Hello World!

Dear All,

I am new to the blog world, but definitely not new to trying to understand the inner workings of the male mind. My good friend Lila invited me to be a guest writer on her blog and share some of my experiences. There are a few, so how about we begin with the most recent?

Last year I hosted a Christmas party with my 3 roommates. There I met Brian, a friend of one of the roommates. We chatted some, but I was more into his friend, Brad. Brad asked for my number and then so did Brian. Brian called me the next day asking if I would go to a bar in DC for his birthday. I went with along with a friend and was glad to see Brad there as well! Unfortunately my friend was flirting with him the whole night (great friend, I know). We finally said goodbye and friend gave Brad her number. Even better.

Fast forward to September of this year. Brian called me and asked if I would like to go to a Nationals game with him and Ben. I had to turn him down because I had a meeting that night. Never heard from him again until last week when we held this year's Christmas party. We said hello, but I was mainly playing the hostess game so I didn't see him much.

Apparently (I don't remember all of the night) Brian was really intent on taking me skiing. With my friends. On their ski trip. I don't even ski!! Nor am I sure if I want to necessarily go. But he kept going on and on and on about taking me skiing and showing me how and blahity blah blah. Omg, please stop.

Suddenly, it was about 3AM and most of the guest have gone home. Brian and I are sitting on my couch and he is showing me pictures that he has taken (big into photography). I was really cold and so he put his jacket over me. His hand was kind of touching/caressing my knee as we went through the different albums. I was kind of near the point of falling asleep, so he suggested he help me to bed. I was perfectly able to get myself up my own stairs and into my own bed, but for some reason I agreed. He was helping me unfold my comforter and the next thing I knew, we were hugging. And then we were kissing. And then we were kissing a lot. And then kissing on my bed.

I am an anomaly for my age group. I have only kissed a few guys and have not really been to any of the "bases". I wouldn't even say that I have been up to bat, really. Sometimes I struggle with this position in life, but I have also kind of learned to accept it.

Needless to say, making out on my bed is already a huge step for me. He goes to close the door and then we continue. He turns off the lights and then removes my dress. Another big move for me. Stupidly I tell him that I am not used to all of this, and now he seems to think that I grew up in a convent. He kept repeating how he couldn't believe he was the 1st guy that is doing this with me. He was starting to kill my buzz a little with those comments. We keep going and he loses his shirt. He is getting pretty handsy and I allow some moves and kind of stop others. I don't want to give it all to this guy the 1st night. I'm sorry, I just don't work that way.

I finally ask if we can go to sleep because I am f-ing exhausted. We cuddle a little bit and then later on he asks me what I am thinking. Basically, I am thinking that I just threw myself outside my comfort zone with someone I don't know very well and with very little promise or plan for future interactions. I was kind of all over the place. I didn't know how to tell him all of that, so I half-said everything I was thinking about.

We kissed a little bit more until I asked to stop. I couldn't continue with all of these thoughts going through my mind. It is now about 10:30 the next morning and I tell him that I think it is about time to leave. He seems fine and once he is completely dressed, kisses me a couple of times. I am still confused about life and so I hold back a little. He gets super defensive and then so do I. I walk him to the door and we hug goodbye.

Haven't heard from him all week until about an hour ago when he texted me. Even my roommate asked if I had heard anything and thought it strange that he had never made contact since that night.

The texts have all been pretty basic and meaningless. "How was your week? What's new? Excited about the snow?"

I am interested in seeing the guy again, mainly because I am ready to get out in the dating world and I would like to feel that the night and my giant step was actually meaningful. Even if it doesn't end up working out, it can't be too bad, right?

I hope this was a good first blog and wish me luck in my future endeavours!