29 December 2009

Because I'm Crazy

Last night I purposefully stayed off of Facebook chat just in case The Fourth signed on, not that that would have prevented him from texting me or anything. At this point, I don't think that we've talked since Saturday night, so I think that I'm doing pretty well.

It took me a while to fall asleep because I was trying to envision all kinds of different scenarios of how New Years' Eve might go down. In nearly every one, Nathan soooo wanted me again and I was like, "Whatever, dude." Only this is how things will probably go in real life:

We'll see each other and pretend like it hasn't been over a month since we've spoken...or I'll passive-aggressively say something like, "Hi, stranger," to let him know that I know how long it's been since we've talked, but then be really nice to him to make it look like I don't actually care.

We'll joke around here and there, but he'll mostly stick to talking to the guys and I'll whisper secretively and excitedly with Sophie and Isabelle to make it look like there's something going on that he knows nothing about to get him intrigued. Except that he won't notice or get intrigued.

Drinking will commence. The more that I drink, the flirtier I'll become until I forget every grand plan of appearing sexy and cool. Instead, I'll be my drunk self: loud, flirty, stubborn, and handsy. I will absolutely adore everyone around me, including Nathan, even as latent feelings of bitterness start to rise. Clever phrases that aren't at all clever will pop into my head and I'll wait for the first opportunity to use them, no matter how irrelevant they are. Example:

Nathan: I'm going to get a drink.
Me (drunkenly): Better not get beer in case you want liquor later. 'Beer before liquor, never been sicker.' You'll want to keep your options open, after all."

This because the word passed through the grapevine is that he told his brothers that he broke up with me to keep his options open. Now that this has stuck in my mind, I'm afraid that it will come up.

Perhaps I'm going about this incorrectly, though. I mean, sure, I'll be drinking, but who's to say that I can't get him drunk, too? Like, really drunk? Like, drunk enough to not remember any stupid thing that I might say?

I can only pray for a miracle.


Sophie said...

I have decided I love your blog, Lila. I can can find out about your life and tell you what I think about it a public forum without ever having to SPEAK to you anymore! SWEET.

P.S. - Are you aware that people in the group going to the NYE party are kind of not thrilled that Nathan is joining us? Because everyone knows how drunk you two will likely get, and the drama that will likely ensue, and the alienation your "date" Isabelle is likely to feel (as the otherwise non-paired person in a group of eleven people). Do you realize the general awkwardness for the people around you for which this situation has the potential? No matter how you decide to handle it, I beg you to remember that your friends (and Nathan's brother) will be in attendance, probably spending the evening averting their eyes and getting drunk enough themselves to judge you. And they'll be doing it out loud, not in a public forum. That will be way worse, trust me.

Also, you do realize that my dress is black and silver, right?

Lila said...

I love not speaking to you, too!!!

And this is all Nathan's fault. He knew that I'd be going, but he still decided to join us; he could have gone back home or joined his sister or something.

I'm definitely keeping you guys in mind for this because I don't want more gossip. Hopefully we'll just pretend like nothing ever happened. And I intend to stick close to Isabelle and find guys for her to dance with...that way she can write about them!

And I kind of forget what your dress looks like since I'm not a visual learner, but I know that it doesn't look like mine...er...the one that I'm considering.

Sophie said...

On the other hand, if you stir up some drama with Nathan, YOU will have more blog fodder. And then Isabelle can write about the night too, describing an outsider's view (and the gossip that grew from it) in her own NYE post - "New Year's Eve Party: In Which Lila and Nathan Suck Face on a Table and I Am Roofied by a Stranger Because Lila Has Abandoned Me But Luckily Lila and Nathan Are So Gross That I Vomit and Thereby Save Myself From Being Roofie-Raped."

It will be amazing.

Also, you are buying that dress. You have clearly already made up your mind.

Lila said...

My God. Now I kind of want something crazy to happen between Nathan and I so that Isabelle can write that post!! Think of all the lessons to be learned! I can learn why it's bad to abandon my friend for a guy who's only in town for two more days, Isabelle can learn why it's bad to accept drinks from strangers, and everyone else can learn...hmm...I don't know. That Nathan and I like(d) to suck face in random places?

I haven't decided about the dress. I mean, I know that I want it, but I don't know if I'm going to waste time looking at Ross and Dress Barn before I go back and buy it. Hopefully no one buys it out from under me. It was the only one there in my size.

My only regret is that I couldn't find a sexy red dress.