06 March 2010

e-not-so-much-harmony-yet Update

Okay I have a couple of things to mention as I travel down this road of online dating. Some of it I am frustrated with and some I have the attitude of "well eff him then." These are the ones that I am furthest along with in the process.

Match #1:
He is 25, lives in Arlington, cute, and pretty witty. We are currently e-mailing one another. He asked me what my perfect Saturday night and Sunday morning would look like, as well as a couple of other questions. I responded with some great answers and asked him the same ones. He said that his idea of a perfect Sat. night involves "making dinner and drinking wine" (okay, I'm with him so far), "then going dancing to'dance away the stress of our lives'" (umm...sure)" with lots of intimacy and sexiness, maybe the forbidden dance" (wait, what?), "then walking back home hand in hand under the stars" (really?), "and then ....Sunday morning eat some of his famous french toast while reading the paper. And maybe going to the market and working out."

Okay, so I am about 100% sure that the "..." part of his answer equates to sex. Not to mention his unsubtle note of doing "the forbidden dance"on the dance floor. That caught me totally by surprise! For a girl who is brand new to the whole online dating process in general and is very inexperienced sexually anyway, I was in shock. And not that I am now officially writing him off of my "to meet" list, I was just not expecting him to bring that up in our first couple of e-mails. That seems way forward to me. And I am almost in inner turmoil because I feel like I am not a suitable match b/c that was not in my idea of a perfect evening. And then I'm sort of like, screw it. It's my body and my life. If I don't want to have sex with him on a date, then I won't. Too bad for him. So why am I the one that feels bad?

Match #2
He is 25, attractive, from Arlington again, super driven in life. We were super close to the e-mail stage. He asked me some open-ended questions. I responded truthfully. That's the whole point, right? One of them was how did you choose your profession? I answered that I kind of ended up in it and am a little unhappy with it at the moment. I feel unfulfilled and think that there might be something else out there for me. He also asked me what is most spontaneous thing I have ever done. I told him, moving in with 3 guys at the last minute.

This morning I checked my match updates and he closed me out. His reasoning was that "he didn't believe the chemistry was there." What? I am pretty sure that I scared him off with my answers, but I am not an-unfeeling person. I was honest. Just because he is insanely ambitious in life and I don't love my job, doesn't mean that we cannot have a positive relationship. And yes, maybe 2 out of the 3 of my roommates include a thief and a molester, but that doesn't make me a bad person. Good grief! Maybe if you chose to get to know me a little more, then you could figure that out.

I have only been on for like 2 weeks and I am already kind of over it. I am already coming to terms with my spinster status. Yes, I am only 26, but I don't see many chances in my life. I either don't get guys b/c I don't give it up, or I don't get them b/c I am honest about my life. Who the hell are these guys hoping to find? I am going to continue my endeavours at least until my membership runs out and we'll see what happens next. I am also going to try going to church more regularly b/c I think that's my target group right now. And maybe some running clubs? I feel like I am whoring myself out a little bit. It's hard not to think that there is something wrong with me. Why am I so anti-datable?


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