Last night I purposefully stayed off of Facebook chat just in case The Fourth signed on, not that that would have prevented him from texting me or anything. At this point, I don't think that we've talked since Saturday night, so I think that I'm doing pretty well.
It took me a while to fall asleep because I was trying to envision all kinds of different scenarios of how New Years' Eve might go down. In nearly every one, Nathan soooo wanted me again and I was like, "Whatever, dude." Only this is how things will probably go in real life:
We'll see each other and pretend like it hasn't been over a month since we've spoken...or I'll passive-aggressively say something like, "Hi, stranger," to let him know that Iknowhow long it's been since we've talked, but then be really nice to him to make it look like I don't actually care.
We'll joke around here and there, but he'll mostly stick to talking to the guys and I'll whisper secretively and excitedly with Sophie and Isabelle to make it look like there's something going on that he knows nothing about to get him intrigued. Except that he won't noticeorget intrigued.
Drinking will commence. The more that I drink, the flirtier I'll become until I forget every grand plan of appearing sexy and cool. Instead, I'll be my drunk self: loud, flirty, stubborn, and handsy. I will absolutely adore everyone around me, including Nathan, even as latent feelings of bitterness start to rise. Clever phrases that aren't at all clever will pop into my head and I'll wait for the first opportunity to use them, no matter how irrelevant they are. Example:
Nathan: I'm going to get a drink.
Me (drunkenly): Better not get beer in case you want liquor later. 'Beer before liquor, never been sicker.' You'll want to keep youroptions open, after all."
This because the word passed through the grapevine is that he told his brothers that he broke up with me to keep his options open. Now that this has stuck in my mind, I'm afraid that it will come up.
Perhaps I'm going about this incorrectly, though. I mean, sure, I'll be drinking, but who's to say that I can't get him drunk, too? Like, really drunk? Like, drunk enough to not remember any stupid thing that I might say?