Old Town, New Guy

Holla! I don't know why I am so excited about this next post. I think it's because things have been pretty rough and tricky these last couple of months for me and finally something happened that made me feel good. And also, let's be honest, it has been really long time before something legitimately happened with a boy.

I was really tired on Saturday due to improper sleeping and a long work week. But Saturday was so beautiful out that a few friends and I decided to make the most of it and go to a few vineyards out west. It was truly amazing. I drank a sufficient amount to be really buzzed and was thankful to be back home. I showered, got into sweats, made dinner and got into bed to enjoy some more relaxation. Then my friend called and asked me if I wanted to go out with her. I am up for a good time, but I was really looking forward to taking it easy that night. She assured me that there would be boys. I had to make her promise that the boys would be single. She said that there will be. So I rallied my spirits, changed, and headed out.

We went to the departure spot and...met boys! Some who were attached, but some single! Hooray! The group from the house split into 2 different groups. Five of us went to Old Town Alexandria and the other group went to U Street I think. My group consisted of my friend, her husband, me, and two single, very cute men. One I had met a bunch of times before his name is Stars (Frat nickname), but the other, Seth, was new to me. We crammed into a cab and took off!

We went to a bunch of different bars and had a really good time. My friend told me that Seth told her that he thought I was really cute, so score one for me! She also was failing quickly so I made sure we got her more drinks and we continued on! We eventually made it back to Stars' house and watched some TV. My friend and her husband left and then everybody else in the room was heading to bed. Seth asked a friend for some blankets and then disappeared downstairs for a few minutes and I felt really awkward. I wasn't sure if he was coming back up. I got my things together and was going to leave. But then he reappeared and we had that uncomfortable situation where he thought I was leaving but wanted me to stay and I wanted to stay but thought he wanted me to leave. But we quickly settled the matter and I followed him downstairs.

We sat on the couch and started talking. I don't really remember what about, I was pretty tipsy. We might have spoken about work and I remember something about netflix. He asked if I was seeing anyone and I said no. Perhaps we talked more about it, but what I do remember is that I was freezing so I asked for a blanket. He put one around me and kind of hugged me to make me warm. Then he kissed my head. I turned towards him and then it was on. I know that sounds awful, but I really think that's how it happened. And it was good. It was really really good. I don't know if it's just b/c he is a really good kisser or if I am becoming more confident in myself. Things were definitely hot and steamy.

Things started to really heat up and become uncomfortable at the same time. In one snap he undid my jeans and bra (through my shirt and underneath my cardigan, mind you). *About a year ago, I was sexually assaulted by two of my guy roommates (on 3 separate occasions) and every time I get close with a guy, I am brought back to those awful moments. I wanted to enjoy the myself, but I was too scarred. I asked him to slow down and I was debating telling him why. I knew it would kind of ruin things, but I felt like I at least owed him an explanation. I wasn't too graphic but I did tell him why I needed to slow down. He said that he was sorry about what had happened with my roommates and said that he had recently gotten out of a long time relationship. He then asked me if he could just hold me. So I was lying kind of on top of him with my hand across his chest (shirt on). And he was rubbing my back and had his hand on top of mine. He started saying all of these really sweet things like my smile was beautiful and the first thing he noticed about me.

He then fell asleep and I unfortunately could not. I tried so hard to sleep but I was growing uncomfortable in the position. His body, although very nice, is not a great pillow. By about 7:15 I thought it was a good time to go. I got up and started to gather my things. I put my boots back on as well as my fleece. Seth woke up and stood up to say goodbye. We said our typical "had a good night, thanks, and take care" comments and then he kissed me goodbye. We continued kissing and it was really good. My gosh he is a good kisser. It became more passionate and I thought, "hell, my home isn't going anywhere, I will leave later." So we ended up back on the couch and he unzipped my fleece and I dropped my purse. He took off his shirt and we were making out pretty hard core again. This time it might have even been hotter than the first, but I can't identify as to why. Maybe we just got into a groove, I don't know. All I know was that it was amazing.

Then he started kissing my neck and the spot where my collar bones meet. Then he was kissing in a line from there to the top of my jeans, all on top of my shirt. I was nervous about where that was heading so I brought his head back to my face and started kissing him again. He told me I had really soft and perfect skin. Then he took my hand and started kissing my palm and each finger. It was so tender and kind of perfect. We then snuggled some more on the couch. He just had his arms around me and I was holding his arms. He had fallen asleep again and I saw that it was 8:30. I was torn between staying with him and going home. I decided that it was probably a smart move for me to leave. So again, I started to gather my things and get ready to go. He woke up and we repeated our goodbyes. He started kissing me again and it took every fiber of my being to pull away. Two images popped into my head: 1) my mom 2) the car montage from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding." They both reminded me that I should leave boys wanting more. So I decided that I should go. Also, I was starting to not feel very well.

So I left. Seth didn't ask for my number or walk me to the door. I was not expecting anything more to come from it, but it definitely would have been nice. He is really cute, he respected me, and he is an amazing kisser. So I am disappointed that I haven't heard from him, but I am also okay with how I handled myself. I don't feel violated by anyone and I feel more confident in myself. I am just tired of being in this position.

Prom Date Date

Ok so I am assuming that by the fact that it has taken me so long to write part 2 of this story that there really isn't much to comment. And you'd be right. So I will do a quick summary and we can move on.

The dinner was set for 7:45. I got there a little after b/c I had trouble finding parking. He was stuck in traffic, still in the district. I got a table and finally he arrived a little after 8. I went in for the hug. I don't think he was expecting it, but I didn't really care b/c I hadn't seen him in 8 years and an awkward hug is better than no hug at all.

We each got a drink and then ordered food. I was starving and was trying to not seem like I was devouring the food. We were mainly catching up. We both have moved and gotten new jobs in the past month. And we talked about mutual friends and how thing shave changed since high school and college. I had a really good time. Mainly it was just good to see him.

He said that he should better be going since it was getting late (even though we had just been talking about a place across the street that has amazing fresh ice cream everyday). He paid for the dinner which was really nice of him. We got up and walked to our cars. At dinner he said that we should do it again sometime. But when we got to the first car (which was his) he just gave me a hug and wished me luck at my race on Sunday.

And that is the end of the story. A couple days later he invited me, through evite, to his housewarming party. I couldn't go b/c I was going out of town that weekend and I told him that when I responded. Then I invited him to mine, but he never RSVPed. I haven't seem him at church since, not that he is avoiding me, but I just haven't been able to say hello.

So I haven't heard from him since, but am not really sad. I mean I am disappointed, but I wasn't really expecting anything either. I don't know. Jack does die at the end of Titanic, so honestly, how much hope was there?

My Heart Will Go On...

...Was the last song at my prom. It was also the last song at my 8th grade dance, but that is irrelevant. This post is about my reconnection with my prom date and the potential for possibly more? That's where you come in.

Maybe, 7 or 8 weeks ago I walked passed my prom date from senior year of high school. I hadn't really seen him since graduation so I was pretty shocked. It was also slightly awkward b/c I was in church and on my way to take communion. I walked passed him, saw him, and gave a minimal wave and then returned to my seat. I also happened to see a friend whom I have not seen in a long time. I knew that with the large amount of people at church and everybody's different exit strategy, I would only be able to say hi to one while losing the other. So I said to myself, "if God wants it work between me and Prom Date, then he will make it happen." Therefore, once the service ended, I went to see my other friend and talked to her a little bit. When we finished I was looking around and actually saw Prom Date. I was walking towards him when some woman grabbed and pulled him to a group of expectant people waiting to talk to him. I tried calling his name, but he could not hear me over the hubbub. So I went to the bathroom and when I came out I tried to find him again, but had no luck.

I went home a little defeated, but not hopeless. A couple days later, I logged onto Facebook and was working on constructing a message to send him when I saw that he was in Nicaragua for the next 10 days. I wrote the message anyway and sent it. It just said that it was really good seeing him and maybe we could catch up when he returned.

A few days after he returned from his trip and wrote me back: (I have decided to cut and paste the conversations so they are accurate. He is in blue, I am in purple)
Hey! It was good to see you as well! It would be great to catch up sometime in the next two weeks. Things might be a little crazy for me this coming week but let me know what would work for you!

The next day I responded with:
I am tutoring this summer, so my schedule is pretty flexible, except for a possible move in the next two weeks. If this week is a little too hectic, would you want to try for next week? I am mainly just busy in the mornings. Let me know, and I hope your weeks goes well!

I had not hear anything for maybe three weeks so I sent another message:
Just seeing if you wanted to catch up over coffee or something after work Thursday or Friday. I hope you had a nice weekend.

Then finally! Four days later he wrote back, and by that point, the Thursday and Friday that I was referring to had passed, but that is alright.
Isabelle! I'm sorry it's taken me a little while to get back to you. Life has been pretty hectic but it's starting to slow down a little bit. Needless to say, I'm pretty excited that fall is here. Cool weather and hopefully a slower pace of life. Does only Thursday or Friday work for you this next week? Any chance that Wednesday might work? I'm unfortunately tied up both on Thursday and Friday. Let me know. Have a great week! I look forward to catching up.

So then I responded with:
I know what you mean. Life has been pretty crazy for me as well. I definitely hope the fall calms things down a bit. Wednesday could work. The only thing is that I work and then tutor until 7:30 so I won't be free until after then. Does that still work for you? Just let me know!

And then unfortunately, it was another couple of days before I had a response.
I figured email might be easier as I seem to have a very hard time responding to facebook messages. Let's try for something later on in the evening on Wednesday. Do you want to just do dinner somewhere? Let me know what works for you.

So then I wrote back with:
I like e-mail much better than facebook messages anyway. I think dinner on Wednesday sounds like a great idea. I know I will be hungry after work and tutoring. I can probably get to most places by 7:45. Does that work? Do you have any places in mind?

Then him:

I hope you had great Tuesday and that you get a chance to check your email tomorrow during the day (sorry for not responding sooner). How about meeting for dinner in Clarendon. Let me know what sounds good. I'm also totally open to other options as well.

See you tomorrow!

Needless to say, it took a lot of manpower and patience, but we finally met at a restaurant in Clarendon. A post with an account of that evening will be coming shortly.

So to wrap up, we both seemed excited to have seen each other at church, he is awful at corresponding or was he avoiding? I kind of doubt it, I don't think I am that awful of a person and he always attached many exclamation marks in his messages. I am looking forward to our dinner. Hopefully I will look presentable after a 10 hour day at work and then tutoring. PS: I work at a children's gym, so I usually feel gross by the end.

What The What?

This blog is about Brian and his confusing ways.

Over the weekend he was at the beach with two of my roommates. At 2 AM he sent me a text. The 2 AM text is about 3 hours past the window for appropriate texts. And even though he was in a different state and with my roommates, he was thinking about me way past daylight hours and that should be noted.

So his text (which woke me up) said, "Ur roommates are outta control on Dewey!!! But that didn't cone from me. Want to get together to hear about ur trip sometime. Hope you had fun tonight."

His typing of "come" gives me a clue that he was probably also drunk at the time of the text. So here is a guy who when he could have had me, disappeared. And then when I gave him a second chance, he made me feel uncomfortable and just about attacked my character. And also he definitely gave me a weird friend vibe at dinner.

So what is he doing? We have yet to actually speak on the phone. Everything has been through text which makes me a little sad. Judge if you want, but I feel that when people communicate, they should do it with voices. He also has yet to ask me out on a date. So this "getting together to talk about my trip" what is that? Does he actually want to learn about my trip or is this another fake date?

I have no freaking idea and it is exhausting me.

A Nothing's Happening Update

I really have nothing to update right now.  Sebastian e-mailed me on Thursday (June 3rd), just about a paragraph.  He asked what made me decide to leave teaching (since he's a teacher himself) and mentioned my trip to NYC.  He also told me not to worry about answering with deep, thoughtful responses because those could wait until we met up over milkshakes.  "...and when will that be exactly?" he teased at the end.

I dig it.  I like that he picked something other than drinks or coffee and I like that he suggested something at least somewhat specific and not a vague suggestion of getting together sometime.

I tried e-mailing him back that night, but I fell asleep on my couch instead.  Whoops!  So instead I started e-mailing him on Friday afternoon after I finished packing for the weekend in Busch Gardens.  I was almost done when Isabelle showed up at my house EARLY, so I made her watch some TeenNick while I hurried to finish because I knew that if I didn't finish then, I'd have to wait until Sunday--and I didn't want to wait three days from his e-mail to respond.  I didn't say anything very important in the e-mail, but I did tell him where I was going for the weekend and that we could talk about milkshakes when I got back.

Well, fast-forward to NINE days later and I still haven't heard anything!  I'm not pissed, especially because I waited longer than that to get back to him the first time, but come on!  I know that it's the end of the school year and it's a crazy time, but it's just an e-mail, dude.

At work on Thursday (June 10th), I walked past Ethan's desk on my way back to my agency and he put his phone call on hold just to tell me that we had to talk.  "Things have been getting CRAZY around here!"  I was intrigued and gestured for him to call me when he had a chance.  He did and apparently two different Navy officers asked him about me this morning.  One of them is a guy that he doesn't really socialize with, so it wasn't just an offhand question--he had to mention me on purpose.  He also might be stalking me--just kidding--because he's seen me leave with my "latina" co-worker in the evenings and mentioned this to Ethan.  That's only true every other week, so he can't have been paying attention for long--which makes him a terrible stalker or not a stalker at all.  Anyway, Ethan didn't give many details, but that one is apparently a tall Lieutenant Commander and I wonder if it's the one that I said hi to one morning when I caught him staring at me (I'm not that hot...it's just that I'm young and dress cutely and all the women that they see are in shapeless uniforms.  I win by default).

Anyway, a bunch of people from Ethan's office might be going to a Nationals game in about two weeks.  If that happens, he's going to invite me along and point out the guys that are "acceptable" and I can decide if I'm interested.  Even if I'm not, I'm down with being able to see Stephen Strasburg pitch and meet new people.  In the meantime, I'll have to step up my fashion choices.  No problem.

Just A Dinner

So to review, last Friday Brian texted me asking me if I wanted to get dinner with him Sunday night. I had suggested coffee during our previous conversation, so he umped the ante a bit. I was also a little scared that he might suggest Red Robin b/c that seems to happen to me. Anyway, I said that I would be just coming back from a weekend trip away and wasn't sure when I would be back. He told me to just let him know when I had an idea.

The weekend was a lot of fun, but exhausting and ridiculously hot. When we were about to leave, although I would have been back in plenty of time to do dinner, I texted him asking if I could get a rein check b/c I was so tired and hot. He said that it was fine and how about Monday? Kind of eager, isn't he? So, even though I was having somewhat lukewarm feelings about this upcoming encounter, I thought that I would give it a shot. I agreed to Monday and he asked me what kind of food I liked. I wanted to keep the dinner somewhat low key, so I said that I was craving a good sandwich. He suggested a restaurant in Tysons that I had never been to so I was intrigued.

After work, I went to the gym to release some energy about the night and ended up running 6 miles. When I got home I didn't eat anything b/c of the date and jumped in the shower. I got ready and headed out. I walked in and he was sitting on the bench waiting for me. He gave me a hug and we exchanged hellos.

So apparently, the restaurant is a little nicer than a regular ol' sandwich joint. He had even made reservations. It kind of made me miss the whole dating scene. We sat outside b/c it was such a nice night. We were talking about our weeks and some plans for the summer, a lot of different topics and things. The waitress kept coming by and he would apologize to her and tell her that we hadn't even looked at the menu. I was starving! It's now like 8:00 and I had just run 6 miles! I need food! He ordered a bottle of wine and finally an appetizer. Both were really good. Then the waitress kept coming back to see if we were ready to order food. Again he said we hadn't looked at the menu. Good gracious! I could feel my insides caving in. And I knew that if I continued to drink wine on an empty stomach, there was going to be a problem.

Luckily, we eventually ordered food and my dinner was delicious! I pretty much cleaned my plate. But that's not blogworthy information. What is worthy would be the feelings I had that night and the conversation. He is a very nice guy (when he is not trying to get into my pants and then ignore me), and was very easy to talk to. Sometimes I was just staring at him trying to figure out if I was attracted to him, if I could see myself dating him, and I just didn't feel anything. None of it was related to his behavior back in December; he was on a blank slate, and it just stayed blank. I mean, we have a lot in common, but it just felt like something was missing. And I didn't laugh. I have to have someone who makes me laugh. And yes, maybe he was nervous, but you can still be funny, or be yourself even a little. And if himself includes not being funny, then I can't do it. I feel compelled to apologize for that statement, but then why should I? Humor is a huge thing for me and if you don't have it, it's not going to work.

The night as a whole was kind of bizarre. I kept feeling like I was having dinner with a friend, even though I was pretty sure I was on a date. And putting his lack of a strong personality aside, he asked and did some things that were a bit strange. For instance, he asked me about my dating life. I replied that I had been seeing a guy for a little while, but it didn't work out. I asked about his b/c I thought it was polite, but truthfully I didn't really want to know. He answered that he had been seeing this girl he works with, but it ended b/c of a family tragedy she had that got in the way. He was disappointed b/c he was really into her. He actually repeated his comment of being really into her at another time in the conversation. I thought it was weird and not something you share with someone who has had our "history." He asked how I knew the guy I had been seeing and I said on eharmony. Then we got into (well, he got into) this long conversation about how it's hard to meet people. He even called our waitress over and asked for her opinion on the topic. It was so awkward! I just kept drinking wine pretending that I was at another table. I felt bad for her and embarrassed that she was now aware of what we were talking about, and couldn't help thinking about what she thought our situation was.

He also asked if I have ever been in a serious relationship (which was also kind of a strange question) and I said no. He asked why and I explained my situation and added that I didn't really know who I was until later on. Then he asked me who is Isabelle? I told him that I couldn't tell him, that I knew intrinsically, but didn't know how to express it into words. He pushed the matter a little more, but there was nothing I could tell him. He also asked me what my plans were for meeting people this summer. Really? I said that I was going to join a running group, but other than that, I have so many other uncertainties in my life, that I really wanted to focus more on those this summer than dating (like finding a job and a place to live). He said, "So, July 1st you should have everything settled, right?" I was like what? I am not even going to be back from my vacation (which he knew) by then. Plus that's in like 3 weeks! I doubt I will find both a job and a new residence within 3 weeks, especially when 2 of those weeks will be spent in Europe.

We finally left the restaurant and were walking to our cars. He gave me a hug and I thanked him for dinner (he paid). He said that we should do this again, but not let 6 months go by this time. I said sure and waved goodbye. The evening was...fine. That is really the only way I can describe it. It was good in the sense that I feel like I now have control of the situation. There was so much baggage from before, but now it's like I have closure. I am pretty sure that I don't want to date him. He would be a great friend, but there is no romantic connection that I feel. So, I think the chapter of Brian has come to an end. And I actually feel good about it. So...yeah.

The Business of Brian

So...I finally decided to reply to Brian's text on Monday afternoon. We texted back and forth a little bit about summer plans and my new job search. He was a little more responsive than he has been in the past, but not by much. There was a time of about 2 hours between two texts, but I was prepared for it and did my own thing during that time anyway. At the end, he said that he was headed into a meeting, but we should catch up soon. At the point in the day, I was a little uncertain about my feelings for him, but I kind of decided that a low key thing would probably be okay. I texted back that catching up sounded good and suggested coffee for the next week. He liked the idea and told me that he was looking forward to it.

He just texted me this afternoon, and I quote, "Hey, whatcha doing Sunday night?" Maybe I am super picky, but I don't care. The "u's," "whatcha's," and "how've's" have got to go. They are not real words and he is a grown man. Anyway, my first gut reaction was not"Oh, joy! Brian texted me! what could it be?!" It was more like, "eek. What is this going to say when I open it? I am a little nervous." And that is not a great indicator of things. So I went to a couple of friends I have here at work and asked for some advice. It sounds like the my options are to shut him down or give him a shot. Lila thinks that I should go out with him for the blog. That doesn't seem like the right reason...but it's something.

I wrote back that Sunday should be fine. I was returning from a weekend trip and didn't know when I would be back. He wrote back "Nice, where u headed?" There it is again. The terrible "u." I told him in very concise words. Like the name of the location and that is it. What else do I need to say? I don't have to apologize for my texting. I am trying to be open about all of this and I think the moment I get caught up in how I respond will ruin me.

So that's the story so far. I will definitely post about our Sunday "catch up" if it indeed happens.

E-mailing Sebastian

So I didn't pay attention to my eHarmony subscription and it apparently just renewed itself AGAIN.  Eff-bombtastic.  Anyway, I decided that I'm going to go whole hog on this thing and actually send out feelers to guys on my own instead of waiting for them to contact me.  Because why the heck not?  I doubt that I'm going to find the love of my life on this thing, but I might as well try to date.  It's sad that I have to travel to NYC just to make out with a stranger for a couple of hours when I could potentially find a stranger down here to do the same thing with.

 

That said, I'm at the e-mail stage with Sebastian, a 29-year old science teacher who lives about twenty-five miles away, past Manassas.  That's really far, but whatever.  It can't hurt to give him a shot and he seems nice.  What's kind of funny to me is that he sent his final questions to me over a week ago, but I didn't get back to him until last night.  I wanted to give thoughtful answers, but last night I was tired from the bus trip home from NYC, so I gave up and was like, "Whatever.  Who cares about thoughtful answers?  I'll sound more real if I just answer without thinking too hard about my three best traits in a relationship for a partner." (My answers: optimism, honesty, and, in a cop-out, I kind of referred back to the optimism and said that I believe the best in people...or something).

 

So I sent them and not too long later I got an eHarmony e-mail from him.  In one of my responses, I mentioned that I'd briefly tried CatholicMatch, but kind of gave up on it; I mentioned it because I suspected that he was Catholic, too (I was right; it was an easy guess because he looks very Italian) and in his e-mail he said that he'd also tried it.  He also said that his subscription was expiring (and right then I should have checked mine--almost did, too), so he gave me his personal e-mail address, but told me that if I didn't feel comfortable with that yet, he'd pay the $20 to extend for another month.  Well, I care too much about wasting money to allow that, so I just gave him my e-mail address.  What's the worst that can happen?  He turns out to be crazy and I have to create a filter to make sure that I don't see his e-mails?  I'm not too worried.

 

So we'll see how it goes...and if anything happens with the other two or three guys that I'm technically communicating with.  Or real life guys!  There are a couple new sailors at work and they're both kind of cute.  One already talked to me and flirted with me and the other guy I caught staring in a non-creepy way.  You know what I mean: if he'd been ugly, it would have been creepy, but he's attractive so it wasn't.

 

Unrelated, a mutual friend of mine and Charlie's told me that he moved to Arlington and now lives on the same road as my work building.  The road in question is quite long, but it's probably only considered to be Arlington for about five miles and he runs more than that in a day--so, theoretically, I could run into him just walking to and from my car.  That's kind of too close to comfort, but at least I'm prepared.  At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if I ran into him soon because that's just the way my life works.  It'll be fine, though...and I'm going to make sure that I'm thin, fit, and tan when it happens.

Bachelorette Party, NYC-Style

This weekend involved a surprise bachelorette party for my friend, Iris, in New York City.  Now I don't remember a whole lot of Saturday night, but some important stuff went down.  We started out at a rooftop bar overlooking the Empire State Building which was pretty awesome and then we moved on to some other club.  It happened to be Fleet Week which kept making me think of Sex and the City when Charlotte showed her boob to some sailor.  I didn't show my boobs, but I did dance with a couple of 21-year old sailors...or "juice boxes" as one friend described them (because if men are best when aged to a fine wine, these babies were juice boxes).

 

Iris introduced me to one of these juice boxes and I started dancing with him.  I was pretty drunk at this point which is my only explanation for the rest of the night.  I asked how old he was and he told me and I let him know that I was entirely too old for him.  He said that he didn't mind and was dancing entirely too close to me--so close that I could pretty much tell exactly what he was after.  In my drunken state, I felt so big sisterly to these boys that I didn't want them wasting their time with me.  "I know that you're only here for a short time before you have to get back to your boat.  If you're looking for sex, it's not happening with me, so you should look elsewhere if that's what you're after."  Hilariously, the kid politely excused himself and I told him to be safe and use protection (because I didn't want him getting STDs or getting a girl pregnant).  I had to tell another boy all this before I met the guy that I spent the rest of the evening with.

 

One of my married friends introduced me to Ted; for some reason I thought that he was in the Navy, too, and it must have been because I was too drunk to remember each time he told me that he wasn't.  Anyway, he told me that he was 25 and I tried to pull the same stuff on him that I had on the little sailors by letting him know that sex wasn't happening and I'd have no hard feelings toward him if he went off somewhere.  He refused to go and even asked me why I was trying to get rid of him.  He claimed that he'd come into that part of the bar and paid the $10 cover because he'd seen me walking in.  I...kind of doubt this, but it's flattering so I'll accept it.  Anyway, Ted bought me a drink and maybe we danced?  I don't remember if we did for long before we started making out in a corner.  We'd stop every once in a while and say stuff, but we were definitely more interested in making out.  I did learn his first and last name and he gave me a business card--and we exchanged cell phone numbers--but most of what we talked about is jumbled up in my mind.  I did spend a while trying to convince him that he didn't want to be with me and remember saying, "You don't know anything about me!" to which he responded, "I want to know everything about you."

 

I told him that he was smooth and he said that he wasn't being smooth, he was just being honest.  Yeah, right.  He asked what my full name was and I told him, so then he repeated my first and middle names along with his last name.  "No, no, NO!" I shrieked.  "We're not doing that!"  I have to hand it to him, though: as a player, he knew what I'd be interested in hearing.  Obviously I don't want a random guy in a bar to bring up marriage to me, but hearing that marriage is a thing that crosses his mind?  If I were a different kind of girl, it would have given me the warm and fuzzies.  Shoot, it still entertained and charmed me enough to keep me making out with him for nearly two hours.  My friends apparently would come by and check to make sure that I hadn't left the spot, but we kept doing that until last call.

 

I don't regret it, either.  It was fun and the last time I did more than share a single kiss or two with a guy was back at the beginning of November when Nathan and I were still a couple.  Anyway, I got a text message the next morning saying, "Wanna make out?" and I replied, "I'm on my way to Mass and I'm pretty sure that God disapproves of that happening in His house."  I hoped that he'd message back, but he never did, so I'm guessing that that's the end of that guy.

 

Even though Iris and I have zero recollection of this, when we got back to our friend's apartment after the bar, we argued for a half an hour over who looked better naked, her fiance, Carl, or a mutual friend of everyone's that I did a little more than make out with a couple times back in college, Trey.  We were both apparently very adamant that our respective guys would win in a "Naked off" but there was no winner.  Except all of our less drunk friends who got to hear about it all.  Ha!

Some Organization

An FYI:  I just posted four old posts and backdated them to when I originally wrote them:

Xavier and More on 5 April 2010

Carson the Law Student on 5 April 2010

Caps Game Cometh on 6 April 2010

Birthday Rehash on 16 April 2010

I've been busy, I've been lazy, and I've procrastinated hugely, but now I'm back with new stuff.  Stay tuned.

xoxo,
Lila

Seriously?

Oh my goodness. Brian is driving me crazy!! You remember Brian, right? He was the guy that I made out with, dress-less, in my bed at my Christmas party. And then because I was a little unsettled the next morning, since he was the 1st guy I had ever had sleep over, he decided all on his own, that I was not interested and ignored me. So when I needed him the most to help me feel like not a slut, he was gone.

Or so I thought. Then 2 months later, he texted me happy birthday. And then a few weeks after that he commented on my facebook status asking about a job that I was interviewing for. I told him what it was and a couple weeks later he asked if I had heard any news about the job. I told him that I hadn't heard anything yet.

Then last night he sent me a text. It said, "hey you, how've u been?" He sent it at 11:40PM (I didn't get it until 2), but we all know that a text from a guy after 11 is dangerous. And why is he texting me at all? Why is he doing this? And this morning I got on facebook and saw his last 2 status reports.

1st:
is headed outta DC to the Bay tonight for some fun!! Happy Memorial Day!!
(at 7:40)

and then:
ladies, "in only gonna break break, break break your heart" ;-) (at 11:30)

Thought number 1: he wrote the song lyric incorrectly. It's not "in gonna", it's "I'm gonna." So putting aside his awful typing or song knowledge...
Thought number 2: Due to my amazing detective skills, I have discovered that he wrote that status only about 10 minutes before texting me.

So I believe we have 2 options. There could be others, but I'm to befuddled to think hard enough. Option 1: He just likes the song and it has no connection to me or any other girl and I should just let it go. Option 2: the song is somehow meaningful to me and/or the situation which is grouped with the text he sent. I guess I do have a third option. Option 3: Who the F cares?

I don't know what he is thinking or doing. I don't know even how I feel or what I want to do. What is happening? How do I respond?

Grrrrrrrr!!

The Nephew From Philly

I don't even know if this counts, but I feel like this blog has been slacking recently so I am going to write about an event that I attended this weekend.

Saturday morning I went to a wedding. It was for a high school friend and really fun. I looked gorgeous, thank you very much. Then after the reception, I went to another friend's graduation party. I, of course, wanted to see my friend, but she and her mom (I work with the mom) have also been talking up her cousin, Matt, for months, so I was curious.

I got to the grad party and met all of the family members who were there, including Matt. And he is really cute. He used to be a teacher but switched gears and is now working for a non profit that mentors kids. That is actually something that I am really interested in doing so I was intrigued by that. I was talking with the whole extended family (I was the only non family member there after my friend's boyfriend left). It looked like people were starting to leave so I was gathering my things, but the mom told me to stay.

We were all talking outside and then decided to move inside to play Scattergories. Real exciting I know. It was my friend and I teamed up against her brother and her dad, her mom and Matt, and her gramma and her aunt. We came in 2nd place. Anyway, the game was a lot of fun because we were just being silly and laughing and arguing over people's answers. Then all of the "adults" decided to go to bed, so once again I started to get my things because I felt bad for staying for so long. The mom told me to stay again! So the "young kids" (friend, brother, Matt, and myself) went to the basement and played pool. I was on Matt's team and the whole group was talking about all sorts of random topics. Matt and I won twice in a row which is pretty amazing since I suck at pool. Though I did get a few balls in.

We went back upstairs and outside to the porch area to talk some more. My friend's brother is very deep and spiritual. He is 20 so I think he is just absorbing everything and talking about it before he even knows what it means. Needless to say, we had some very interesting conversations. We also talked about more relaxed topics like books and movies. He actually made some character analizations about myself that I had never though about before. It was was really kind of funny.

The group finally decided to call it a night. When I went inside, I saw that it was 1:30Am. Good grief! I was at that party for a very long time! I had a really great time too. I liked Matt a lot. He was nice, funny, smart, interesting, attractive. But part of me is like, what is the point? He lives in Philadelphia! What's the use? That might be my jaded and bitter side of life talking, but it could also be my rational side. Anyway, I facebooked him and said how it was nice to meet him and then added a little comment from one of our many discussion topics. He responded with him having been happy to meet me (with an exclamation point) and then thanked me for helping him show his cousins who is the boss at pool. And then nothing. Which is fine, right? I mean, I wasn't even expecting any comment back, so any is a good sign. I think. And I am really interested in his job and how he got into it so I think I might ask him about that. Should I just go into this as making a new friend? I should, shouldn't I? It's just hard for me sometimes because I want to be happy and dating someone, and when I meet someone who I like I get all weird and comjumbled (new word). It's like I don't know how to flirt, what to do, or even act normal. It's a terrible, terrible curse and I wish it would disappear.

So any advice? I would love some.

e Recap

Ok, it has definitely been awhile since the last posting. And I think it is about time for a recap.

Match #4 turned out to be kind of a creeper. We were planning on meeting up and then he texted me at 12:30 AM. And as my roommate once told me, anything after 11:00 PM is a booty call. Knowing this, and the fact that he is texting me after midnight before we have even met, I was a bit unsure. And in the previous e-mail, I suggested we get coffee. When he sent me the text, he said that we should go to Applebees or Red Robin. Now, I don't consider myself a snob, but really? Applebees or Red Robin? A) I thought we were getting coffee and B) Really? Those restaurants are not high on my list. So, I cut ties with him. I was incredibly put off by everything he had said and done and that's not a good start.

Match #5 I never got back to. I was meaning to, but my life has been so hectic that it's been a really long time since we last spoke. Plus, he drives a pedicab for a job. Here we go again, I am really not a snob, but I'm sorry, that's not a real job. Right? I mean he bikes people around DC for money. It's not even a cab where he has an actual car. So I am not going to be reuniting myself with him.

So now I would like to introduce you to Match #6. He is 31, white, lives in Annandale, 6'1" and works for the government. I thought I would try an older, hopefully more mature man. In his e-mails to me, it was like he had word vomit. He told me everything about his life and none of it was happy. He told me about his awful childhood, his parents divorce, his step brother dying, etc. And he asked weird questions like what my birth order is and he had just read 2 books about birth order. He also said that he cannot live without his cats. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and e-mailed him back. He responded with telling me that he left his job in the military b/c he couldn't do bad things to good people anymore, or something like that. He also wrote about how he doesn't believe in God b/c religion was forced on him as a child. And he wrote a paragraph about his cats. He ended his e-mail asking me why I put maybe for wanting kids. Um...what? Are we planning our future together already? It was all too much in such a short period of time. I don't plan on continuing correspondence, but if we did, I feel like I already know everything about him! What more is there to talk about?

AY yay yay! My membership to eharmony expires next week and I am out! This is too stressful and kind of disappointing. I am going to take the summer off and see where things end up for me in the fall. I am trying to make it through the next 2 months at work and am looking for a new job. I cannot handle dumb boys in addition.

Awesome. I feel great. Can't you tell?

Ugh...I don't know anymore

So I was supposed to get drinks with Ben last week. He flew off to Houston randomly for work (found out on Wednesday). My warning signals started to go off. But then he asked if I wanted to do something this weekend. So again, I was a little confused because it sounded like he still wanted to see me. So I called him on Thursday and left a message asking if he wanted to go see a movie maybe on Saturday. He text me Saturday afternoon saying he got in late and would be taking it easy that night. Which is weird b/c that's exactly what a movie is, but oh well. And there was no mention of future plans. So I am pretty sure that things are no longer. It's not a definite, but our communication all last week continued to put up red flags for me and then confuse me. I am disappointed and frustrated. I finally was starting to feel like there was nothing majorly wrong with me. I had continuous dates, sober kisses, and he was a gentleman. It was an incredible feeling. And I know that it was way early on in the "relationship" (for lack of a better word) but still, I had hopes for the future. If he calls, great. But I am not holding my breath.

I guess, the only other thing is to go back to the drawing board, although I don't want to. I know people are always telling me to practice and I get good stories or even dates out of it, but I want to quit. I hate this. I hate feeling dejected for unknown reasons. I hate being alone, but I hate the process even more. I honestly don't want to do this anymore. I know I have the choice, but I already feel like it would be the bad one if I chose not to continue going out.

So that leads us to...
Match #4

He is white, 6'1", 27, works in the government, lives in Reston, and says he is a Christian.
What is interesting about Match #4 is that he was the 1st person to ask me those stupid 1st 5 questions when I signed up mid-February. So...2 months ago. And we are just now at the final stage. I am pretty sure that he started dating someone and that didn't work out so now he is starting over. He seems like an ok fellow. Nothing too creepy about him; no mention of thongs or Saturday night/Sunday morning proposals. He asked me if I wanted to get together last weekend, but I was really busy so I suggested maybe coffee this week. He responded with Wednesday. I don't have anything going on, so physically I can do it. Though mentally and emotionally I feel like a robot. It's not exciting for me anymore. I am just waiting to be disappointed which is a horrible feeling.

And then there is Match #5
He is white, 6'2", 25, drives a pedicab (I am not lying), lives in Springfield, and also says he is a Christian. He is a Patriots fan, so that is a huge plus, but I am not getting a great vibe from him for some reason. Sure, I can be optimistic and give him a try anyway, but I am just not too confident about him. Maybe it's the fact that he rides a bike for work, or perhaps something else. He did give me his number and said that he can text all day if I feel like doing that. Okay, what? I find that a little strange, but maybe I am wrong.

So I guess I am going out on Wednesday, but I really don't want to. I would like to go back in time and erase last week with Ben and do it over. Or maybe God will rain down my future husband. That would be wonderful. With a sign that says, "Isabelle." Like the ones chauffeurs have when they pick up their guest at the airport.

As always, I will keep you posted. But I need a jolt to get me out of this cynical, cat lady funk.

Birthday Rehash

Well, my birthday was super fun.  A bunch of my friends and I had dinner in a Clarendon bar and then hopped over to a couple more places before the night was out. I hung out with Xavier a good deal and near the end of the night we had an interesting conversation.  I don't remember all of it because it was a week ago and we were both drunk, but we basically discussed how we might be better as just friends, not ruining any friendships.  At least, that's what I thought we were saying.  Before he left, he kissed me on the cheek and asked when he could see me again which got me thinking that maybe he'd been having a different conversation than me.  I decided not to worry about it.  It's been almost a week since we've talked, so maybe he was having the same conversation as me after all.

 

On Tuesday night I had dinner with Marchella and we discussed this and what had gone down when X's roommate, Kal, was hanging out at her apartment with her boyfriend, Bob.  I was the main subject of conversation that afternoon and Marchella was telling them how she could see X and I making a good couple and whatnot.  Bob casually pointed out that she was forgetting that X wasn't used to my type--a good girl--and might not be cool with the "no sex" thing.  Kal immediately was like, "Whaaa?"  Marchella reluctantly explained to him that I'm not having sex until I'm married and he told her that there was no way that X would go for that.  "That's because Kal would never go for that," Marchella explained to me, derisive of Kal who we've previously agreed is smarmy.

 

I told her that night and told Sophie, Isabelle, and Sandra the following night that it didn't matter to me because if a guy doesn't think that I'm worth the wait, then he isn't worth my time, either.  But it does sort of matter to me.  It's not like I think that I should just go out and lose my virginity to any guy I sort of like just to make it easier in the dating game, but it bothers me that guys might write me off as a prospect solely because of their low chances of getting laid.  I realize that I'm 27 and that holding out for this long seems freakish to many people, but it's important to me.  It's also not like I haven't done a ton of things that God would disapprove of, but this is one thing that I have, that I've been good about.  It hasn't been easy, either, but I made the decision a long time ago that I only wanted to sleep with my husband.  There were times that I considered doing it anyway; after all, Charlie promised that we were going to get married, so was it really a big deal if I cashed in my v-card with him?

 

But I didn't trust Charlie.  Sure, I trusted him the first time that we dated, back when I was 20 years old, but even though we got back together twice more and were together almost three years the last time, I was never even tempted to go all the way with him because I didn't fully trust that he'd marry me one day if I did.  And I was right not to trust him which has only proven to me that all the promises in the world about love and marriage and forever don't mean a thing until the wedding bands are exchanged.  And even then it's a crapshoot as to whether it will work out, but at least I will have gotten there safely.  No STDs, no pregnancies, and a man who will have proven that he loves and respects me enough to wait until I'm ready.

 

So if X and any other guys require sex from a relationship, then they aren't the right guys for me and that's okay.  And I don't think that sex was the deal-breaker for X; he's a good guy, but we're just better as pals who flirt.  If we had more than that and he wanted to be with me, I think that he'd wait.  But it's a little depressing to think that other guys out there WOULD list sex as a deal-breaker; because all that means to me is that my body interests them more than any other thing about me--my personality, my values, my intellect, etc.--combined.  So maybe hearing all this has been good for me because now I might be even more resolute than I was before.

 

Unrelated, X has agreed to go with me to Cesar's birthday party in June if Charlie also attends and he's agreed that we can flirt and make out in front of Charlie.  I realize that 27 is too old for that kind of immaturity, but I also think that it would be good drama for this blog.  Anything for the blog, right ladies?

Match #3, Date #3

I am officially tied my longest number of consecutive dates with the same man at 3! Can I get a what what?

This date description might be a little shorter than the previous two, but it's still exciting. Ben picked me up right on time at 2:00. I was slightly frustrated with what he was wearing, not b/c he looked bad (b/c he definitely looked good), but because I had spent the entire day before talking with friends about what I should wear. We were going to go hiking so I needed to be dressed appropriately, but still maintain the cute factor. He was in a long sleeved shirt and running shorts. I was wearing my good jeans, and a short sleeved shirt under a long one (thought it was going to be chillier than it was). I would rather have been in running shorts also. And what is the point of shaving if you are going to wear pants anyway?

We parked and he took out a backpack. I had made cookies that morning and brought a few along for a little sustenance on the hike. We put those in the bag and headed off. It was kind of tricky to talk while hiking. There were a lot of people on the trail b/c it was such a nice day and I was concentrating hard on not dying. At one point we were walking on top of rocks with a drop off to the river. Not to mention crevices between many of the rocks. Ben jumped over and continued on, but I am afraid of heights and was lightly paralyzed. I called him back and he reached his hands out to me and helped me across. I told him about my fear and he said that he had the same one. He could have fooled me! We got to the highest point and decided to take a seat and rest. He pulled out water bottles for us from the backpack and also my cookies (which were fantastic, PS). We talked some and just took in the views until we decided to continue on. I needed his help a couple of times, but it was kind of fun. A couple of times he would pull me across and I would land literally against him. Once or twice my free hand would grab his arm and let me tell you, he has nice arms (swimmer).

Once we had to climb straight up the side of the mountain and he said I should go first in case there were any loose rocks. Hah! So thoughtful. I did pretty well until the top when I couldn't position my feet right to move to the next stop. He slid over and again helped me up. I was quickly regretting my decision to wear jeans. It was a lot warmer than I was anticipating, and of course we were doing some crazy physical activity. At one point we were walking and my foot slipped and landed in a crater full of old, stagnant water. I yelled the S-word which I kind of regretted b/c neither of us really use that language, but it just caught me off guard. We sat for a little bit after that, trying to cool off and rest.

We started talking about traveling, work, our shared love of James Bond, all types of things. Hiking kind of made it less of a pressure to fill in the silence, it was nice. Eventually we made it back to the footpath! We started talking about sports and he wanted to guess which two Patriots jerseys I owned. He got them both right on the 1st try. I was highly impressed. We also talked about roommates and were making jokes. I wish we could have held hands on the walk back to the car b/c it was on even ground, but we never did.

We were driving back to my place and started talking about music. I told him that my 1st CD was Wilson Phillips. He said that he couldn't tell me his b/c it was far worse. I asked if I could guess. I got it right on the 2nd try. Not too shabby I think. I won't mention it b/c it is pretty embarrassing. We got to my house and he asked me if I was free to maybe get a drink later in the week. I said definitely, just not on Tuesday. He said okay, a non-Tuesday day it is. He would call me in a couple of days to talk about day, place, time. Then he leaned in and we kissed. When we stopped he said that he would walk me to my door. While we were walking I thanked him for being so gentlemanly. And said that living with the 3 guys that I do, I really appreciate when he does all that he does. It might have been corny, but I didn't want him to think that I was ungrateful. We kissed again. A little longer and deeper than the car kiss. I was somewhat aware that it was light outside and neighbors were probably around, but I didn't care that much. The kiss ended and we said goodbye.

I walked inside ecstatic. Not only am I on my way to my 1st 4th date, but I am genuinely happy. It is so refreshing having something else to think about in my life. And something that is exciting and makes me feel good! I don't have much of that right now. And this is all new to me so it's extra special. What I also like about it all is that I am a mature adult. So even though I am excited and happy, I am able to still be calm about it when I need to be. So privately, or with friends, I may be super giddy, but I am not a 16 year old who doesn't know how to handle herself. Also, I am just taking one day at a time. I am not wondering whether or not he could be "the one" I am just enjoying each date that we have. I think that's all I can do.

Side note: both times that we made out on my front step, we stopped and he drove away no more than 2 minutes before a roommate appeared. It's actually kind of crazy and amazing that it worked out that way. I am not ready to explain this whole thing to them.

Caps Game Cometh

Last night I went to the Capitals game with Xavier, two of his roommates, a girl friend of all of theirs that I've met a couple of times at parties (Dana), and another girl who was the date of one of the roommates (Maria).  I had a lot of fun; I like hockey well enough even though I don't follow it, so it was fun just to be there, but it was made better by it being an awesome game.  X and I talked a lot about tons of different stuff.  Going in, I wasn't sure if this was a friends date or a date date or what, but I think that it wound up being somewhere in between...or maybe a friends date that turned into a real date.  I also found out that one of the reasons why he wasn't sure about asking me out was because Marchella's boyfriend, Bob, apparently fed X's roommate, Kal, a ton of misinformation about me--more than I was already aware of.  I'm mostly amused, but I'll have to see if I can get revenge on Bob somehow.  X let me know that it's kind of unusual for him to date a friend and he was concerned about starting something up with me, having it end badly and then losing Sophie, Dwight, and I as friends (because we're kind of a weird package deal), but then he figured that we're adults and can handle it.  So I guess that's how we're starting things off.

 

Anyway, at some point during the game, X rested his arm on the back of my seat and that eventually moved to my shoulders--which was nice because it was cold in there even though I was wearing a sweater.  Normal stuff.  Actually, the most interesting thing to happen that night was with Maria.  When X and another roommate got up to get more beers, this girl suggested that we steal their seats so the three of us could talk until they came back.  We did and started chatting just as the Kiss Cam came on.  I awwed over it, but Maria pretentiously said that she didn't like how hetero-centric it was.  What the eff?  "Well, it's always a man and a woman," she sniffed self-righteously.

 

I looked at her funny, I'm sure, and remarked that the powers that be would have no way of knowing if a couple was gay or not.  They don't even know if a man and woman sitting together are even in a couple, as evidenced by a guy shaking his head resolutely at the camera when it landed on him and a woman beside him.  I'm stereotyping here, but I don't think that hockey games are exactly a mecca for gay couples.  Then she made a comment to myself and Dana, "If you were girls...oh, well, of course you're girls.  Sorry, I'm just used to speaking in gender-neutral language."  Oh.  My.  God.  If you don't know what gender neutral language is, it's like using "businesspeople" instead of "businessmen or businesswomen."  And it's stupid.  Also, it's unnecessary in a non-professional environment, which this clearly was.  I was quite unimpressed with her, but I still talked to her for another minute or two before the guys came back and we were once again separated by four people.

 

After the game, we split from the guys so that we could all use the bathrooms before we left.  As soon as it was just the three of us girls, Maria turned to me and asked, "Are you going to make out with that boy?  Because you are way too good for him!"

 

"Uhhh, I don't know?" I said, looking at Dana helplessly.  I had gotten the impression that X knew Maria pretty well, but she didn't even remember his name.

 

"Well, you're way too good looking for him.  You can make out with anyone that you want, so you don't have to settle."

 

"Um, thanks?"  I didn't want to be rude and tell her that she was out-of-line, but I also didn't like that she was being rude.  Then she asked Dana if she was on a date with the third roommate.  Dana replied that they're just friends.

 

"Well, you're way too good looking to be with him, too.  Both of you girls are so much better than them."

 

"Do you even know X?" I asked, finally gaining some balls.  When she confirmed that she really didn't, I simply said, "He's a really great guy," and I looked over at Dana as if to say, I'm doing the best that I can here.  What is wrong with this girl!?  I really wanted to pull Dana aside to talk about it, but she and I were never alone for the rest of the night.  After the bathrooms, we met back up with the guys and Maria left with her guy and the rest of us started heading toward the Metro, but decided to stay out and watch the NCAA Basketball Championship game instead.

 

X and I sat together and kind of held hands beneath the table.  After Ruby Tuesdays, we went to the Metro and split up because I was taking the Yellow Line and they were grabbing the Orange.  I told him that I'd had a really great time and he said that he'd see me Friday at my birthday dinner.  Then he kissed me good night and said, "Now go get your train."  And so I did.  Overall, a pretty good date.

 

But what was up with that girl!?

Carson the Law Student

In the second semester of my Junior year of college, Dwight and I took one of the same English courses.  Also in the class was a guy named Carson.  I thought that he was hot, but I was dating Charlie, so I didn't even talk to the guy much.  Fast forward to the first semester of Senior year.  This was one of my "off" times with Charlie and Carson was in another English class with me; he also turned out to be good friends / former roommates with Alex, another guy in the class who I'd done a project with in yet another English class that summer (can you tell that I was an English major?).  Alex and Carson quickly became my class buddies; I thought that they were both hot, but I preferred Carson.  I'm not sure what it was about him, because Sophie thought that he was unattractive, but I lusted after him like crazy.  No matter what off-putting thing he might say or do, I was attracted.  This wasn't the first time that I was attracted to a jerk, but it's one of the more obvious instances.  I'm even kind of afraid that if I ever see him again, I'll still be that attracted because there have really only ever been two guys that I've been THAT attracted to: Carson and Nathan.  Suck on that, Charlie.

 

Anyway, Carson and I hung out a few times at parties.  I attended one at his apartment that fall.  A few friends came with me, but they only stayed about an hour before heading over to a party at Charlie's house (and he definitely found out that I was at another party with a guy, but I don't remember much about that except that I heard he acted jealous).  This left me at a party where I only knew one person--Carson--and the few people that he'd introduced me to.  It was also the first time that I realized that I don't need a passel of friends around me; I simply started talking to a couple girls by the beer pong table, then talked to people on the balcony while I refilled my drink from the keg.  I was kind of proud of myself because Carson didn't have to baby-sit me; I think that he was impressed, too.

 

Later, when the party was dying down, we went to his bedroom and...did stuff.  Not sex and not oral sex (though he asked if I would), but other stuff.  It was fun, I guess.  I spent the night and he drove me home the next morning.  We still talked after that, and he even came to a drama-filled party with me (Charlie's old roommates' apartment and Charlie himself was there) and held my hair back for me when I threw up into a trashcan.  We continued to flirt a lot, but nothing more ever came from it.  I lost touch with him after I stopped using Instant Messenger until one drunken night the subject of Carson came up with Sophie.  She suggested that I just friend him because he'd probably accept the friend request and I'd never hear from him again.  So a week or two later, I did (even though I was sober by then).  I didn't expect to hear from him.

 

Saturday night, I did.  Right as I was about to go to bed, sometime after 2am, he messaged me on Facebook chat.  I was more than a little surprised, but I responded...and we wound up talking until 4am.  Not about anything important, just random stuff.  He's finishing up his second year of law school right now, but I have no idea what he did in the three years between college and going back to school.  I mentioned something about turning 27 soon and he was like, "Your birthday is on Thursday, right?"  As I confirmed that, he typed, "Is it weird that I remember that?" at the same time that I asked, "Did you look at my profile page?"  He claims to have just remembered.

 

Now here's where my lack of lie-dar comes in.  Even though my first assumption was that he looked it up, I'm inclined to believe that he just remembered for two reasons.  First, I have a ridiculous memory for names and numbers and data like that, so why couldn't he?  Second, his birthday is April 19th, so he could have just remembered because the dates are close together.  I'm much better about remembering peoples' birthdays if they're close to my own, so it's a possibility.  Is it far more likely that he looked it up?  Absolutely.  But why would someone lie about that?  Seems unnecessary.

 

Anyway, we left it at it being good to talk after all this time and that we should again.  We shall see.  He and I have very different political views, so I don't think that a relationship would ever work out, even in the short-term.  But I wouldn't mind grabbing a drink and just hanging out.  Maybe he can introduce me to some lawyer friends that DO have similar political beliefs to me.

Xavier and More

Okay, I have a lot to update.  After my last post on Monday the 22nd, I was just about to start writing a post about my friend Xavier's party when Facebook e-mailed me to let me know that Nathan had commented on my status.  My heart sped up and my face got warm before I read the innocuous joke.  I hadn't talked to him since New Years', so I was kind of shocked to hear from him--especially because the day before I had changed my News Feed settings to exclude anything from him and Charlie.  Timing is everything.  Anyway, I got over it.  Then he happened to call his youngest brother when a group of us were hanging out at their other brother, Nelson's house on that Saturday night...and happened to call his sister-in-law when Sophie and I were hanging out with her on this past Friday night.  It's like he has a radar for when I'll be around so that I'm forced to remember him.

 

But let's move on.  My friend Xavier had a party with his housemates, so Sophie, Dwight, and I attended along with Marchella and her boyfriend and a few other friends of ours.  These parties are always super fun, with Rock Band going on in one room and flip cup going on in the other.  Xavier and I are almost unstoppable when we're on the same flip cup team, so we carried on that tradition.

 

Xavier recently broke up with his girlfriend of almost a year.  He and I have known each other for almost two years, having met at a mutual friend's birthday party while I was still dating Charlie.  Xavier and I sat talking for a while and really hit it off as friends.  We cemented that friendship later that evening as beer pong partners when Charlie chose not to play with me because he wanted to be on a "winning" team.  Xavier and I demolished him.  Ha!

 

Now that X is single and I'm single and I've written off The Fourth, Sophie decided that I should date X.  I was surprised when she told me that because I've always had a mini-crush on him, but I'm pretty sure that I didn't say anything about it.  Anyway, I decided to flirt with him at the party and see what happened.  I didn't count on Sophie pretty much suggesting to X that he and I should date.  It seemed like after that suggestion got out, everyone seemed to pounce on it.  According to Sophie, X seems a little wary of the idea--we might just really be too different, it could go south, and he saw me and The Fourth together at my party back in February.  Oops?

 

But he flirted with me anyway and at one point told me that I was looking really good that night.  We challenged anyone who wanted to play against just the two of us in flip cup and beat a team of five twice--and then were beaten by a single opponent.  I hit a point where I couldn't drink anymore, so he took over against the other girl, but I had to kiss him on the cheek a few times--for luck, of course.  That girl, our friend Cesar's girlfriend (Cesar is the guy whose birthday party we met at), flat out told him that he should ask me out.  Our friends are not ones for subtlety.  Before I left, we had a long, drawn out hug.  He told me that I should come over and hang out sometime, and I responded that he should invite me.  Apparently they're used to just having people drop in, but I view an open invitation as no invitation, so I wouldn't just come over.  He said that I had his number so I should contact him sometime, but I said that he had mine, too, trying to make it clear to him that I'm not going to do all of the work.  He received that message and I think that he said that he'd talk to me soon or something.

 

Afterwards, I wondered if he was too drunk to remember any of that, but I didn't let it concern me, either.  If he never asked me out, we'd still be friends with no harm done.  At dinner that Tuesday night, I filled Marchella in on things, even though she had been there to witness most of it.  I also discovered that once upon a time she had told the guys that I would only date Catholics or super Catholics or something, which isn't true.  Sure, I'd love to marry a guy who already has the same faith as me, but it's not at the top of my list.  That weekend, X's roommate, Kal, came to Marchella's place to play video games with her boyfriend, Bob.  I was brought up, Marchella retracted her earlier statements about my supposed Catholic-only desires, and Kal apparently went and told X who texted me on Monday night.  He said that there were a lot of rumors going around and that he'd give me a call when he got back from a business trip and that we could sort some of them out.  When he told me that he'd heard that I was a socialist, I texted him back that Bob was a dirty liar and that I'm not a socialist at all--not even close.  That's when I figured that Bob/Kal/X had been gossiping, so I e-mailed Marchella and she filled me in on the above.  And that she'd suggested to Kal that X had maybe missed his shot with me.  I don't know why she said that.

Anyway, he called me on Friday night and asked what I was doing Monday night (tonight).  "Um...nothing," I said, unable to remember if I had anything scheduled.

 

"Wrong, you're coming with us to the Caps game," he said.

 

"Okay!" I agreed automatically.  As if I would turn down a sporting event.

 

He said that there was a lot of stuff going around about the two of us, but that, as he saw it, we're friends and maybe we should just hang out a little more often and kind of see what happens--and that we'd talk about all the rumors flying around.  I agreed.

 

So I got up at the buttcrack of dawn this morning to go to the gym before work just so that I can rush over to the Verizon Center as soon as I get off--and after I change clothes.  Since I need to park at Pentagon City Mall before I Metro over, I also might see if I can't buy a red t-shirt first.  Caps colors, of course.

Match #3, Date #2

I went on my 2nd date with Ben on Friday. I will try to tell only the highlights so it's not too long.

He picked me up a little after 6:30 and we drove (in his Lexus) to Chinatown where we went to this really nice sushi restaurant. We ordered edamame as an appetizer, then 4 different types of sushi to share, and the wine tasting option. This means that they bring you 3 different types of wine throughout the meal. We were just talking about all sorts of things. Lila and Sophie gave me some topic ideas. And for the record, I am awful at chopsticks. It was embarrassing, but also kind of great b/c we were laughing really hard about a particular piece that I had. It was huge, so the blame is not all mine. I am ashamed at how I must have looked trying to eat it. Ben was pretending to look away, but I know that he was watching, horrified and amused.

We then walked to Metro Center station where we took the metro to Dupont Circle. We walked to a cafe/bookstore place for dessert. After we put our names on the waiting list we each used the bathroom and then waited for them to call us. We were seated and the dessert menu was amazing. He ordered his favorite: peach cobbler, and I ordered the mixed berry crumble. We also got Hot Scotch which is hot chocolate mixed with butterscotch schnapps. It was delicious. I was drinking so much water b/c everything was so sweet. We continued to talk and were making jokes about our plan for the rest of the night: go to Adams Morgan and eat at the Jumbo Slice, then go somewhere else and eat some more (I forgot what it was), and then end the night at Ihop. I had to go to the bathroom again, but felt weird going twice in the same spot, so I decided to hold it.

We got back on the metro and took it to Chinatown to get the car. Then he drove us to the monuments. PS: I am very cold at this point. I have a skirt, lacy top, and a short, thin sweater. My fashion expert, when choosing my outfit, forgot that when the sun goes down, it gets chilly. His plan was to start at the WWII Memorial, then to the Jefferson Memorial (b/c he knew TJ is my favorite president), and finally to the FDR Memorial. When we were leaving the Jefferson to go to the FDR one, we started walking in the wrong direction. He grabbed my hand and said that we should go the other way. And then we continued to hold hands. It was absolutely amazing. No guy has ever held my hand before. I didn't want to let go. The feeling of comfort I felt is hard to express. Ben suggested we sit for a little when we reached the FDR Memorial. We went to a bench by the river. It was really peaceful and nice to finally sit after all of that walking. We continued talking and asking each other questions, and then he said, "I have a good one. Are you a good kisser?" He is pretty smooth when he asks these types of questions, I have to say. I replied that I thought so since no one had complained. He said that he would just have to see for himself. So we started kissing. It was pretty nice. It was also the 1st kiss I have ever had where both parties were sober. I lead a very sad and pathetic life. We heard people coming near so we broke apart. He made a strange comment about me being alright or something like that. I told him that he was not to bad himself. But I couldn't completely tell if he was being funny or actually kind of insulting. We decided to head back to the car since it was getting late. I was really cold at this point and he offered me his jacket. I seriously had to go to the bathroom now, but there were no bathrooms in sight!

We were walking back to the car, holding hands again. Love that. We were still talking and one of his questions was what is my favorite flower. I couldn't help thinking that he might get them for me. We were waiting to cross the street when he asked me if I thought we had walked off the dessert yet. I said that I thought we had, but perhaps not the Hot Scotch. He opened the car door for me and then when we were both buckled, he said that he wanted to work off a little more of the Hot Scotch. So he leaned in and kind of turned my head towards him. We kissed more and then unfortunately stopped. He started to drive me home. When we were close, he asked me if I was going to be much busier now that Spring Break is over. I said that I shouldn't be too busy, just a little grading here and there. He asked me if I would like to hang out again next week. I said that I would. He then said that he would call me in a couple of days to plan something. He walked me to my door and we kind of made out again, at my doorstop. We parted and I went inside and then ran to the bathroom. It is 1:30 AM! My date lasted 7 hours! And I had to pee for about 4 of those hours. Thanks goodness I am a teacher and have a trained bladder.

So post-date thoughts: 1) a 2nd date lasting 7 hours, that's a good sign right? 2) And the fact that we kissed 3 times is also a good sign, right? I mean, I can't be that bad if we kissed 3 times. 3) I think I am starting to really like this guy and I am afraid that he won't call. I mean he hasn't let me down so far, but for the 1st time, I am getting excited about a guy. I want him to call. I want to continue down this path that I am on and see what it's like to be dating someone. I think I deserve it. I am 26 years old and am a good person. I deserve a little happiness and excitement in my life. But it has already been a couple of days. What if I blew it on the date? Or at the end of it? What if he is not interested anymore? I just hope he calls.

Match #3

Okay, so Match #1 has not written back since his question asking me about thongs vs. boyshorts and I responded with my permission that he could wear thongs if he wanted to.

So...on to Match #3!!

Match #3 is 27, a CPA, 6 Ft, Asian, and lives in Alexandria. We had been e-mailing back and forth and then he asked me if I wanted to meet up. He was real polite about it, asking me if it was too soon, we could wait. I said, let's go for it.

We met at a coffee shop in McLean at 6:30 last night. I got there a little early so I waited in my car and watched people walk in. I was pretty sure he had just gone inside, so I decided to leave the comfort of my car and walk in. he was fixing his coffee and sort of waiting at the door at the same time. I walked in and he turned around. I thought he was really cute at first. We were sort of just staring at each other and I asked if he was Ben. He said yes and I said I was Isabelle. We shook hands and did the "nice to meet you" business. I went to go get my tea (I gave coffee up for lent) and then met him back at the "mixing station." If was kind of cool out, but not many seats inside, so we grabbed a table outside. Thank goodness for heat lamps. Unfortunately, I never unzipped my jacket to show my outfit ensemble, but it was too cold.

We talked a lot about all of the normal date topics. Favorite x, y, and z. Where did you go to school? What do you do? Why did you join eharmony? etc. etc. etc. He is actually pretty funny. I mean not laugh out loud-hold your sides funny, but he actually has a sense of humor which is a must for me. He is also very nice. We were playing "would you rather" though not the dirty version of course. Would you rather go out or cook? He would rather cook. Score one for me! Would you rather go out during the week or weekend? We both said weekend for big things, but week for smaller things. Pancakes or waffles? Both said pancakes. And then he said that he had a really good one but didn't want to say it yet. I was intrigued, but didn't want to press too much. We played a little more and then he did his final one. Would you rather make future plans now or have me call you? Aww, it was kind of cute. I said that we could make initial plans now and then he could call if he wanted to. We decided that the best night would be Friday. He wants to go sight-seeing around DC since it's supposed to be nice. I am kind of excited. I don't usually walk around DC at night for leisure. And I am super pumped that it is supposed to be nice out. At least, I think we are going out at night. He has to work, so I can't imagine that we would be going during the day.

He said that he was also going to call me later and we can confirm plans. It has been so effing long since I last had a 2nd date. Like a seriously really sad, long time. I am excited about the whole thing. I like him. He is nice and funny and smart and tall. He is actually 6ft tall and not fake online 6ft tall, which is key since I am 5'10". We decided to head out since it was getting to be late. He walked me to my car! It was so refreshing! Chivalry is not dead! I was blown away because I live with 3 assholes who pose as guys. He was the real thing. At my car he said that it was nice to meet me again and I returned the sentiment. We hugged and then I got in and drove away.

So all in all I think it was a pretty successful night! It had it's normal amount of expected awkwardness, perhaps a little bit more, but we are going on a 2nd date which has to account for something!

One question though: What do people in relationships talk about? My goodness! We were both out of conversation starters partway through and then stared off into space to try to think of more. It's a little hard to judge the chemistry because we were both pretty nervous. At least, I was. So maybe that's why things didn't flow? I don't know. But seriously, what do you talk about?

The Update with The Fourth

Two weeks ago, The Fourth casually asked if I'd go shoe shopping with him and I said that I would.  Then it never happened.  I was more than a little ticked off, even though we never decided a time, because I thought that this was his lame way of asking me out.  But he blew it.  I talked to him on that Sunday night and then e-mailed Sophie about it the next day...once again, here's an e-mail:

To: Sophie (15 March 2010, 2:34pm)

The Fourth messaged me[...]saying, "Don't worry, I didn't go shopping without you."  Oh, thank God.  I was so worried that he might have saved me from wasting my time helping him.  When I asked if he'd forgotten, he said that his dad came home early and "turned into Mr. A-hole / Mr. Clean" so he had to do chores.  My response:  "Wow.  You're 27 years old and you couldn't go out because your dad wouldn't let you?" He claimed that because he only pays $400/month in rent (um, ONLY? That's a lot for living with parents, especially when said parents can ground you from going shopping), he doesn't mind having to clean.  Whatever.  That's stupid as hell.

Anyway, over the course of the conversation, I mentioned, "Yeah, I was surprised when you had friended me on here because I didn't remember ever telling you my last name."  He confirmed that I hadn't; he'd gotten his dad to forward him an e-mail that I'd sent[...]and gotten my last name from that.  Then he said, "When he forwarded it, he said that you were cute, giving his approval.  And my dad never likes the girls that I date."

I can't remember if I laughed at this or yelled at the computer.  "WE ARE NOT DATING!  YOU HAVE TO ASK SOMEONE OUT FOR THERE TO BE A DATE!"  I forget what I actually said in response.  At this point, I've decided that I don't want him to ask me out.  I'm tired of all of this.  Moving on,

He'd asked something about my breakup with Charlie and asked if I'd picked out some new guy before we broke up.  I told him that I was loyal in a relationship and wasn't on the lookout for other guys.  He sent a :D face which ticked me off because he has no business being happy about that!  So I said, "But until I'm actually IN a relationship, everything's free game."  He replied, "So to lock you up, someone has to ask you out on a date?" 

NO FREAKING SH*T!  YES!  That is why WE aren't dating, idiot!  But I couldn't say, "Yes" because he might have actually asked me out then.  Instead, I said, "A single date would not lock me up."  Then he asked how many and I told him that I couldn't really give an answer to that because I didn't know.  I thought that he was going to ask me out right then, but he didn't.  I might have changed the subject.

Much like today.  We e-mail back and forth and this is an excerpt of our exchange:

The Fourth:  Do you wear tight figure hugging clothes to show off for me?  I enjoy the eye candy!
Lila:  Nope, I do it for me. [Actually, I do it for ANY man I might run into]
The Fourth:  Well, I would like to thank you for doing for yourself.  And unknowingly doing it for me as well!  :)
Lila:  You're welcome.  [No, you're not]
The Fourth:  :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)   [Shut up, shut up, shut up]
Lila:  Oh, actually I lied; I'm doing it for Jack Bauer.  I'm seeing him tonight.  [When all else fails, change the subject to Jack Bauer]
The Fourth:  Are you sleeping with Jack?  I will understand if you want me to stop hitting on you and leave you be so you and Jack can have crazy babies together. [Admits to hitting on me; still ball-less]
Lila:  Um, you mean crazy AWESOME babies.  And we're not sleeping together; we're waiting until we're married.  [I can't even fantasize about being slutty]
The Fourth:  Yes.  Excuse me.  I meant to say CRAZY AWESOME BABIES!
Lila:  You're excused.  [I felt like I had to respond with something.]
The Fourth:  Well, have a nice life with Jack.  Looks like I am back to the drawing board.  :P [You've never even left the effing drawing board]
Lila:  Thanks, I'm sure that he and I will be very happy together.  When he's not being tortured by terrorists.
The Fourth:  So how do we break off this relationship?  Just say our good byes or just stop talking to each other all together?
Lila:  What relationship?
The Fourth:  Excuse me.  Our friendship....
Lila:  What friendship?
The Fourth:  Well, That answers that question....PEACE!
Lila:  Aww, take a joke.  [I feel slightly bad, but mostly annoyed that he can't take a joke]

I laughed out loud with the "What relationship?" thing.  But honestly, he can't seem to take a joke.  Sure it's a mean joke, but that's what I do!  This is his thing:  to get all fake-mopey (at least I hope it's fake) so that I'll be like, "Oh, I'm just kidding!  You're the greatest!" and I'm not going to do that. 

And so.  No more getting on Facebook chat.  I'm sick of this.  Even if he ever got the nerve to ask me out, he's officially a wimp.  A sensitive-can't-take-a-joke-at-his-expense- ball-less-wimp.  When I joked that his father forwarding my e-mail was a breach of something, he said that he was just being PROACTIVE.  I did laugh out loud then.  He's the least proactive person ever.


Then he and I didn't talk for about six days.  It just worked out that he was never in his office when I came in in the morning (except for Friday morning when I went in another way--on purpose) and, true to my word, I didn't go on Facebook chat.  But he e-mailed me today about something with football and I responded.  Just friendly, though and no flirting.

Birthday Texts

My birthday was last week and I receive 2 very interesting texts. Well, maybe one was less interesting, but is still somewhat noteworthy.


Birthday text number 1:

From Kansas, sent 1:08 PM


"Happy stinking birthday!"

Obviously, nothing scandalous or sexy, but we have been kind of off ever since the trip. I was shocked that he A) remembered and B) chose to do something about it. Plus who puts the word stinking in a happy birthday text?

Birthday text number 2:

From Brian, sent 1:34 PM

"Happy Birthday Hun! Hope you have a great one!"

This one is a little more exciting to analyze. For one, we have not spoken, (text, facebook, phone,) since my text to him New Years Eve. So two months later he decides to send me a text. Not on any random day, but my birthday. Which sure, makes sense b/c he was being kind I guess, but that was a pretty bold move for someone who left things so inadequately. I mean, he could have sent the message on facebook if he wanted to tell me. And he is using the "Hun" word again. I really cannot stand that word.

So, Brian randomly made contact. On my birthday. Through text. And called me Hun. Bizarre.

I did not text him back because I really had nothing to say. I feel like "thanks" is assumed, so I left it as it was.

Thank goodness for margaritas.