a partner." (My answers: optimism, honesty, and, in a cop-out, I kind of referred back to the optimism and said that I believe the best in people...or something).

 

So I sent them and not too long later I got an eHarmony e-mail from him.  In one of my responses, I mentioned that I'd briefly tried CatholicMatch, but kind of gave up on it; I mentioned it because I suspected that he was Catholic, too (I was right; it was an easy guess because he looks very Italian) and in his e-mail he said that he'd also tried it.  He also said that his subscription was expiring (and right then I should have checked mine--almost did, too), so he gave me his personal e-mail address, but told me that if I didn't feel comfortable with that yet, he'd pay the $20 to extend for another month.  Well, I care too much about wasting money to allow that, so I just gave him my e-mail address.  What's the worst that can happen?  He turns out to be crazy and I have to create a filter to make sure that I don't see his e-mails?  I'm not too worried.

 

So we'll see how it goes...and if anything happens with the other two or three guys that I'm technically communicating with.  Or real life guys!  There are a couple new sailors at work and they're both kind of cute.  One already talked to me and flirted with me and the other guy I caught staring in a non-creepy way.  You know what I mean: if he'd been ugly, it would have been creepy, but he's attractive so it wasn't.

 

Unrelated, a mutual friend of mine and Charlie's told me that he moved to Arlington and now lives on the same road as my work building.  The road in question is quite long, but it's probably only considered to be Arlington for about five miles and he runs more than that in a day--so, theoretically, I could run into him just walking to and from my car.  That's kind of too close to comfort, but at least I'm prepared.  At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if I ran into him soon because that's just the way my life works.  It'll be fine, though...and I'm going to make sure that I'm thin, fit, and tan when it happens.

Bachelorette Party, NYC-Style

This weekend involved a surprise bachelorette party for my friend, Iris, in New York City.  Now I don't remember a whole lot of Saturday night, but some important stuff went down.  We started out at a rooftop bar overlooking the Empire State Building which was pretty awesome and then we moved on to some other club.  It happened to be Fleet Week which kept making me think of Sex and the City when Charlotte showed her boob to some sailor.  I didn't show my boobs, but I did dance with a couple of 21-year old sailors...or "juice boxes" as one friend described them (because if men are best when aged to a fine wine, these babies were juice boxes).

 

Iris introduced me to one of these juice boxes and I started dancing with him.  I was pretty drunk at this point which is my only explanation for the rest of the night.  I asked how old he was and he told me and I let him know that I was entirely too old for him.  He said that he didn't mind and was dancing entirely too close to me--so close that I could pretty much tell exactly what he was after.  In my drunken state, I felt so big sisterly to these boys that I didn't want them wasting their time with me.  "I know that you're only here for a short time before you have to get back to your boat.  If you're looking for sex, it's not happening with me, so you should look elsewhere if that's what you're after."  Hilariously, the kid politely excused himself and I told him to be safe and use protection (because I didn't want him getting STDs or getting a girl pregnant).  I had to tell another boy all this before I met the guy that I spent the rest of the evening with.

 

One of my married friends introduced me to Ted; for some reason I thought that he was in the Navy, too, and it must have been because I was too drunk to remember each time he told me that he wasn't.  Anyway, he told me that he was 25 and I tried to pull the same stuff on him that I had on the little sailors by letting him know that sex wasn't happening and I'd have no hard feelings toward him if he went off somewhere.  He refused to go and even asked me why I was trying to get rid of him.  He claimed that he'd come into that part of the bar and paid the $10 cover because he'd seen me walking in.  I...kind of doubt this, but it's flattering so I'll accept it.  Anyway, Ted bought me a drink and maybe we danced?  I don't remember if we did for long before we started making out in a corner.  We'd stop every once in a while and say stuff, but we were definitely more interested in making out.  I did learn his first and last name and he gave me a business card--and we exchanged cell phone numbers--but most of what we talked about is jumbled up in my mind.  I did spend a while trying to convince him that he didn't want to be with me and remember saying, "You don't know anything about me!" to which he responded, "I want to know everything about you."

 

I told him that he was smooth and he said that he wasn't being smooth, he was just being honest.  Yeah, right.  He asked what my full name was and I told him, so then he repeated my first and middle names along with his last name.  "No, no, NO!" I shrieked.  "We're not doing that!"  I have to hand it to him, though: as a player, he knew what I'd be interested in hearing.  Obviously I don't want a random guy in a bar to bring up marriage to me, but hearing that marriage is a thing that crosses his mind?  If I were a different kind of girl, it would have given me the warm and fuzzies.  Shoot, it still entertained and charmed me enough to keep me making out with him for nearly two hours.  My friends apparently would come by and check to make sure that I hadn't left the spot, but we kept doing that until last call.

 

I don't regret it, either.  It was fun and the last time I did more than share a single kiss or two with a guy was back at the beginning of November when Nathan and I were still a couple.  Anyway, I got a text message the next morning saying, "Wanna make out?" and I replied, "I'm on my way to Mass and I'm pretty sure that God disapproves of that happening in His house."  I hoped that he'd message back, but he never did, so I'm guessing that that's the end of that guy.

 

Even though Iris and I have zero recollection of this, when we got back to our friend's apartment after the bar, we argued for a half an hour over who looked better naked, her fiance, Carl, or a mutual friend of everyone's that I did a little more than make out with a couple times back in college, Trey.  We were both apparently very adamant that our respective guys would win in a "Naked off" but there was no winner.  Except all of our less drunk friends who got to hear about it all.  Ha!

Some Organization

An FYI:  I just posted four old posts and backdated them to when I originally wrote them:

Xavier and More on 5 April 2010

Carson the Law Student on 5 April 2010

Caps Game Cometh on 6 April 2010

Birthday Rehash on 16 April 2010

I've been busy, I've been lazy, and I've procrastinated hugely, but now I'm back with new stuff.  Stay tuned.

xoxo,
Lila