Pray For Me

So I did it. I joined eharmony. My friends continually encouraged me to join and I kept putting it off. I don't know what possessed me to sign up now, but I did. Maybe it's because my birthday is around the corner and I am tried of being alone. I really have no idea. I thought that if nothing else, I may get a couple of free dinners and great blog stories out of the whole thing.

I have a few matches and answered some guy's questions. Nothing else really right now. I am still trying to get the hang of it. I will definitely keep you updated on what happens. And I am thinking that instead of giving each match a name, I am just going to give them numbers according to the chronological invite to a meeting or whatnot.

So...pray for me and pray for match #1.

Kansas: Day 3/4 and Aftermath

Sunday:

The 5 of us all sat down to breakfast a little after 9 prepared by the wife. Kansas was going to take the Mormon to a girls tennis match so he could meet one more person. He asked AZ and me if we wanted to go. We said sure just as long as it was inside. Kansas asked his wife if she wanted to go and she said no. So again, it was me and the boys. We took 2 cars because the Mormon wanted to go to church after the match. AZ went with the Mormon and I rode with Kansas.

We were talking about a bunch of different things including my possibility of actually moving out west whether it be to Arizona or Kansas. I said that since I have no job I really have every possibility available to me. He said that his roommate will be moving out in May so I can move in to the second bedroom. Are we all grasping this? He invited me to move in with him and his wife! I am about 100% sure that he has not discussed this with his wife which means he is doing it without her knowledge, or he is banking on the hope that I don't actually follow through with it. I kind of shrugged it off because I had no idea how to respond. Even if I ever move to Kansas, the thought of living with him has never entered my mind. I have some idea of boundaries.

We leave the game and the Mormon drives to church. AZ, Kansas, and I get into the car and are heading home. We were talking about how sad it was that we were leaving the next day. Kansas made the comment that we wouldn't be as good of friends once we leave. AZ and I are like, what? And he tried again with saying that it would be different b/c we won't be face to face anymore, the proximity factor will obviously be changed. And then he said, "And I won't be able to do this anymore" (lower thigh grab). We were also talking about what it would be like if I moved in with AZ and how Kansas could come and visit the both of us in one spot.

We got back to the house, showered, and hung out for a little bit. We were all going to go to a monster truck rally and leave about 1:15. Then the Mormon was going to be picked up for the airport and then Kansas, wife, AZ, and me were going to go to church. Afterwards, AZ and I were going to make dinner for all of us. The wife invited a girl friend to come with us. The friend had to cancel because of a meeting and then the wife decided to bail. I thought it was odd that she didn't want to go just b/c one of her friends couldn't. So she stayed behind and went to a movie while the rest of us got on the road.

As we were driving, there apparently was a microburst. Which means that there are 80 mph winds, like a tornado but they don't spin, just go straight. So there ended up being 2 car pileups on the highway totaling 70 cars. Needless to say, we are completely stuck on the highway. After almost 2 hours in the car, men peeing in the woods (lucky bastards), and jamming out to music, we finally decide to turn around and drive on the shoulder, going in the wrong direction of the interstate. We finally find a break in the median and go to the correct side of the highway. The truck rally is out of the question and we now have limited time before the Mormon had to get to the airport. We also now have to cancel on meeting the wife at church. I can tell that Kansas is kind of disappointed about how the day is turning out. I mean it is Valentine's Day after all.

The wind is absolutely ridiculous and it's also snowing. It is definitely cold and pretty miserable. We end up going to a outdoor hunting/restaurant spot. It is absolutely huge! We get some lunch and are having a good time. Then we go exploring through the store. We shoot arrows with bows, hold $2000 guns, and check out large knives. Then it was time to leave. We got back into the car and took the Mormon to the airport. I was actually really sad to see him go. For a couple of reasons actually 1) I really like being with him. He was funny and nice. 2) it was kind of returning to reality and remembering that I was leaving the next day.

As we were heading home we stopped by the grocery store to get ingredients for the dinner. Kansas also bought a V day card and a present for the wife. The present would be coat hangers. He bought her coat hangers. He said that it was perfect b/c she wanted them and he was going to give them to her anyway. Hmm...okay then.

We returned to the house around 7:30 and started cooking. Kansas and the wife disappear upstairs for a solid 10 or so minutes. AZ made the comment that what if they were having sex and that he was going to ask as soon as one of them came down. Um, gross. PS: Can I just say that I love AZ? While we were cooking he started dancing with me in the kitchen even though there was no music. That is the type of guy that I love.

Dinner was delicious and so was dessert (ice cream). We cleaned up and then a couple of friends came over and we were watching the Olympics and then the wife went to bed at 10. We started playing a very complicated and intricate board game. But we were all so tired and having a good time, that it was a lot of fun.

**side note: One of the girls playing the game with us has this weird condition where whenever she expresses strong emotions she becomes paralyzed. Apparently it was really bad that night because she hadn't gotten much sleep. But every time someone made a funny joke, her head came crashing down to the kitchen table. We had to get a pillow and her boyfriend was constantly grabbing her as she went down. It was by far the craziest and kind of funniest thing I have ever seen.

Throughout the game, Kansas was periodically blocking my pieces and I would give him a glare. And call him by his full name. He would respond with "I love you, Isabelle" or "you know I love you." Really? We can't think of anything else to say?

The friends left about 1:00 AM and we went to the living room. Kansas and AZ started to play Modern Warfare. I went to the oversized chair and laid down to watch. They said that they were only going to play until 2. I was watching for a little and then I fell asleep. I would kind of wake up periodically and check out what they were doing. Sometimes Kansas would look over at me and say something like "Hey sleepy head" or "Hi Isabelle" with a smile. Later on I noticed that something was different and found that the boys had turned off the game. It was 4 AM. We were talking a little about the plan for the morning. Then Kansas fell over the rim of the chair and was kind of half laying on me. He patted my head some and then hoisted himself up. I eventually got enough energy to get myself to my room.

Monday:

Being completely exhausted, we drove to the airport. Kansas dedicated a song to me before he let me out of the car. I was the first to get dropped off. I was hoping to be 2nd, but I have no control over how the airport arranges its terminals. We gave and received hugs, made plans to see each other again next month in Arizona, and I fought off tears. And of course we cannot forget that Kansas has offered to drive me cross country to Arizona this summer if I choose to move there. Both boys asked me to give them a call once I made it home. I talked briefly with AZ when I got home, but had to leave a message for Kansas.

Conclusion:

I really enjoyed my trip. I loved spending time with Kansas and Arizona. And I really enjoyed hanging out with the Mormon. I felt great about myself. I felt confident and happy. Kansas definitely crossed some strange lines with his thigh grabbing and love comments. I don't feel like I did anything wrong. And I am a little disappointed that I won't be able to see them all next month. I might still visit over my spring break, but who knows?

Post Trip:

Throughout the week AZ and I were texting a little bit. Just small quotes from the weekend. Never heard anything from Kansas until Saturday night (20th). He called but I missed it b/c I was at a cocktail party hosted by Lila! He also sent a text that said: "Meet me in Arizona. March 17-22." I texted him back this morning saying that I couldn't go then. My break doesn't begin until the 26th.

Kansas: Day 2

Saturday:

We woke up pretty early because we were going to get breakfast and the Mormon had a meeting with someone at the same restaurant. He was interviewing with KU athletics in the compliance department (whatever that means). The wife was having brunch with friends somewhere else and left after we did, so we still haven't seen her. So it was just the 3 of us again eating. Absolutely fantastic. We had a lot of fun talking, reminiscing, joking, etc. I asked Kansas how old the Mormon was because he looked so young. He said that he was 28, had already been on his mission, went to law school, and passed the bar exam. I was like, hello! That is one accomplished individual. Too bad that he lives far away and believes in a religion that I do not. After we finished, Kansas went over to the Mormon's table and talked some with them as AZ and I walked around the area.

We got back to the house around noon and about 30 minutes later, the wife finally arrived. Gross. We all said hello and hung out while watching the Olympics. She and Kansas were sharing a large chair/love seat and were all cuddly with their blanket and dogs. It made me sick. And it's not because it was him and her. I am not a fan of PDA in general. Kansas also gave us the KU t-shirts he had bought for us to wear at the game. I was starting to get really excited about the day.

She made a large meal for us to eat and tie us over until the game ended. The 5 of us sat down around the table and had a good time talking again. She didn't say a lot because she doesn't really seem to have much of a personality. It's kind of sad really. We were going to leave extra early for the game so that Kansas can show us around his office and the athletic center. The wife did not want to come so early to the game, so once again, it was me and the boys. I think I heard angels singing. On the ride over, we were listening to a bunch of music and the boys were all rocking out. It was pretty funny. They were playing songs that I hadn't heard before and were almost serenading me. Very amusing. One of the songs was "All The Pretty Girls."

I have forgotten to mention that periodically while driving, I would be in the passenger seat b/c I am the only girl and it's obviously the best seat. Kansas would sometimes tap on my leg as we were singing with the music, or squeeze the area right above my knee. Not really the thigh area, but still, somewhat affectionate, right?

We were walking to the center and the Mormon and I were mainly talking. Kansas showed us his office and introduced the Mormon to another Head Of (fill in the blank). The 3 of us hung out while they were talking and then he took us down to the basketball gym and we looked at the hall of fame and played some of the games they had. We had a great time. After learning all about the history of KU athletics, Kansas decided to take us on a private tour of the center.

While AZ and the Mormon were stopped to look at some pictures, Kansas apologized for sometimes disappearing to help the Mormon meet all of these higher up people. I responded in a sarcastic matter saying that he should be sorry because I am number 1 priority. He said that it was a weird comment because he is married and his wife should be his top priority. I was slightly offended because my mind was no where near thinking about his wife. I quickly explained that what I meant was that I am more important than the Mormon and Arizona because I am awesome, and great, and a girl, which equals number 1 status. I told him that I was not talking about being ahead of his wife in his life. So, obviously he is aware that he is in fact married, and maybe a little on edge about our "relationship" or friendship, but he is the one who is making the ambiguous comments and hand gestures.

Kansas used to run track for KU which is pretty amazing since it's a division 1 school. He took us to the indoor track training facility/basketball's personal fitness center. I tried to redeem the earlier awkwardness by asking him to race me, but he had to do run backwards. He destroyed me. Then we raced again and he gave me a 40 yard head start and he beat me again. I had a lot of fun, it was kind of like sibling competition.

We went back to the basketball stadium for the game and he sat with us until the wife arrived. Then the 2 of them went to different seats for the game and I was sitting between Arizona and the Mormon. I was pretty pumped. Sitting between 2 cute guys and watching an exciting basketball game. Holla.

We went to a late dinner after the game (the 5 of us) and had a great time. The wife was not really very vocal, but she wasn't absolutely quiet either. She really just does not seem to have a personality. She is very nice and pretty, but I think she is really boring. And I'm not just saying that because she is married to Kansas. Also, what is kind of awkward is that AZ and I were the only ones of the group who drink. The Mormon doesn't b/c of his religion, Kansas doesn't I think b/c of his brother (substance abuse problem), and the wife doesn't b/c she is zero fun.

We got back to the house a little after 10 and the wife went to bed soon after. It was just me with the boys again. We were watching some of the Olympics and talking a little. At about Midnight, Kansas said that he was going to go to bed. I was kind of pissed because I did not fly all of this way so that I could sit on a couch and watch the Olympics. We have been busy the whole day and I wanted to just spend some down time with him and AZ. I explained that I was disappointed he was going to bed and said that I flew cross country to see him, not the Olympics. He came over to me and sort of rubbed/squeezed my head and said "I love you Isabelle." I responded with, "actions, not words." Meaning for him to show me that he cares, that we are friends. Not that I want him to furiously make out with me or divorce his wife. If he tells me he loves me, even if it's just fluff, then, let's see it! Don't ask me to fly halfway across the country, tell me you love me, and then when I want to talk, leave. I was frustrated. Think what you want.

Another note, similar to the thigh tapping or squeezing, he said "I love you" a few times. For a guy of his standing, I feel like these are not words that you just throw around. I feel that when he says them, he should actually mean them. That's just the kind of person I have always pictured him to be. So when he says these things to me, it confuses me.

I went to bed a little bit after because there wasn't much point in staying up anymore, especially since AZ fell asleep.

Kansas: Day 1

Kansas recap. I wanted to give more of a day to day account, but I did not have access to a computer and so that has left me with describing it all after it all happened. I will try to give only the highlights, but it might be difficult.

Friday:

I arrived in Kansas City, MO and was trying to connect with Arizona (AZ) and Kansas. I saw Arizona first and he gave me a big hug and grabbed my suitcase. We were heading down the hallway when I saw Kansas. I was so happy to see him. I went over to him and he picked me up in a huge hug. I was suspended in the air for about 15 seconds and holding tightly around him. He put me down and the two of them wrapped their arms around me as we walked to the car. The wife was not there. Kansas said that he and AZ had come up with 2 plans. Plan B was that I fall in love with someone from Kansas and move there. He explained that we will be interacting with many eligible bachelors. Plan A was I move to Arizona and live with AZ. I said that I was great with both plans. I mean, what do I have to lose?


We went to dinner and a friend of Kansas came to join us. We hung out at the friend's house a little bit (I met another friend there too. It really was going to be a male-abundant weekend). Then we went back to the airport to pick up the Mormon. At first glance, he looked really cute, but only about 21, maybe 22 years old. A little sad about that, but he lives in Indiana and is Mormon, so really, not missing out on a lot. We were driving back to Kansas's house and just laughing and telling stories and jokes. I think I was so tired from the week and mentally exhausted thinking about the trip that I was a little loopy, but that was great. It meant that I was not shy or quiet. I was actually kind of ridiculous, but had a great time. I don't remember many times where I have been so normal with myself. It was an incredible feeling.

We got to the house and the wife was still yet to be seen. Apparently she goes to bed pretty early each night. We hung out a little more and figured out where everybody was sleeping (I got the best room in the house). After we discussed the plans for the following day, we decided to finally go to sleep since it was 2AM.

Ethan's Super Bowl Party

Because I had no idea how bad the roads were until I was already on them, I drove out to Maryland to Ethan's house for the first time.  As soon as I arrived, he greeted me and told me that Kenneth was there, but that he'd brought his fiancee, Ursula.  Ethan told me that he hadn't wanted to bring her, but that she had insisted.  No idea if that's true.

I saw Kenneth and was surprised at how much cuter he was than I remembered, but I just smiled and said hello.  He can be as cute as he wants, he's still engaged.  I met Ethan's wife, Olivia, and she was super friendly and nice...but not what I was expecting.  She's Puerto Rican, 43 (five years older than Ethan), and a mother of three.  She and Ethan have been married for four years and together for seven, and...I don't know.  She's just not what I pictured and I think that's kind of nice.  I mean, I think that it's clear that they love each other and that's good to see.

Then I met Ursula.  She's like a short version of Sarah Silverman, but not as thin--which isn't to say that she's fat because she isn't.  I was a little taken aback by her because I was standing in the basement, talking to Ethan, maybe, and she just popped out of nowhere to introduce herself to me.  There's nothing wrong with that, of course, but I felt like she had rushed over to do it and it just felt a little weird.  I mean, that could also be because I know so much about how no one wants her to marry Kenneth, including Kenneth, but whatever.  Honestly, there wasn't really anything wrong with her.  I noticed how she stuck close to Kenneth's side the entire night, but I don't think that she knew anyone other than him, Ethan, and Olivia.

I think that it was around halftime when Ethan and I were messing with the music that he told me how he had already gotten three text messages from Kenneth saying that I was hot.  So.  That's flattering, but it's also a jerk thing to do when he's ENGAGED.  I said something similar to Ethan and he said, "He is not marrying her.  Trust me, I'm his best friend, and it's not happening."

I talked to Kenneth a tiny bit because he was rooting for the Colts and I had to rib him a few times when the Saints did well, but mostly we only talked with Ursula and sometimes other guests.  Definitely no flirting or anything like that.  Still, Ethan called me on my way home and said that Kenneth had said some more things, but that he'd have to fill me in later.  He still hasn't!!!  I really want to know!


I know that Sophie already hates this guy, but I'd go on a date with him if he broke off the engagement first.  For the blog, if nothing more.  Come on...things have been slooooooow.

E-mail from The Fourth

From: The Fourth
To:  Lila
Sent:  Thursday, 4 February 2010, 8:33am
Subject:  Good Morning!

Good Morning!

So.  Funny story.  So I had a dream about you last night.

It started out with me asking you out on a date on a Friday.  At first you
said no and then for some odd reason when I was about to walk out of my
office at 3, you showed up to tell me you changed your mind and that I
should pick you up at 7.  I made a reservation at some really nice place.
So I showed up to your house in Crystal City at this really nice apartment
complex and when I got there, the door man would not let me in so I called
you and you did not pick up.  Since I made the reservation, I went and had
dinner.  For some really weird reason, this place was a high end pizza
place.  So as I am sitting there, you showed up on the arm of another guy.
You came over to the table with this guy and introduced him as your
boyfriend.  He was some huge weight lifter guy.  I got really pissed off and
wanted to pick a fight with him for stealing you away but then out of the
blue, my friends showed up and stopped me from hitting him.  You began to
start yelling at me for being la  te to your apartment.  I went outside with
my friends and we thought going to the bar across the street was the perfect
distraction and as we crossed the street, I was the first of the group to
step into the street.  Everyone started to yell and as I turned, I got hit
by a Jeep driven by you!

I woke up from my dream to find out I woke up like 10 min before my alarm
went off so I was screwed trying to go back to sleep!

I know it was random but for some reason, I remembered it!


Okay.  Obviously, there are a ton of things wrong with his dream.  I don't live in Crystal City, I don't live in an apartment, I don't have a boyfriend (weight-lifter or otherwise), and I don't drive a Jeep.  Also, I would never behave so bitchily--well, I probably wouldn't.

I took one whole psychology class back in college, and even though it was specific to children, I'm pretty sure that it's given me the ability to analyze The Fourth's dream.  He's insecure and afraid to ask me out.  But, really, how hard is it just to ask if I want to hang out?

I talked to him on Facebook chat that night and he implied that he's "waiting for the right opportunity" to ask me out and that he might be planning something?  Like some big thing so that there'd be no way that I could say no?

He's still riding that line of The Friend Zone.  I thought that he was in completely, but the proof that he likes me pushed him out a little bit.  Only that was four nights ago.  Tonight we were texting back and forth, as usual (and often enough that Sophie came downstairs to complain that he was lame for not asking me out if he could spend that much time messaging me), and talking about the snow and whether we'd have work tomorrow, etc.  Then he says something about flying down to Florida tomorrow--like, for serious...his sister lives there--and then asked if I wanted to go with him.  I kind of laughed it off and said I'd probably have to work on Thursday, but he stopped texting me after that.  It makes me wonder if he was serious because he's definitely joked(?) about us flying to Florida before.  Oops?  Oh well, it's not like I would have gone if he was serious, but if that was his true attempt at asking me out, FAIL.  I'm not going to the beach with a guy who isn't my boyfriend and prance around in a bikini for him.  Um.  By ourselves.  (Sophie and Isabelle, shut up about Nathan--that was different).

If I Only Had a Brain...

Just got off the phone with Kansas. Had a pretty interesting conversation. We have been going back and forth with the countdown until I arrive. I had texted him with: only 6 more days! And he called me in response. We both talked about how excited we are about the upcoming trip. He asked me if I knew anything about what was going to happen to me. That question, given the context of this situation, is a bit strange. I know I am probably reading too much into it, but I thought it noteworthy (or blogworthy). I said that I had no idea about what was going to happen and he assured me that it will be amazing.

Then he told me that there was going to be another guest with us that weekend. A guy named Mark that Kansas works with on a national association thing. Apparently, Kansas told Mark that he needed to come and visit sometime. Mark suggested this weekend, and Kansas said that he was already having people, but he could still come if he wanted. Mark said sure. At first I was a little put off that I am now sharing my weekend with a stranger. Then I got excited and thought, maybe he will be super cute and nice and we will totally hit it off. Then I was informed that he is a Mormon. I don't have anything against Mormons, I just do not always agree with their views. So I went back to being a little disappointed.

Arizona (our mutual guy friend who is also going that weekend and is from Tempe, AZ) gets there at 3 on Friday, I don't arrive until 7, and then Mark comes sometime Friday night as well. Mark leaves Sunday evening and Arizona and I leave at 11 on Monday. Which means that I barely get to spend time with just the 3 of us (me, Kansas, and Arizona). The wife can come to I guess, but she is not really a part of our group. It kind of makes me sad that he opened up his place to this guy this particular weekend. I wanted to see Kansas and Arizona, not meet this new guy and spend the whole weekend with him.

We talked a little bit about the plan for the weekend. Kansas even said that he hoped the addition of Mark does not affect our weekend. I told him that Arizona and I were planning on making him and his wife dinner one night. He said that we had to see with the schedule b/c the basketball game is at 7 on Saturday and we have to be there by 6. And then church is at 5:30 on Sunday. I always feel a bit weird going to other people's church, but maybe it could be a good thing for me.

Kansas also asked me if I was going to apply to jobs while I am there. I am leaving my current job in June and am looking around in other locations. I was a little taken aback that he would ask. I mean he has mentioned that I should move and work in Kansas before, but I always had a job then and really no need to leave. Now I am officially leaving and he wants me to apply to jobs in Kansas while I'm there? Is this not weird for everyone involved? I asked him how I would do that since I am there over the weekend. He said that I could always apply and then come back for interviews. I was like, right, because that is super easy for me to do. Just fly halfway across the country for interviews during the week. He said that he would check online about openings and things and we'll figure something out. Seriously, what?

He also informed me that I didn't need to pack anything special in terms of clothes. He said that he bought me a KU shirt and that's all I really need.

After a few more minutes of talking about random things, I had to go b/c my battery was running out. He said that we would talk more in the next couple of days and reiterated how excited he was about me coming.

Dorothy needs more than a wizard, a good witch, and some red shoes to help her with this one.

The Plot Thickens...Or Something

On Friday morning The Fourth walked up with me all the way to Ethan's office which is right by the swipe-access only doors for my office.  He knows people up there and went in to talk to them after Ethan saw us and said, "Oh, I want to talk to you two."

Oh, shit! I thought.  What's he going to say?  Is he going to say something about The Fourth and I as an US?!  Luckily, he wasn't that bad.  Instead of embarrassing me, he invited us both to his Super Bowl party.  I pretended like I hadn't been talking to him for a week about it already.  Anyway, he e-mailed me with the information and messaged The Fourth, though he said that he only did because he said that he would. Today he offered to send a reminder to him, but I told him not to bother.  I'm hoping that The Fourth doesn't come.  I mean, I don't know how many single guys will be at this thing, but I don't want to be stuck hanging out with one who isn't asking me out--that's a waste of time!

Back to Friday, though, I went back out to talk to Ethan after I had e-mailed him to assure him that I was coming to the party and to ask what I could bring.  During that time he had talked to Kenneth on the phone said that I was coming.  Kenneth got excited (whaaaa?!?!) and asked Ethan not to send an invitation to his home e-mail because he doesn't want the fiancee to come with him now.  Um?  Ethan told me a little bit more about the situation.  It seems as if the fiancee is the one who proposed and she started moving her stuff into Kenneth's place.  Now that they're living together, he's finding out a whole lot more about her, namely that her finances might be a mess.  If he's telling Ethan that they might be a mess, they are probably a BIG mess.  And even before he knew that I was going to be at the party, he told Ethan that he just needed to get out of his house (and away from the fiancee).

I still am not going there with the intention of home-wrecking.  I'm just going to have fun and hang out.  Even if Kenneth likes me, he's engaged and living with another woman.  And even if he breaks it off with her, I don't know that I want a guy with that kind of baggage.